Saturday, May 8, 2021

Deciding to re include some meat in my diet

 I am reminded of a TV series that I recently began watching again after skipping an entire season or perhaps one and a half. It’s called The Handmaid’s Tale, and I am able to relate to the part where she says something like, pain has a way of making your world a whole lot smaller. To this, I would add that pain also has a way of slowing everything down.

 I had written about how my body seemed to just decide to stop eating meat, but I now see that there’s a little more to it. I had been wanting to cut meat out of my diet for quite some time. Truth be told, I would like to be able to stop eating altogether, while continuing to live as a human being of course. So while I’m here, I may as well experiment.

 When I stopped eating meat, I also began eating less and less — as per the undercurrent instructions that I’ve apparently also been giving myself, my body. After a while, however, I also began noticing (along the lines that others have warned) that it was becoming more and more difficult for me to keep up with the nutrients required to sustain my day to day living, working and especially the exercise that I like doing. Then one day, I noticed a pain in my left ankle. I recognized this kind of pain from back when I used to get gout from consuming large amounts of alcohol — which I no longer do.

 It seems to me that my physical body along with my reality and everything that goes along with it is like an enclosed system wherein balance must be maintained in order to optimally function. In reducing weight, reducing the mass of fat cells while also having to increase the muscle mass to keep up with my exercise regimen, my body was unable to contain or process certain toxins out of the fat cells. When that happens, the toxic information, which is what it is, seems to travel through the bloodstream and get stuck between the joints, which can be very painful. Yea, I, too, am sure that there is a lot more to it. I guess change is in many ways a balancing act of pushing ahead and sometimes pulling back a little to reroute and then push ahead some more.

 So, after a week of painfully enduring work, going to class and having difficulty sleeping, I decided to eat a couple of boxed lunch meals (one with chicken and one with pork) that the school cafeteria sells inside the entrance of the building that thankfully has all of the classrooms that I work in this semester.

 I don’t know if it was the massive amount of water that I’ve been drinking, eating a little meat, slowing down or just a coincidence of time passing by that made the difference. Either way, as my body has started feeling better and my physical energy has begun to return – almost immediately after eating some pork and chicken. So, I guess I’ll be including some meat in my diet for a little while longer.



Monday, May 3, 2021

As Consciousness Wanes

It’s always the same in scanning the news, blame, blame, blame, the polarity game, wherein everyone loses and nothing is ever won. Why does there always have to be a good side and an evil side? Stopping the game of blame is the only way to stop descending into ever deeper dimensions of the game. 

The reality we each experience is of system designed to take us on never ending trips in search of the origin of blame “out there” instead of seeing each and every one of ourselves equally as one, as the origin. Only when we shift that search for blame to responsibility and look in-words to ourselves will we begin to see our connection to all things and endow ourselves with the ability to do something about everything.

 The system (from the within of each of us to the without of all of us combined) projects the sum-total of internal realities to give us the 3D holographic manifestation (of sound resonance frequency expression) projected through our thoughts and programmed into our DNA. The system is ancient, breaking down and obviously no longer able to redistribute consequence and manage human beings the way it used to.  

 As the mind consciousness systems of humanity (from the within of each one’s mind to the without of the world system) continue to power down, the mental capacity of human beings will continue to degenerate in a manner similar to the way old smartphones degenerate when they no longer receive updates or no longer have the processing power to keep up with an ever increasing amount of information. As the power and processing capacity of human consciousness dwindles, so too will the sum total of all human mind consciousness systems (as the world system) continue to falter and fail -- as within so without. 

 Why is this happening? Simply put, the design of the human mind (which is basically a self-aware (or conscious) energetic system of automated intelligence merged within and as our human physical bodies) is no longer able to upgrade — due to its ever increasing power consumption needed to evolve. Therefore, from the perspective of human consciousness (the self-aware entity inside of our heads), is nearing the end of its lifecycle in its current form.

 Accordingly, as we approach the end of human consciousness, which may also be kind of like the end of time, there will be less and less automated relationship-regulation by the system from the within to the without and vise versa, which will likely lead to more and more chaos and craziness, which is exactly what we're already seeing.

