Decision Beyond the Decision

Below is part of a post that I completed a couple days ago.

“Recently, someone I’ve known for more than 20 years, called me to inform me of an opportunity to perhaps work in Thailand as a contracts administrator in the same company he is currently working. Through-out the years, these kinds of opportunities to move into different levels of the system have occasionally come my way. For the most part, I let them pass by, choosing instead to maintain my independence – defined as freedom. This time around, I've decided to go for it, all in. The company (like a tentacle of a tentacle) is part of an enormous holding company which is basically right in the heart of the world system. I'm not sure where I’ll end up with this (or even whether I’ll get the job); however, I am certain that I will no longer pass-up, in favor of the “desired” simple-life, opportunities such as this. The key is for me to not get lost in the process of integrating into different layers of the system.”

The remainder of the above post consisted of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements (which I’ll copy and re-post along with this document) directed towards some of the issues I was facing in regards to pursuing this particular job or jobs like it in the future. To get to the point, I didn't (on my regular blog) post  what I had written, because I judged my self-honesty to be a “less than desired trait” of these kinds of positions. In fact, for about two weeks, I stopped posting altogether because I didn't see writing self-honesty as something that would be looked upon favorably (for the position I was applying). 

The conclusion:
I'm not willing to hide who I am, where I stand, or pretend to be an “average/normal” person; I am far from the norm of this world, and I intend to keep moving in the opposite direction with all those who are willing, to reverse the course that has become the norm of this world.

The Decision, beyond the Decision:
I'm continuing with my self-honestly, and I'm going to continue posting my writings as public as they can be.

From the Previous post:

The points that I’ve been facing in regards to making this and/or other opportunities happen:

• Leaving my wife and dog by themselves: The last time I left, my wife had her legs run-over by a car – no serious injuries; then a motor scooter accident, requiring hospitalization and rehabilitation. On top of that, my dog almost died, also requiring surgery and hospitalization. Aside from the “idea” that I have to stay and take care of them, I see no “real” needs for me to be there all the time.
• Leaving the luxury/security of home: The last couple of times I've gone away to work in another country/city, I compared living at home, to living in small apartments with bare walls and a board for a bed; and thus, experienced loneliness and missed home.
• The risk of failure: I had in the past, largely accepted and defined myself as an underachiever: money beyond what was required for a certain level of comfort never really motivated me; yet I have held myself back for fear of failure.
• Laziness or lack of motivation: I have found that I preform very well at high-speeds or when there is crisis. The times in between have been like being bogged down on country roads, waiting for things to speed up. I've waited for the end of the world, the money system to collapse, oil to stop flowing...

Self forgiveness

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear leaving my wife and dog behind, and within this, not realize that I had projected my fear of being alone/lonely onto them, and used it to justify staying in my mind safe/home.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for what happened to my wife while I was away. I see, realize and understand that I've become dependent on having someone depend on me, and that it is not necessary for me to physically be there all the time.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for my dog getting sick – because I wasn't there to take care of things. I see, realize and understand that I am responsible for her well-being, and within this understanding, I make my decision – with the hope that my wife and dog will take care of each other, should I go away for a while.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to compare living at home with living away, and in this comparison, place a positive energetic charge on living at home, and a negative on living away. I now see, realize and understand that by comparing/judging where I stay/sleep/rest, I trap myself in the cycles of contentedness and discontent.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to experience loneliness, and within this, not realize that loneliness is merely a dimension of the mind desiring confirmation of its existence.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an underachiever, justified in the “righteousness” of not chasing money, and self-judgment – that I must have done something horrible to deserve to be locked-up in this Purgatory. I now see, realize and understand that I have caged myself, and to free me is to let go of the limitations that I once believed were me.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear failure; and thus, limit myself to attempt that which was well below my abilities.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear being exposed as not knowing, and within this, justify not entering into new environments where I might be exposed to the oversight of another.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that I performed better at high-speeds/in crisis, and within this, not see, realize and understand that I’ve been comparing myself to others, judging myself to be better-off in certain situations; and thus placing myself in situations where my ego would be satisfied that I was better-off than most of those around me. I now see, realize and understand that, once again I had caged myself into illusion which I accepted according to my limited/self interested point of view.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to desire a simple-life, and within this – not see, realize and understand that my simple/easy life has been paid for by the hardships of others.

Self-commitments

• I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to participate within/as wanting to be safe at home, because I realize that the idea of safety is no more than a lighted area surrounded by fear.
• I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to compare/judge where I live; instead, remain stable so as to accomplish my goals of participating and contributing to the process of changing this world to a place that is best for all.
• I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to judge/compare habitats, and to instead, make the best of where I am, by remaining here, breathing.
• I commit myself to no longer define myself as an underachiever or anything else; and thus, walk step-by-step within and as the living/understanding that I will accomplish that which I’ve set-out to accomplish, one step in each breath.
• When and as I find myself at the point of fearing not making the grade or being exposed for being in the wrong suit, I stop, breathe, and remember that the suit is just a temporary character to put on and take off as need be, and that I am able to put-on any suit I choose so as to maneuver/function within this system until a new system is up and running.
• When and as I find myself believing that I am not skilled enough to do a particular task, I stop, breathe, let go of the definition of limitation, and I move myself to a solution that is best for me and all involved.
• I commit myself to place myself in situations that require me to expand myself, do more and be more; and thus, rid myself of the idea of self-limitation.
• I commit myself to release myself of the desire for a simple-life, and to go do/be what it takes to to give everyone the opportunity to live equally.

On the Message of Equality

Clearly, no matter how much one write about the consequences that we human beings have caused unto ourselves and this world as a whole, there will continue to be a percentage that will fight to the bitter-end against Equality, in favor of – by default, their perceived right to have more.

In terms of the living conditions on this planet, there is no equality, only comparison: fear in the I's of the beholders. I look up to see those with more, and I desire what is theirs. I look down to see those with less, and I fear losing what is mine. Herein lies the conundrum of the human race. Paralyzed in the point of desiring something more, while fearing to lose what we have, we as a species have failed to realize that there is another Real option, the point of equality wherein we may “all” have what we need and even more. That so many are unable or unwilling to even imagine that every single one of us have the ability to move in harmony, is testament to a deep-rooted fear that has come to define who we are within and as the human race.