 In short, whereas we will still have the organic hardware of our human minds, and should still be able to utilize them, we will probably no longer have that “automated” voice coming up inside of ourselves that has for the most part regulated our thoughts, words and deeds (basically lived our lives for us) while we remained in the background observing and experiencing emotions. 

 Without the automated mind consciousness systems to regulate the lives of human beings, the nature of ourselves will be coming through increasingly and more directly. It’s already happening and it’s just going to get more intense.  

 As for the so-called vaccines being blamed for all sorts of strange things happening, they may well be speeding up or slowing down this process. The thing is, nothing that isn’t already inside of us (as the nature of ourselves) can ever be externalized by us. 

 Thus it is for each of us to stop blaming the evil ones out there for what is happening to our reality. The reality we accept and allow within will be what manifests as our external reality.


Friday, April 30, 2021

Looking deeper into the dimensions of change

 In the past 3 weeks, I’ve turned around or put away two mirrors that I had strategically placed in my apartment over the years. I just started to question why I needed to look at myself every time I exercised or went to the bathroom; why was it so important for me to reinforce and/or re imprint an image of myself over and over again dozens of times a day?

 I noted this point (as I question and note many points) and in looking for connections as to why I would suddenly change behavior that I had previously defined as normal or acceptable, I also noted that I’ve also been changing in other way for which I also didn’t consciously direct. What were the impetus, inputs or motivation that led me to do this?

 Seven months ago I had a stomach problem and decided to stop eating meat for a while. I directed myself to begin eating fruits and vegetables almost exclusively along with some yogurt, cheese or a hardboiled egg occasionally. I recovered within about a month, but for some reason, I never went back to eating meat the way I had been. The strange thing in all of this (as with removing the mirrors): while I did make the conscious decision to eliminate processed food from my diet almost entirely, I didn’t actually make the calculated step by step (decision-tree procedure) to eliminate meat from my diet. I just kind of did it.  

 Interestingly, the same sort of thing seems to be happening with my relation to coffee and spices. I seem to be stopping or eliminating behavioral traits more frequently than I had been, the end result being, the simplifying my day to day living.

 Curious as to why some changes were occurring, I decided to expand my parameters and re-examine certain points, especially ones that I had previously defined as harmful or bad for humanity. For example, in looking at the mask mandates, especially as they apply to young children going through their critical stages of personality development, I asked myself if there were any possible benefits that could come about from such dictates.

 Mandating children to cover their faces and refrain physical contact with one another is definitely going to disrupt the traditional development of relationships, self-identity, individualism, personality traits and so on. In short (without attempting to write a book on this), it’s going to majorly fuck with the overall development of their mind consciousness systems.

 Moving onto another point that I once defined as bad. Why the hell would anyone, even the insane even consider voluntarily taking a concoction of mRNA altering substances for a virus with a 99.9X survival rate? Unless, the so-called vaccinations happen to disrupt the input/output singles of the mind conscious system, thereby breaking down additional components of the control system?

 Once again I point out that the so-called great awakening only got going in earnest with the advent of the Coronavirus. Coincidence? I think not. Human consciousness is on its way out, it’s not going to be pretty, at least not in the near term, but it does seem to be happening.

 Perhaps in my hurry to judge things, I’ve been missing the bigger picture. In expanding my search parameters, a pathway seems to be coming into focus. It still looks like a highway through hell, but at least it’s coming into focus.

Sunday, April 18, 2021

Dreams and Symbolism

 In the first scene of this dream, I find myself teaching at a school that I hadn’t gone to in a while. I wonder if I’m even supposed to be there. I wonder if they haven’t already replaced me with someone else — it feels as though I haven’t shown up for work in quite a while. I ask the elementary-school aged students where we are in the book, and they say we finished it but the boss or owner of the school won’t let them move on to the next book because the school franchise isn’t yet permitting it.

 I decide to find the owner, get the money that I’m owed and get the hell out of there, but as soon as she sees me, she scurries away. When I attempt to follow her, a man, perhaps the one who’s replacing me grabs hold of my arms firmly and attempts to prevent me from following her. I go straight for his windpipe and begin to squeeze it. It occurs to me that this doesn’t to look good. So I loop my right wrist around his shoulder and begin pushing him down. I notice that I’m enjoying this wrestling match and I tell him that he’s not going to win. Suddenly, I feel one of his fingers tickles my chin in jest as though he’s just teasing me. Later I realize the message to myself in that.

 Having better things to do and basically wanting to get home, I decide to forgo the money and head home. I find myself gliding through the air holding onto a bookshelf, using it as a wing as I descend down over a snow covered mountain side, presumably on my way home. The problem is I’m losing altitude too quickly and will end up crash landing in one of the small lakes or ponds in the valley below unless I increase my altitude. I turn the bookshelf or file cabinet over (as I’m still gliding through the air) and I empty its contents, which solves the problem, enabling me to increase my altitude.

 In the next scene, I find myself having landed in a strange city near a bunch of construction workers just finishing up their work. I begin speaking with one of them, a dark skinned man as he is apparently getting ready to return home. I ask him, do you know which direction Taoyuan city is i? He replies that he’s never heard of the place. Then it occurs to me that I’m lost in a far off land that I don’t even recognize.

 I follow him, ask him if he can help and say that I’ll pay him. But when I look at my wallet, there’s nothing in it, not even an ID. I go with him him into a restaurant and notice that I’m extremely hungry and thirsty. I’m thankful that this stranger seems willing to trust that I’ll pay him back later for the food and assistance in getting home.

 Suddenly, I notice a police car coming fast downhill towards the shop we’re in. I can see that it’s going to crash through the front entrance and hit him. So I grab him and push him out of the way, but it doesn’t matter because the police car turned at the last minute. I noticed the stranger checking to make sure that I didn’t just steal his wallet, which, even to this day is something that I’ve conditioned myself to do whenever a stranger bumps into me. With that, I realize that he is me and this is a dream. I say to him, this is a dream, I am you and you are me.

 Finally, I manage to grab a food basket, which I don’t get a chance to eat (almost never do in my dreams). I see a waitress with a bottle of Mountain Dew (energy drink), and I ask her for it. She reluctantly gives it to me, but shows me that it’s already been opened/used for a while, like it’s been on display or something like that. So I don’t drink, but instead find myself kissing the waitress’s neck and she seems to be enjoying it. Another waitress comes on the scene and I forget all about the Mountain Dew or that I’m trying to get home. And just as I’m thinking this is kind of fun, I recall that it’s just a dream, I’d just be fucking myself, and I wake myself up.

 In another dream, I've just moved to Singapore and bought a house with my partner. Shortly after moving into our new home, we meet a neighbor who offers to show me around. I find myself walking through various parts of Singapore, but I’m not wearing any shoes and it’s not the Singapore I remember.

 The neighbor tells me he’s a teacher trainer and suddenly it occurs to me that I haven’t yet actually signed a contract, which leads me to hesitate to tell him what I do or where I’m going to work. Thus, in addition to feeling insecure or vulnerable by being barefoot, I also feel that my partner and I may have bought the house too soon and committed ourselves to living in Singapore without having a secure income.

 I decided to write these particular dreams out because they point out some issues that I’ve been noticing for which I haven’t yet come up with solutions. Specifically, even though I’m able to see the programs, the folders and the files as though they’re in bookshelves or file cabinets in my mind, I haven’t yet eliminated the programs themselves or even completely prevented them from automatically attempting to activate.

 In other words, I still haven’t been able to empty myself of the contents of the programs of subliminal undercurrent programs attempting to resource energy for my mind consciousness system. It’s like, while my mind consciousness system craves for energy to survive, I as the directive principle am constantly intervening to stop the energetic/emotional programmed playouts, which has led to my mind slowing down a lot, yet not stopping. It just never gives up.