Ever wonder what is that we're racing to get to; what could possibly be so important that we must kill and consume everything just to reach the finish line? I have, and good news is the end is in sight. The bad news is, the final stretch is shaping up to be the most difficult, and to make matters worse, we seem to have gone the wrong direction – down the road of devolution, instead of evolution.

Deep down inside we all desire, want and need this race to end, so that we may begin anew. However, simply ending the race and thus stopping the devolution of life, is only part of the solution. From here, it is still is up to us all to design and agree upon a new destination – a New World Order if you will, one that affords us “all” equal rights and opportunities to a dignified life. This is where the Desteni group and the principles it stand by, come into play in a serious way. Equality is an absolute, and therefore the only solution/directive that we may “all” agree upon, because what is best for All is obviously also going to be best for self. It's not an idea, it's a principle/directive by and as which we give ourselves the opportunity and thus the responsibility to create a new world order that isn't just best for the few, but best for us all.

Day 101: Shame Rant

Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame on You! What you gonna do when they come for you? What you gonna do when you stand in front of that mirror, ask yourself why you didn't stand up for your brothers and sisters – the blood of you? Where were you when the hungry cried? Where where you when the oceans died, the last tree fell, and babies cried? Where were you when the bombs subsided; what side of the two-headed coin did you choose? Hollywood, sell some cheap glue to the ghetto boys and sing the blues. Where was I and where were you; shame we didn't arrive in time.

Inside the mind of a man who has not found his shame. It's there, I can feel it and see it, but it's too dangerous bring it up. The system sees shame, as with honesty, as a weakness to be trounced upon, outcast/cutoff from the spoils, nothing more for the conscientious traitors. “Go die with the ones that care enough to be what is right and good.”

• The Black hole, everyone must have one, that place we dare not go because, because, because; why?

• Why not explore the deepest of dark holes? Because of course, you might fall in, get lost and never return.

• How could I possible loose myself, unless myself is not really me, but a program designed to get me to believe it is me?

• It's you alright, and you go down that rabbit hole, you ain't never coming back.

• What is Shame, real shame, and why haven't I found mine?

• Shame in the system is like having no money, or talking to people who aren't there (unless of-course you make a cartoon out of it – in which case they reward you with money), it's not politically correct, and you might get put away; you'll  definitely lose ALL your MONEY! They – the system, just take it away, and your friends will refuse to even ReCogNize you.

• Shame is a lonely road where only the bold may go, and once you go, you never come back.

Day 99: More on Change and the Symbolism of Words

Change, I define as the difference between two or more points. Each point/moment/breath is an opportunity to direct self to become that which One is becoming (Humpty Dumpty putting self back together again), within/as A-wareness: either here in/as the present/gift to be lived, or not here but instead lying in status as Energy/Ion separated from self, lost in the illusION / religION of the mind. Change, as in becoming what one is becoming is a point or points that no longer hide in fear within and as the illusion [ill us(ed) ION] or religion [re lig(ed) ION] of and as energy. Whether the ION experience is positive, negative or neutral does not matter because it is all of the same source/starting point of friction/conflict to transform substance/physicality into mind energy. Change is measurable as the accumulation of breath/moments: from that of charged particles/mind/ion, to awareness equal and One with all that is physically here in and as the present. From here, the obvious key is to remain here, unchanged and unchained, innocent and free of all charges.

I enjoy exploring words, the sound/physical energy symbolism imbedded into and as the words themselves. Words are part of the code by which we as human beings are programmed. What is cool is that, once we realize that our words are who we are and thus – our responsibility to and as such words, we are then (through writing and speaking) able to change ourselves to become self-directed physical beings living for and as what is best for all. In other words, it's all in the words, and within understanding our words, we are able to self-direct ourselves to redefine/change our words, thus changing ourselves and becoming living words that create outflows that are best for all.

Self-forgiveness

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every word that I think, speak and/or write will create within and as it, outflows either of consequence or that which is best for all. Within this, I see, realize and understand that to stand as what is best for all, is to be – think/speak/write, only words that will create outflows that will be best for all. In this, I commit myself to guard/monitor my thoughts, words and deeds so as to become the change that is best for all.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to in moments/breathes, not be here and as such, miss opportunities to direct myself here in/as the physical. I see, realize and understand that within this life, opportunities are limited, and within this I commit myself to be more diligent – aware of the moments as breaths, so as to move me out of the mind's energy and into physical living.

Day 96: Energy Entity

The other day I reacted to seeing one of my posts reposed. Illogical yes, but that's what reactions are, illogical. It was an energy-entity type reaction, not so much associated with a personality as much as it was latent unaddressed guilt for having judged myself as not moving/asserting myself equal to my ability. By, “asserting myself” I'm referring to: posting blogs everyday, writing self-forgiveness, waking-up humanity, etc. I have all sorts of excuses for not doing more, yet none of them have anything to do with what's physically here. It's more as though I'm waiting for something (I picked that up from one of the Atlantean interviews, and seems to fit).    I have been waiting for something; I just don't know what it is or how long I’ve been waiting, and now I’ve begun to wonder if “waiting” isn't just another mind construct designed to keep me stuck in limbo, just waiting for the right moment.

Getting back to my reaction: I was quite surprised because I saw myself as having just gotten over a hump – kind of like transcending some points, and suddenly there I was, reacting. What is also interesting is that, after looking at what I had reacted to, I realized that my reactions were completely unfounded – based totally on my own suppressed self-judgment and guilt. After half an hour or so I had stabilized myself, yet I realized that the cause / starting point of this energy-entity is probably still lurking within me. So, my plan is to target it with self-forgiveness while at the same time, digging deeper into what it is that I’m waiting for, why is it that I spend so much time in wait. I've always seen myself as being capable of accomplishing absolutely anything and everything that I determined to accomplish. Perhaps that's the problem, deep down inside I fear exposing the image of myself as just that, an image.

One thing that I appreciate is that, the points to be dealt with, generally don't come up all at once, they come up when I’m ready to face them. Also the Eqafe interviews: I used to see them as knowledge and information, the secrets of the universe, and now I’m more noticing the assistance they provide. I have a budget to listen to only so many of those per month, and with a library to choose from it has sometimes been hit or miss, especially when I “think” about which ones to choose. So, these days I just look for titles that stand out/ring a bell, and this method seems to be working. Information and assistance all is right here; seeing it is just a point of standing equal to it, being ready to here.