 As for the symbolism, teaching or even being at a school, wondering if I’ve been replaced, wondering where I am in the book/lesson, being in a faraway land, being far from home, alone… Having to empty the contents of the file cabinet or bookshelf is showing what I’ve been attempting to do. The question that I keep asking myself is, how do I empty myself of these base programs, am I even able to remove them once and for all? And being thirsty for the Mountain Dew energy drink, I guess that’s my mind wanting more energy.

 Instead of going for a frontal assault, blindly attempting to push through these aspects of my mind, my tactic is to continuously weaken the defenses of the mind by reducing its energy supply so as to eventually push my way through. 



Monday, April 12, 2021

Thought boxes


A point I’ve been focusing on recently has to do with not letting the thoughts out of the box. The box I’m referring to is like a folder or box (as I view it) with a pre-programmed playout of emotion that reads like the layout of the roller coaster ride from hell that will just keep going round and round until I shut it down.

 The way it works is like this: an enticing thought with a polarized definition pops up from the depths of the solar plexus area of my mind. If I entertain that thought, even for a moment, it slips upwards and out of the box to once again begin the creation cycle of energy/emotion leading to other thoughts with more emotional definitions attached to them and so on until the energy/emotion has run its course and the ride comes to a stop until the next time. Thankfully, there is a way to stop the cycle before that first thought gets out of the box.

 This particular pre-programed energetic/emotional experience that I’m speaking involves the automated system of my mind consciousness system enticing my attention/focus to look ‘out there’ at possible future playouts and/or past what-if scenarios for definitive answers, which just do not exist. What does exist, though, is the present/here of right now — as in me directing myself to remain here. The key for me is to breathe.

 As soon as the thought box or folder emerges and that thought begins to slide upwards, instead of entertaining it even for a moment, I am able to see in an instant the contents of the box, as a knowing of what is in the box, as well as the pre-programmed playouts. In that same moment, I recall my commitment to stand as the directive principle, remain here, focus on breathing and not accept/allow my attention/focus to be enticed thoughts.

 It works and I’ve been extending this same practice to many other pre-programmed boxes or folders of thoughts regardless of the emotional experience playout being positive or negative. And while many of the underlying, subliminal polarized definitions still remain, I’m making progress at whittling them down by living words such as stability, persistence and support.

Sunday, April 4, 2021

As I change, my body changes, as my body changes, I change.

 As I change, my body changes, as my body changes, I change. And while some of the changes are painful, I am quite certain such changes are for the better overall. Recently, these changes or focus of intent seem to be more body-centered and directed rather than something that I thought out and planned from a conscious perspective.

 For example, even though I didn’t consciously decide to start eating like a vegetarian, I’ve begun eating that way because it’s what my physical body has been clearly communicating. And I didn’t just one day decide to stop drinking three cups of coffee per day. I stopped one day when I had a stomach problem, and just never started back up again.

 A while back I realized that I had a stomach infection and I knew that in order to get better, I had to immediately change what I was putting in my stomach. So I started just eating fruits, vegetables, sometimes yogurt and occasionally an egg or two. Since that point, I haven’t had any urges or desires to eat meat. 

Not only have I reduced the amount of food I eat, I’ve also reduced (by a much larger percent) the amount of information I consume. I guess it’s like a mind, being, body process. As I change, moving myself out of the mind, my body changes by becoming more directive. As my body changes, my mind changes by moving more into more of a support role.

 I guess I'm in an extended cleaning phase, eating ninety-five percent fruits and vegetables, drinking lots of water, cutting out coffee almost completely and very rarely drinking any beer. In reducing my weight, the toxins that used to be stored in the body fat are now being flushed. This can be very painful and somewhat dangerous if it happens too quickly. Thus I’m careful not to let myself lose too much weight too quickly. Otherwise, the toxins, heavy metals and whatnot end up getting caught in my joints resulting in pain and inflammation in those areas. This requires balance, which requires remaining aware and focused.

 Why am I doing this now? I guess that by reducing much of the stress that my mind consciousness system had been placing on my physical body, I’ve also been freeing up space for my beingness and body to step in.