Self-forgiveness

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to react in guilt – fearing that I had been called-out/caught/busted, and within this not see, realize and understand that the point of guilt is the part of me that knows what I require to do, yet isn't doing it. And within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that doing is also the point of learning to do; it's like the chicken and the egg, they both moved at the same time, and so too must I do so as to learn how to do it; i.e., write self-forgiveness to see what it is that I require to write. Within this, I now see, realize and understand that the writing self-forgiveness is also the process of seeing what it is that needs to be written; doing it is just a question of writing and seeing what gets written. Therefore, when and as I find myself at the point of “not having an idea about what to write self-forgiveness on; I stop the thoughts and simply begin typing and see what comes out of me.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as guilt for not moving myself according to my response abilities, and within this not realize and understand that it's not necessary for me to always wait for points to come up as energy; I am able to pull them out by targeting personalities, expanding on the little points, etc., until something comes up. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only the big reactions are worth writing about, and within this, miss the little points – which are actually the big points. In this, I commit myself to stop waiting for the points to come out of me, and go inside the mind and find them.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not moving/asserting myself equal to my ability to do so, and within this not see that my self-judgment is the act of me excusing myself to not take self-responsibility for that point. I commit myself to stop this “whatever” attitude, and challenge myself to see where it is that I haven't been.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m required to wait for the right moment at which point I miraculously manifest myself into a being worthy of life..., and within this not see, realize and understand “my own” tactics of luring myself/opponent into a state of self complacency – believing that there's plenty of time: mind manipulation used against myself to get what the mind wants, take it easy, sit back and relax. I now see, realize and understand that the only one inside of me is me, and that my state of complacency that I've been experiencing for quite some time now is a state of mind, the opposite polarity of worried haste. In this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the key to being more than before is self movement, consistently challenging myself so as to be more than before. Herein I commit myself to at each point of comfort, challenge myself to explore more within and as what is best/more for all.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to limit my self determination to points within my comfort zone, and within this not see, realize and understand that I’ve been catering to fear of failure. I now see, realize and understand that in not pushing myself to explore more of me, I was “staying safe,” locked away in fear. Thus, I commit myself to each time I sit down to write/walk/breathe/express, take the exploration just one step further to see what's here.

Day 95: What is Change?

Looking at humanity's history of the usage of the word, change, I see that (like most words in this world), it has been used and abused to evoke positive images of more money, prosperity, beauty, etc. While that which physically matters such as the environment, nature, animal kingdom, people, clean air, and so forth, are ignored as if they were not living parts of all that is here. The illusion that banker/politicians and the media propaganda would have us believe is that beneficial changes for all, begin at the top, work their way down, and all that the people need do is borrow and consume. For the human race that has valued only money while ignoring what is here as life, change is and has always been a constant race to the Finish line, self-annihilation, death by consumption. The tell tale signs that we are nearing this finish line are all around us: the water and oil wells are drying up, food stocks are dwindling, and noticeably – instead of expanding the money supply inline with a growing economy, bankers/governments are printing money as though it will magically restore economic growth. It won't, and nothing short of radical change on the individual and collective levels, is going to save us from finally reaching the finish-line of self-consumption.

Collective Change

On a collective level, real change is change that will benefit ALL aspects of life – animals, plants, humans, etc. It begins with the simple acknowledgment that All life is equal and as such, fighting for the right to have more is a crime against life. Nothing is separate and thus correcting the whole requires addressing needs of each individual piece of the whole. It's a process that must be walked in space-time and will require that we let go of much – all that we once perceived ourselves to be – as in separation. 

I started writing this with the intent to define change so as to benchmark my process. I now see that change as in where I’m heading is undefined. Interesting.  I have been walking this process of change (with Desteni) for some time now. It's a cool journey that isn't always pleasant because it's a process of letting go of that which I once beLIEved was me; writing-out the pre-programmed aspects of me, forgiving/deleting them so as to let them go, writing the new program in the form of self-corrective statements, and then walking these statements to the point that they become me.

Self forgiveness

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to desire and search for a definition of “change,” and within this not see, realize and understand that change within/as life is to be lived – not defined. For what is the difference between two points but the steps that are walked in between. Within this I see, realize and understand that no one tell me what change within and as me is, because I’m the one who must walk/live it. Herein I commit myself to let go of my preconceived ideas of change, and instead just live in/as the points where I happen to be.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that change would be easy, and within this not realize that to reverse me, I must first stop me by letting go of that which I thought was me; everything.
• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to secretly believe that I would be able to hold on to some aspects of me, and within this still not get it – if I have to hold onto it, it isn't me. Here, I commit myself to explore those aspects of me that I have judged as worth holding onto, and see what happens when I let go of them.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and idea that, the consumer/human race ends with self-consumption, and within this not see, realize and understand that – like me, the future is ultimately determined within/as the present, and as such we are able to change it.

Day 92: Why do I write similar Self-forgiveness and Self-corrective statements over and over again?

Writing the same statements over and over again makes it appear as though I am making the same mistakes over and over again, which leaves me exposed as being less than I have imagined/ portrayed myself to be. So, why do still it; because (as is seen from the statement above) my ego still has a hold on me. Consciousness – the autopilot program by which I've produced an image of me has backups, and as soon as I redirect one point the backups kick in and attempt to override the new settings. Thus, I reinforce my new position/stand by rewriting it as many times as necessary and by living that which I’ve written so that it becomes my nature, a natural expression of me. It's like disassembling myself while at the same time recreating myself: from a being that feared, bowed and begged, to one that which stands and walks. Changes that I've lived for only a short time are like wet cement that's just been applied to a hole in the ceiling. Much of it may fall down; so I apply more, and I keep applying until I as that point is covered and solidified. The ceiling which is also a floor is me in the process of standing and walking through the world system to change me and the world system at the same time. Simply tearing-down the ceiling/me to build a new one is not an option because I require the use of the ceiling/floor to be able to function in this system so as to change me and the system from within. As I see it, it has to be done in such a way because I/we are the system/problem, and thus we must become the solution, re-creating ourselves from the inside out.

On another note, have almost 3 more weeks left of not working, called vacation. Yet it's not really a vacation because these days I've only been working 3 days a week anyway. I actually prefer my working weeks. This Saturday, I will go for a drive to visit some places, go camping and sit in some hot springs. Then I’ll come back and take my wife to Chayi to her father's home, for the New Year gatherings.

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself as ego to interfere with my process of change – my process of eliminating me as ego. I now see, realize and understand that the points where I concern myself with what others may perceive of me, are points of ego, based within/as fear. Herein, I commit myself to write/walk through these points until I have nothing more to hide.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in making the same or similar mistakes, not see, realize and understand that just as it took space-time for me to program me to act in certain ways, so to will it take space-time to remove the program and change the nature of me.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself use imagination to create an image of myself, and within this not see, realize and understand that a picture is always of the past.

Day 88: Suppressed Negativity

Over the last 3-4 weeks, I've experienced kind of a condensed version of what I experienced a while back when I suddenly stopped writing. It feels kind of like withdrawal symptoms – writing and self-forgiveness withdrawals. What happened (from my perspective) is that right around the beginning of the year or towards the end of the year, I was not experiencing very much in terms of energetic reactions. So when I went to write about me, not very much came out, and thus I started focusing my writing on politics, capitalism equal money, etc. Here, I found myself somewhat out of alignment with the phase that those working on an Equality system are currently involved. To put it clearly, I do not see any redeeming qualities to be derived from Capitalism, that will be more Life-friendly (than they are now) within an equality system. Yet, I do agree with exploring all aspects of the old system, and the possibilities of the new. It's a process that must be walked in space-time, which requires patience.

Getting back to me

What I’ve noticed about writing less is, that the less I write, the more my mind has a tendency to slip back into the auto pilot mode of thoughts, internal conversations, imagination, reactions, etc., which when left unchecked becomes very uncomfortable. It's like getting use to spring weather year round and then suddenly having to face bouts of bitter cold. The cool thing is that, whereas in the past it took me quite a while to realize that I was off course, this time around it's only been a few weeks. The culprit lies in my personality that still cares what people think about me, and perceives that what they think about me is based on what I write. Therefore, I as mind seek-not to write to understand me, but to present a version of me in my favorite suit. So much of what I have written has only been the neutral and positive of me – for presentation. In my writing, I’ve suppressed the negative, believing that the positive moves/manipulates others, while the negative turns them away, and I justified this type of writing because I wanted to change people's ideas. All in all, I wouldn't say my endeavors have been a failure; I have after all written-out quite a bit of one side of me – the positive, leaving me a bit unbalanced. What are these negative points that I have suppressed?

1. I honestly want Civilization as we now know it to END. As I see it, if we allow even one part of life to suffer, then we should all equally endure that suffering, until we all equally end our suffering.
2. Bring on the viruses, earthquakes and tsunamis: nature has for far too long footed the bill for us to kill and consume, and in this regard, is equally as one responsible for implementing/forcing change. We are all equally the cause, and therefore must all equally become the solution.
3. To those who believe they are entitled to more because they whore/work more, I would ask to see their title to life, their right to be master over another. As I see it, no one is entitled to have More than another, regardless of how much More they may work/contribute. Some may work more, and some may work less, so what.
4. Democracy has never been but an illusion functioning in reverse of what was/is meant to be, (ALL) voting for what is best for all, not (ALL) voting for a few to make dicisions for all. We human-beings are but fools living in reverse of how life should be. How ridiculous it is to blame even those at the top, while we underneath hold them up – as pillars upon which their platform is based. For starters, I vote that we all just stop paying All debt, and watch how fast the top layers fall. I vote that All laws that are not or do not apply equally to all, be nullified; why should some be protected while others are not. I vote for a new world currency – one that is distributed equally to all... Suppressed Negativity, to be continued

Desteni

EQAFE

DIP Lite

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Thomas La Grua

Economist Journey to Life

Equal Money

Day 82: Who has earned the Right to Life?

Equal Money Newsletter

So it has been through history, the right to life, mortgaged to the bank, crown, government, slave traders..., what's in a name, miss a payment, they still take your home, your life away. Smooth talking politicians, puppet poster boys and girls for the Elite. They talk of change, and it's changing alright, just not in the way we Hoped. Even the most ignorant has gotta know by now; it's all been a pack of lies. The American Constitution, Bill of Rights, all just writings that in the end have amounted to nothing but another form of control. The Money System, Government, Judicial, Education, system, system, systems – all for the purpose of controlling the masses. What rights should any of us have anyway, that we're not willing to equally offer to all? In a system wherein equality is not absolute, a part or parts of that system will be subject to top-down abuse. The hierarchical structure – fear-based mentality of self-interest within and as the Human race is the source of the predicament in which we/all now find ourselves. We've probably been before, and that would mean that this time's going to be much worse – like a snowball rolling downhill. My hope for this New Year, 2013 is that there is no more hoping, not for me or anyone else. Because as long as there's hope, we human beings have a tendency to prey, wait for God or some alien beings to come and take us away to a better place. Instead of realizing that Earth was once a Garden of Eden, but is now just a Hell. Hey! As long as we're still here – alive, it's not too late to change.

Modern-day Capitalism, the suffering of the many for the benefit of the few has long been pushed and accepted as though it were a permanent solution, an equal-opportunity for all. It is now very clear that a small percentage of people (who see Capitalism as a game of winner take all – at all cost) have manipulated/corrupted the system to such an extent that it now function and provide for an ever shrinking few, the one percent. These manipulators, Banksters and their puppet politicians whom we call the Elite, operate for the most part from behind closed doors, and although some may proclaim that their intentions are good, the devastation done to our planet and all that inhabit it would say otherwise. As is scientifically verified in an unprecedented choirs of agreement, Earth is in a downward spiral that is fast approaching a point of no return. The current political system of policy making from the top – down will certainly do nothing to fix the system. Thus, it is for we the people, to step up and take responsibility for creating a new system, one in which “Equality” actually equates to All – as opposed to just all those with money. For those interested in participating in the creation and implementation of a new system that will benefit all equally, vote for Equal Money; give the gift that you would receive. Equal Money