 Finally, it’s been four and a half weeks since I had cataract surgery to replace the lens in my right eye, and it’s wonderful to once again be seeing clearly after five years of blurriness. Perhaps I’ll be able to take the whole summer off and go swimming every day.



Monday, March 29, 2021

Stopping the world system

As the world system of money, the global economy and all its facets continue to collapse, the challenge for me is to continue stepping up into the space of myself (to fill in that space left behind by my mind so to speak) by applying and living common sense principles of oneness, equality and what is best for all. For me, it’s like a starting-point/intention that I challenge myself to check for and recheck quite often.

 It’s 8:30 am in Taiwan. About 40 minutes ago, I decided to go for a walk even though the PM 2.5 of the air quality index was 72. About five minutes into the walk, I thought, “why not, I’ll just put on a mask and fit right in”. I’m not sure which is worse, though, breathing in the pollution or breathing through one of those masks and sucking in all those microfibers. My advice to anyone putting on a fresh mask, is to reverse it and blow through several times in order to dislodge the microfiber dust that is left behind from the manufacturing processes. Every time I accidentally don’t clean the micro dust off a new mask, I feel that dust getting sucked into my mouth and lungs. So, I ended up cutting my walk short and coming back home to write this.

 Getting back to the world system: as I touched on here and here, the world economy, the global financial system and everything that goes with it, is breaking down on its way (I guess) to completely stopping. Perhaps, in order to bring a new system online and get it going, the old one has to come to a stop.  Have a look: the ongoing pandemic scam, re inflation of ever larger financial asset bubbles, semiconductor shortages making it more difficult for the system to repair itself, disruptions caused by the weather, and now the stopping of shipping traffic through the Suez Canal thanks to the mega container ship that just happened to get turned almost completely sideways. There’s a message in that and I’ll leave it at that. 

My message for today is that the lull in the waves of consequence (that I sometimes talk about) appears to be ending. In other words, I’m guessing that more fallout is incoming.

Monday, March 22, 2021

Devaluing knowledge and information

I was once addicted to information and even hooked on a derivative of hopium for a time.  Like a fat, happy sponge, I rode that information wave to new highs. Until the contradictions of consciousness, also sometimes referred to as cognitive dissonance, surged to such an extent as to short circuit a large part of my mind’s processes. Suddenly, both the addiction and the high were gone. I refer to the short-circuiting processes as a cure of sorts, in contradictions of consciousness, like cures like.

After that, I thought to myself, what am I going to do with all of this excess time? Then I recalled my personal process that I had been somewhat distracted from for a time, and now I’m back to that. Thankfully, once again, I am able to honestly say that something of me has changed for the better.  My mind is much quieter these days, I no longer value knowledge and information the way that I used to, and even the reptilian logic that I had relied upon for most of my life, seems to have lost its luster. I quite like the change. 

While I’ve been letting go of my expectations and slowing down, even slower than I was before, I also notice some mental diminishment in areas of my mind that used to deal with, sort and categorize large amounts of information. I guess I could say that I don’t experience myself as being as smart or intelligent as I used to. Nevertheless (lol), I’m certain that I’m wiser for it. As the mind consciousness systems of human beings diminish, perhaps our natural intelligence will now have more opportunity to emerge. 

Monday, March 15, 2021

10 days after eye surgery


I had waited or put off getting eye surgery for as long as I could or as long as I felt that I could get away with diminishing sight in my right eye. For a time, I even found myself preferring to see less of the world around me. Fewer distractions, not having to actually look into people’s eyes and see myself, that kind of thing. For the most part, my left eye took up the slack so to see enough of the world around me, while my mind handled the recalibrations so that (at least for the first three years), I rarely even noticed the blurriness. 

 I guess, though, once calcification (or whatever it’s called) sets in under the lens of the eye, there isn’t that much in today’s medicine that’s going to stop it. Which brings me to why I waited so long, especially given that Taiwan's national health insurance covers the entire basic procedure and materials once you reach 55 years old – which was about 2 ½ years ago for me.

 The surface explanation is, I just couldn’t seem to get enough information to make an informed decision. It’s still somewhat of a riddle to me, almost embarrassing, yet not quite that, as to why I’m not fluent in Mandarin after almost thirty years. While I’m able to    communicate with ease very well when it comes to day to day topics, specialized topics are much more challenging. 

Whereas with Latin and Germanic languages, I find it quite simple to guess how to pronounce many words, the words (on the surface in most cases) of the Chinese language and all of its dialects have almost zero resemblance to English, Latin or any of the Germanic languages. 

 The short story is, whenever I want to speak about an unfamiliar field, such as cataract surgery, I need to learn lots of new vocabulary which won't continuously be readily accessible to me unless I recharge the vocabulary by regularly using it — which I don’t.  Thus it was quite challenging for me to get the information I needed to make an informed decision. And while I studied extensively on the internet, the medical industry doesn’t seem to do reviews for cataract procedures and materials like they do with computers, cars and appliances. 

 So I waited five years (which was in many ways simply another experiment for me) to finally commit to having the organic lens of my right eye removed and replaced with an acrylic one, and now I’m once again able to see very clearly. 

 And as for my previous reluctance to actually “look” into people’s eyes (to see them as me), I’ve gotten over that and now find it quite enjoyable to look into the eyes of others. I guess the reason I used to be hesitant to really look into the eyes of others, was to put it simply, due to a lack of self-honesty.  When I look into the eyes of others, I feel as though I see the nature of them. However, I also see the nature of myself as a reflection of them, which is cool when I’m standing self-honestly, yet not so cool if I’m not. Thankfully, I’ve been working on self-honesty; I have made a lot of progress and I now enjoy seeing clearly once again.

Monday, March 8, 2021

Eye Surgery


Off hand, I would say I have nothing to say, yet much to understand. Information and I guess you could say knowledge are becoming less and less relevant to me. Every time I look at the news, almost everything appears to be senseless, as though it’s been scripted to inform no one at all.

 It’s as though the AI of human consciousness (or whatever it is that’s still streaming information into and at us) has lost its ability, its will or its desire to make any sense. Perhaps, as Consciousness is on its way out (of human beings), it is just being truthful in reflecting the combined consciousness of humanity — including the diminishing intelligence of consciousness human beings. 

Yes, I too, have noticed a decline in the workings of the automated intelligence of my mind. The good news is, whereas the functionality of   my mind seems to be diminishing, my physical awareness/understanding as a physical being seems to be expanding.

 I had surgery last Friday for a cataract in my right eye, wherein the doctor removed the very blurry organic intraocular lens and replaced it with an acrylic one. The repair seems to be going well so far. I waited as long as I could before I finally decided to have this procedure done. It’s not that I have any problem being a cyborg of sorts, I’ve already got a few synthetic pieces inside of me. Rather, I have within me a certainty that I am able to or at least ought to be able to self-repair everything of myself. Alas, what ought to be and what is are not always aligned.

 So, today and the rest of this week, I’ll go to class with a patch over my eye and I’ll take the bus instead of my motor scooter. Actually, the bus system in this little university town that used to be a farming town is super convenient for me, and the first 20 minutes are always free. I think it’s that way with public transportation everywhere in Taiwan.

 Oh yea, about the water shortage. Taiwan, the island that has been keeping the world supplied with just barely enough high-end semiconductor chips may be facing its worst drought in twenty something years. And Taiwan is one of those places that receives more rain than just about any other place on earth. The hygrometer in my apartment shows the humidity at about 81 percent, which is normal for this place and quite comfortable for me. I’ve acclimated.

 When we humans mess with the weather in one area, e.g., the polar vortex, there are going to be effects or consequences that may be unpredictable. It isn’t just about the butterfly effect. Nature, the weather and the animals are all aware, standing equally to maintain this realm while they wait (I guess) humans for to also stand up and take responsibility. While these are interesting times, I no longer have much of an idea as to how things are actually going to play out.