Desteni

EQAFE

DIP Lite

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Thomas La Grua

equalmoney.org

Day 81: Mind - your Weapons of Mass Destruction

Today I was reading a “Heaven's Journey to Life” blog, and it occurred to me (I guess you could say clicked), why it is that we as human beings continue to argue/fight among each other, about “everything,” and never actually get down to addressing the source-point from which “everything” that we argue about, originate – the MIND. For example gun ownership in the US is once again being debated by two sides, the for and against / positive and negative. It's as though, issue after issue have already been defined for the masses, so that all they need do is choose a side and argue with each other. Meanwhile, nothing ever gets better because few to none consider investigating beyond the issue of left and right / positive and negative, to the source of the problem - Humanity. It's like the debate regarding the use of chemical weapons to kill people: some say it's a war crime; some say it isn't, and even the UN may debate whether or not it's “legal” to kill men, women and children with chemicals as opposed to just blowing them to pieces. Who gives a shit about the methods behind the Madness; why not just investigate and stop the Madness? The gun debate centers on the Madman's “tool of choice”, yet for the most part ignores the question of why we humans are so Mad – violent and destructive in the first place. We've taken everything down to the level of a competition between two sides. Just choose your favorite teem and at least you'll have the statistical odds of “Winning” 50% of the time – only in the mind because in reality everyone looses all the time,  because nothing is changing. I mean let's be realistic; just because a Republican or Democrat gets into the white house, doesn't mean that anything is going to change. Nothing is going to change until we the people begin to realize and apply the most simple of mathematical equations: 1+1= 2. One-change + One-change = Two-changes. Two changes + Another change = Three changes... And so on until a critical mass of change is standing as a force large enough to produce real/visible change that is best for all. It has to be best for all because if it isn't it is corruptible – subject to the influences of a minority - as is currently the case. That we Humans are the nastiest parasites to feed off of this planet, is so obvious to see, that one would have thought more people would have “awakened” to this realization by now. The solution is really simple. We start taking responsibility on an individual level to change ourselves, and this will in turn produce changes to the whole. Embrace self-honesty, self-forgiveness, equality and oneness.

Desteni

EQAFE

DIP Lite

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Thomas La Grua

equalmoney.org

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand why it is that people refuse to accept equality and within this realize individual responsibility. I see/realize and understand that the origin of one's refusal to change is fear – fear of letting go of that which we know – are not, and within this I realize that I still hold onto much fear of accepting change. Within this I commit myself to stay on the path of change, as I have already seen where the other paths lead.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other as being ignorant – by choice, and within this not realize that for most, it's not a question of choice, but survival. Within this I commit myself to continue on this path so that perhaps one day I will live that which I now encourage of others.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to berate others for not doing that which I am only bit by bit doing and within this not realize that, changing is a doing that requires diligence and space-time patience. Thus I commit myself to practice patience and to remain diligent.

Day 80: No Doom's day today

I’d be lying if I said that I haven't for a long time been hoping, perhaps the last of my hopes, that the end of the Mayan cycle would produce something, a wake-up call if you will to humanity, that change is now the order of the day. Alas, the day has come and almost gone, and all through-out the land, people are still shopping, including me. No tsunamis have come, not even the usual earthquakes that Taiwan so regularly sees. Billions will still go to sleep, hungry tonight, the rigged stock exchanges will still open on Monday, garbage will still flow into the ocean, trees will be cut down... Longing for the end of the Capitalist system, how do we put a stop to it; it's like it just doesn't want to die, crash and be done so that a new system (Equal Money System) may be put in place. I realize that it's not that easy – like Revolution and War. The most important aspect of change – other than its direction, is it's foundation, and here is where patience is obviously crucial. Once again I find myself with more questions then answers. Regarding the Mayan calendar there's more to this mystery, something – like so much else that I’m still not seeing. For example, why is it that the mainstream media such as CNN, never jumped on the 2012 craze, they never pass up an opportunity to hype an issue. Perhaps it's because they weren't involved in creating this one, or perhaps they're just focused on creating a different issue. Either way, I’d call this a day, one more step in the direction of letting go of the hope – small as it may have been, and turning once again to face what is to be faced, the consequences, slow and steady. The reason I am certain that there are still consequences to be faced is because I can currently see them playing-out and still being created. At least it wasn't plan A.

• I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to hope that the Mayan calendar had been aligned to an external event that would force would instantly force change upon us, and within this not see/realize and understand that hope in external events causing humans to change is one of the causes of our not changing. I see/realize and understand that it is necessary for us to change ourselves. Within this, I commit myself to continue walking my process of change, as long as it takes, and within this to come to understand/live the word, patience.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to long for the end of Capitalism, and within this not realize that longing for a system to end, only prolongs it. Within this, I commit myself to further investigate an Equal money system, and write more about it.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that the world as we know will end, and within this not see/realize and understand that without the necessary preparations for a new system being in place, the suffering would be even far more than it is now.
  Desteni
• EQAFE
• DIP Lite
• Creation's Journey to Life
• Heaven's Journey to Life
• Earth's Journey to Life
• Thomas La Grua
• equalmoney.org

Sandy Hook Massacre: What if it were you and Yours?

The senseless murder of children is a point for which I have no words to accurately describe the pain felt by those parents who are left behind. Why did it have to be their children? What did they do to one day be safe in their homes, as dutifully loving and protecting parents, and the next day, without warning, from someone whom they never even knew, be cast into the deaths of hell, beyond pain and sorrow... If only they/we could turn back the clock and go back in time. Yet, there is no going back, not for the parents of Sandy Hook, who's lives have been shattered by a pistol-bearing demon who may have lived just down the street; not for the victims of a drone strike, ordered by a general because a man he called a terrorist happened to be walking down that street. And certainly not for those that are left behind, now hiding in fear that they may be next. 

What would you do if this were you or yours?

What would you do if it were you? Put yourself in the shoes of those grieving parents, and ask yourself, what would you do. What would you give to turn back the clock for just a few days, a week or two? Would you promise to be good and prey every night, give a little more to the church, how much money would it take? Ask yourself this question, because tomorrow or the next day, this may be you. There is no going back, not for me and not for you. Yet, what if we are able to change the future and create a tomorrow based on equality – no more killings, murders and other atrocities. What would you do for this opportunity – would you change you? Would you begin to see anther’s pain as your own, her child as yours? Would you protect a stranger you never knew? Would you stand up for him, and give your life to save his child, as you would your own, or would you turn away, put your hands together and prey? So many are depending on so few. Who is willing to face their fears, ask these questions and become the answers?

Stand up and look in the mirror, because time is running short for all of us who still have the resources/money to take a stance, stand-up and put a stop to the abuse that is so clearly taking place in this world. Within the current Capitalist system, children are starving, being raped and murdered every single minute. Nothing is getting better, it's all getting worse – spreading like a plague. Now is the time to ask yourself. Are you willing to give unto another, an equal opportunity for live a dignified life. If so, start with a simple standing for an Equal Money System, as a stepping-stone for real change.

It's about consequences: our acceptances and allowances of the past that is now catching up with us in the present. It's about you and me taking responsibility for each other, standing-up and stating, “Till here no further, what happens to one, happens to all.” Within this stance we may begin to see the bigger picture and participate in changing it. Because, if you and I don't, the consequences will reach a point of total devastation, and not even all the money in the world will buy you or I a place to hide. To learn more about standing-up and taking responsibility, visit a group that are doing just that: Desteni.

Where Demons Lie

Do you really want to know where the demons lie, and from where they will arise? Close your eyes and imagine a picture of those who stand-ignorant and idly by while others surfer and die. See the starving children in a far-away land. See the aftermath of a drone strike, a surviving child picking up the pieces of what's left of her extended family. Keep your eyes closed, and picture yourself putting your hands together and preying, “God, I know you work in mysterious ways, but please don't let this be me and my family.” Then walk into the the bedroom and stand in front of the mirror. Now, open your eyes. See the demons that hide in the shadows of the love and light of ignorance while others suffer and die. Go to church and look at them sitting in their pews, paying and preying for god to do unto them that which they're too frightened to do for another. Look closely into their eyes and you'll see a reflection. Perhaps then you'll realize (the real I's), the evil-demon responsible for all the abuse in this world, that we've never allowed ourselves to see, has always been here in and as our own reflections, the part of ourselves that we hide. It's always been only us. And now, slowly but surely as the veil comes down, look into the eyes of the universe – the eyes you call “I”, and ask yourself, ignorance aside, “What should I do, now there's no where left to hide?”

If you knew that you could change the future, and in doing so turn this world around and save millions of lives? Would you take responsibility for all as you? Would you exercise the demon of ignorance, self-interest, and selective-love? Together, one way or another, we all shall realize and see.

For those that really do care (for all), I suggest to begin the process of investigating how All, within and as this world actually function, and within that, what one's responsibility is to All. For, with an understanding of what is happening and why, we enable ourselves to direct and change the present – before it becomes the consequence of our past (probably why it's called the Present).

Take a stand and become aware. Assistance and support is available by following any one of the links below.

Desteni

EQAFE

DIP Lite

Equal Money System

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life

Self forgiveness

• I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to state, “I have no words to accurately describe the pain felt by those parents who are left behind.” I realize that I do have words for it. Within this I commit myself to write and speak the words of what is here as life, regardless of the pain, as I realize my responsibility in waking-up others to the reality, as I too awaken.

Responsibility to Life

Each being is an inseparable part of all that is here, and thus equally as one responsible responsible for the whole. Yet still the condition of the Whole-World spirals downward with far too few even willing to take the first step to stopping and reversing this trend. We fear giving up our positions: “why should I risk loosing what I have, so that others can have more?” Wave the colored flag of war, and we willingly suffer, fight and die. Show us the reality: starvation, deforestation, dead oceans, and a dying planet, and we change the channel in our minds, so as to remain ignorant, not hear and see. Solving the problems on Earth is like climbing up and over the highest mountain. It's a frightening prospect, and from the current perspective of some, cannot be done; so why even try. Because, if we are to have any chance of surviving, this is a journey that we all must be, and it begins with the first step of responsibility. Some will at first, not accept responsibility, seeing only the hugeness of a mountain and not realizing that as the mountain is the sum of many small grains of sand, so too is its crossing the sum of many small steps. What many do not realize about their responsibility to life – what I also did not at first see, is that responsibility it is always only equal to one's ability to take the next step. And within this step-by-step process, each successive step prepares one for the steps ahead. The more we walk, the more we evolve and align ourselves to our current destination - a world where all life is equal and as such, equally provided with the opportunity to live and express equally as one. This, through my participation with Desteni is what I have come to understand as my responsibility to me and all as me. Standing as a responsible being, participating in changing this world to a place that is in all ways best for all is a step by step process, wherein each moment my responsibility to all is to take that next step. For those who choose to direct themselves as what is best for all life: assistance and support is available through the Desteni I Process, and Desteni I Process Lite. It is a the step by step process, a journey to life that involves facing one's fears, and through self-forgiveness – letting them go, self-change, establishing an Equal Money System, and much more.

Self forgiveness and self-commitments

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking the next step, as I fear that each step brings me closer and closer to having to stand and let go of that which I have valued / defined as me. Within this I forgive myself that I did not allow myself to realize that standing-up is a step by step process of self-change, and that within/as each step is the responsibility and the ability to respond within and as me. Herein I commit myself to remain here within and as breath, facing my fears and standing one step at a time.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being part of a group that accepts responsibility for all, and within this not see, realize and understand that my responsibility / ability to respond to all is only limited by that which I have defined/limited myself to being. Within this I see, realize and understand that each step that I take / fear I face, is a limitation that I leave behind. Thus I commit myself to continue my process of stepping-up to stand as life, one step/breath/moment at a time.
• Desteni
• EQAFE
• DIP Lite
• Creation's Journey to Life
• Heaven's Journey to Life
• Earth's Journey to Life
• Thomas La Grua

Day 72: Consumer Zombies

Zombies, that's what their calling them, and if you have a look at the many videos posted on the internet, of the Black Friday consuming frenzies, they – the consumers do look like zombies. I wish I was kidding, yet this is not a satire. Watching the the videos of the hordes of consumers lining up at 2:00 am, fighting their way through the doors just to get their hands on that gadget because little Johnny's just dying to open it up on Christmas day. This is what we've “evolved to, this is what we call civilization. It would be a joke if it wasn't so sad, perhaps the ignorant reading this will even laugh. They just don't see the other side of consumerism, the side that is too week to fight, the side of that pays for our gadgets with tears and lives – the crying dying side that consumers prefer not to see, yet all know is there. A friend of 20 years – of the few I have left, called me to come visit him in another land – cheap wine and women. I spoke to him about what is going on in this world, the mind and money, etc. He listened, yet has chosen to ride the wave of good times as long as he can, for after this he says, “there is no more.” I like him because at least he has chosen his fate, to die by the sword, and not play ignorant amongst those who profess love and light and conveniently prefer not to know. Where is the life in we human beings? I write about it, commit to stand for and as it, yet still find myself wondering where is the life. I do not see it in the faces of the zombies. It must be there in nature, the animals, the children, and even in the insects – there is life there. I'm way beyond disheartened, and far too awake – imprinted by now into my beingness, to ever go back, to that – the zombie state of Consumerism.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame of the state of this world, onto others – the consumer zombies, and within this not stand and take responsibility for them as me. I see, realize and understand that I am equally responsible for the state of this world as everyone else, if I were a zombie I would hope that those who weren’t zombies worked relentlessly to save me from dying as a zombie. Within this, I commit myself to stop my tantrums and focus on what I can do make sure that the human race and the rest don't all go down because too few were able to stand.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy the ignorant in their willingness to go on playing, ignoring what is to me plain to see, the ever creeping consequences of the human race to consume itself and everything else to oblivion. I see, realize and understand the fear that keeps them holding onto ignorance, hopeing that the consequences just don't catch up to them before they die, and within this I commit myself to not judge them or me for our fears. Instead I commit myself to doing what so many seem unable to do – change, because each point of change within the whole is part of the process of changing the whole.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as emotion/feeling as laughter to disguise the solitude and emptiness I feel inside. Within this I realize that this is just the mind wanting more, and it solve anything – but contributes to the problem. Thus I commit myself to not allow myself to fall into the mind's trap of “life got you down,” and simply walk here in breath, directing me in a manner that produces an outcome that will be best for all.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder why I can't see the life in the faces of so many human beings, and within the not realize that I only see in them what is within and as me. I'll find it and if I don't find it, I’ll create it as me.
  Creation's Journey to Life
  Heaven's Journey to Life
  Earth's Journey to Life
  Desteni
  EQAFE
  Thomas La Grua
  DIP Lite
  
  

Day 66: Mind noise and Mind constructs

Sometimes during this process of writing to explore/understand me, self forgiveness to release the energy/physical relationships, and the self-corrective application as a road map to actual physical living: I go silent – figuratively speaking. Basically, I'm assessing where I am, where I’m heading and weather or not I’m heading in the direction that I want to be heading. Which is technical speak for, “maybe I've taken a wrong turn.” I'm not exactly certain what I’ve realized in this last week of assessment/silence, except that it's time to start writing again. I'm currently doing a mind construct on “Work.” I generally don't enjoy doing mind constructs; perhaps that's the reason to do them, in that I as the mind don't enjoy them because they reveal too much, and they do seem to lead to actual physical living changes. So I’m not going to write about work just yet, because it's a point I’m dealing with in the mind construct; should be interesting. Besides focusing on work for the last week I was also noticing that the frequency sound inside and around my head area has increased in intensity – at least in the intensity that I am aware of it. In other words, the sound may not have changed at all, I may just have become more aware of it, or it may have increased in volume/intensity. Since I started trying to figure out what this noise is, I've considered that maybe it's the sound of silence; I've considered that it is the sound of life; I’ve considered that it is a condition called Tinnitus that some say exists within the ear area; finally I’ve also mostly considered it to be the sound of energy, because when compared to my database of sounds, it most nearly resembles the sound I have heard while standing in a quiet open field under high tension/voltage cables listening to the electricity move through those cables. I don't remember when I first started noticing this noise, yet I have been paying attention to it since I began investigating the Desteni material and paying attention to my mind. I haven't written anything about it because I realized that in time my questions would be answered. And recently while listening to an Atlantean female-being speaking through the portal, she mentioned / specifically described this sound that I’ve been hearing for so long. In noticing the increase in intensity of this noise, I of course question why. My guess is that the more one realizes or becomes aware of self as the mind/energy, the more one may also become aware / hear the sounds of the mind/energy.

I guess I should also write about is my resistance to doing mind constructs, what is it I enjoy and don't enjoy about them. The first point that comes up is the part where I require to label the components of the time-line – judgment, justification, manipulation, belief, etc. I always seem to see these components differently from the way another sees them. I've looked at this and perhaps it's because it really “all” comes down to the dimension of “Fear” and from there, depending on the starting-point or dimension within which this point is used/accessed by the mind (as I view it) the component is then labeled accordingly. I “think” what happens with me is I tend to over analyze when labeling these points. So this time I’m going to keep it simple, and where that doesn't work I’ll experiment with labeling or taking the component directly to its origin – Fear, and see how that works out. Another part that I’ve noticed in regards to mind constructs is that when I do them one after another, it's not always clear to me if I as the mind am not actually manipulating the design of the mind construct. Perhaps this point is irrelevant in that the outcome is realigned within the self-honesty of the self-forgiveness and self corrective statements. The last point regarding mind constructs is that historically when I’ve been focused on a mine construct I seem to write fewer blogs and do less studying. I'm addressing this point now – in regards to “writing and studying,” by allotting only certain time frames within which to work on the mind construct. Having written about my resistance towards mind constructs, I'm now seeing reason to continue doing them, especially regarding work.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/defined myself as not enjoying doing mind constructs, and within this not see/realize and understand that I had place myself in a polarity of doing and not doing, thus missing the principle of doing mind constructs – to see where and why/how it is that I’ve come to define myself within/as polarities of enjoying / not enjoying and within this why I’ve allowed myself to be directed by such definitions – instead of simply directing myself to that which is best for me and all as me. I now see/realize and understand that for me to actually be free of the constructs/polarities that have directed me for so long is to understand how/where and why such constructs operate/originate, so as to stop their creation and influence over me, and in doing so direct me to stand and direct myself to create solutions that bring about an existence that moves together in equality. Within this I commit myself to not allow myself to define mind constructs as positive or negative, but rather use them as tools to unravel the constructs within and as me.
• I forgive myself that (regarding mind constructs) I have accepted and allowed myself to get bogged down on the definitions of the components, and within this not see/realize and understand that the solution to this may be to not think about the labels – after all it's just another definition.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and develop a resistance towards doing mind constructs, and within this not see that by allowing myself to project my aggravation of doing mind constructs onto the mind constructs themselves, I was in essence playing into the mind's hand of the mind not wanting to be exposed.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that in doing mind constructs, I am exposing the the processes of the mind and within this I as mind will put up resistance so as to maintain my individuality / personalities / freedom of choice / right to abuse life/substance. I now see/ realize and understand that in doing mind constructs I am exposing myself as the mind so that I may once and for all see the patterns that I have accepted and allowed, and stop them so as to direct myself in alignment with that which best for all.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for reasons why not to do mind constructs, even though I do see/realize the benefits of doing them. I commit myself to do these mind constructs in conjunction with my other research and writings, and to no longer place a positive or negative value on doing them – but to see them for what they are - useful tools to change me so as to walk out of the mind and into practical physical living.
  Creation's Journey to Life
  Heaven's Journey to Life
  Earth's Journey to Life
  Desteni
  EQAFE
  Thomas La Grua
  DIP Lite
  
  

Day 60: Pieces of what's inside of me

It has been said in different ways and I agree: stop hoping, let go of everything, become self-honest, live within and as what is best for all – give unto others what you would have given, and so forth. There is nothing new about such advise, and as always it is still easier said than done. Not surprisingly, I am still finding this to be the case in thought, word and in deed. I wouldn't say that things are getting easier for me, just a bit more understandingly controllable, which for me is quite preferable to a total lack of control. On the other-hand the more I realize how the system function, the more frustrating it becomes to watch as piece by piece we as humanity march ourselves and everything else into the fires – manifesting as consequence of our past self-interest / carelessness. The mind consciousness system is an amazing system that traps the host into its very own self-substantiated virtual reality prison cell – the mind. It's fascinating because there are no bars, and the force exerted is apparently energy created entirely of our own acceptances and allowances. In other words, we decide within/as each breath to remain in the cell, participating in our own energy created illusions, or step out of the cell/mind and participate within/as what is physically here. The design of the system is such that it has become consciously aware of its-self, which as a system is like us on autopilot, organic robots. And the mind consciousness system (as a part of us as energy derived from our physical substance) understands that it requires us to participate in the illusion for it to continue existing. Thus the mind consciousness system will do everything in its power (which of course is limited to that which we give it through our participation) to lure us back into into the trap, the mine field. So as to the question of why there is so much deception in this world: it's because just as our (internal) mind is mirror of our beingness, so too is the (external) mind / world-system a mirror of our beingness; what else would it be, there's no one else here.

On the issue of “Give unto others that which I would like to receive” I've realized a point within which I haven't been walking completely self honestly. It regards relationships; specifically, calling people back after I’ve missed their calls – which I rarely get these days. Quite often over the last 5-7 years I've seen that someone has called me, and instead of returning the call right away I would put it off until I felt like calling back. I usually justified this with, I'm just too busy or involved with what I’m doing to risk being sidetracked by this call, so I’ll call back later. Honestly, (and I’ve said this before) I've rarely been very particular about the kinds of people I associated with – in terms of judging them as good/bad, smart/stupid, etc. If the person liked to party, that was good enough for me. Then when I began to see an opportunity for me/us to make a difference/change to ourselves and this world, I was certain that others – those I called friends would be interested. Instead, for the most part I told by many, in no uncertain terms that my new found information was unwelcome in the conversation, that I had become obsessed, and that which I see as research was/is just part of a cult in the process of brainwashing me. It's been probably about 5 or more years, enough research to write 2-3 theses on, and I’ve barely even touched the surface of what as the design and nature of existence is now (as I view it) in the process of unveiling or being unveiled. I'm sure that I’m welcome back into the relationship circles anytime; I never found them to be very judgmental towards me either. Yet to go back would mean (for me) a return to ignorance and or silence – ignorance of what is here as us and our responsibility to change the world to a place that values all life equally and or silence of not speaking of what is here and our responsibility to change. I'm not certain that this task/doing will be done in this lifetime, yet I am certain that I will continue until it is done. Then we'll see.

What message to send in the days of Revelations – at least for me they are. Who will even will themselves to hear, let alone see and take responsibility? The Economy: There is little I may say that hasn't been said by others more knowledgeable than I of Life eclipsed by an economy that has never been Eco nor even in the least concerned for you or me. We stand at the precipitous or edge of steep drop of our own making with only ourselves to thank for the opportunity to see who we really are, the nature of our beingness, the nature of you and me. I don't see it so much as being about saving ourselves as who/what we've come to be, why would anyone want to do that; changing ourselves – yes, but definitely not saving. In other words, for me as I see it there is only one option – self change. Here's a message: “Warning! Imminent catastrophic system failure! Self destruct sequence initiated – a long long time ago, Abandon ship”; or how about, “Come on now Sweet pea, it's time to wake up, we're killing ourselves and everything else.” As I've stated repeatedly, the collapse of the world money system is already underway, and it's interesting how people such as Alex Jones continue blame what is happening on someone else, feeding the audience what they want to hear instead of what they need hear/realize so as to take responsibility, embrace equality and change. Everyone gets angry when their privileged financial status is taken away from them, yet few seem to mind when it happens to others. All around us, nature, the animal kingdom, the sun, and the sea, have always only given to us that we may one day see that we are all interconnected as one. Yet we as human beings have done nothing but take, take, and take. It's phenomenal (a testament to the nature of our beingness) that we still refuse to see that we are the sea of life and within this seaing, stop and change ourselves to value all life equally.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated at my perception of the events taking place in the world, and within this not realize that the frustration is not due to the events taking place in the world but at myself for the relationships I have formed within and as my mind projection of myself within the world-system and my perceived lack of progress in changing my relationship towards all, from that of energy to physicality.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view the phone-calls of others from a perspective of whether or not I wanted to communicate and within this not take responsibility to be there to assist others, just in case. Within this I see/realize and understand that communicating with others is an opportunity for me to give unto others, as well as receive. Thus I commit myself to (when I recognize a number on my phone) return the call within a reasonable amount of time, and not just when it suits me.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my return to the relationship circles I once knew, to be a return to ignorance and or silence, and within this not see that my relationships were not based on ignorance and or silence but on the support I felt they provided me.
  Creation's Journey to Life
  Heaven's Journey to Life
  Earth's Journey to Life
  Desteni
  EQAFE
  Thomas La Grua