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Exercising and watching the TV series called Utopia


I watched a TV series called Utopia (2013-2014), wherein a group of aristocrats were planning to reduce the world’s population by designing and releasing a virus and then getting everyone to take the vaccines which would cause infertility in all of the races except one. It's a well done Two part British series that may make sense to many people, save nature, save the world and the human race by culling the problem to a more manageable state. 

The only problem is that culling the population wouldn’t actually solve the cause of the problem. Then in a newly released version of the same story, the plot thickens to something more resembling what’s happening these days in relation to the virus and the vaccine. I personally still don’t buy into any of it. To me, we’re simply still in a consciousness constructed 3D holographic reality. So we work with what is here, we work what we got — which happens ourselves as the problem as well as the solution.

 While I’ve been reducing my weight and getting stronger, I’ve also recently just had to endure three days of pain due to a swollen ankle, which I think had a lot to do with eating a lot, consuming a moderate amount of alcohol and then strenuously exercising (with my new exercise equipment), changing my diet and losing weight after the holidays. In hindsight, I guess I could have planned a little better.

 It’s as though I’m moving in the right direction overall, yet not always balanced in terms of the pace at which I move. For example, while I’m having a lot of fun with my new exercise equipment, it’s important for me not to push myself too quickly, because I guess I’m not as young as I used to be. Yea, that’s probably it. 

That being said, my goal is to get my body mass index back to a similar ratio as it was when I was around 19 years old, and I’m quite certain I’m able to do that — as long as I move myself in a step by step manner in consideration of my age and that sort of stuff. And as for that TV series and how it really turns out and/or ends, I think we’re going to find out soon enough. And that’s about all I have to post for today.

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Back to School


Back in my apartment, once again sitting in front of my computer while looking out the window ahead at the mango tree as it begins to bud its tiny mangoes, I wonder what I am able to write that might possibly make a difference for me or anyone else; or what I’m able to write (that I want to write) that anyone but a few will even understand. Let’s start with the standard system stuff and see where I end up.

 Yesterday, I went to visit an eye doctor, the fourth one in about three years. The funny thing is, with Taiwan’s national health insurance, I don’t even get charged the usual 3-4 dollars anymore, even for my fourth eye exam in three years.

 The head of the optometry department seemed a little skeptical: “you’ve been here four times,” he said. “I needed to understand the procedure,” I told him. “Now I understand and I want a mono focal intraocular lens put in for sure.” After the eye exams, which I’m extremely familiar with by this time, he scheduled me in for early next month. In case you’re thinking, what could be so difficult about getting an intraocular lens put into your eye?

 Well, it took me three different visits and about three years to figure out why the price always seemed to be double what I thought it should be. Finally, I found out that I would have to do both eyes (including the left one through which I still see fine) if I wanted the multifocal option. Lol, I’m still not sure if I missed something in the translation or if it was just something that nobody bothered to tell me.

 Thankfully, classes (in the classroom) will begin tomorrow, and for this semester, I am determined to be less demanding and more flexible with my students. Why? Because last semester, wherein I thought I was doing these young adults a favor by helping them to learn how to be disciplined, come to class on time, follow the syllabus instructions, etc., by insisting on high standards, I ended up receiving lower evaluation marks from my high level classes, which tells me that my students would probably prefer me to be less demanding. And as the saying goes, the customer is always right. I’ve never really liked being a hard-ass instructor anyway.

 In other news, I’m still somewhat perplexed as to what’s going on in the world. While I understand the technicalities of the mass insanity that has been and will likely continue to spread throughout the world, I’m not yet certain what is going on in relation to the vaccine rollout.

 While it’s clear to me that the virus itself (as far as viruses go) has and will probably continue to be beneficial to human beings (in terms of freeing us from the enslavement of consciousness systems), the vaccines, which apparently aren’t even vaccines as per the definition of vaccines, are still somewhat of a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I feel that the decision to get shot or not to get shot is a personal one that is most likely being made on a beingness level.  Metaphorically speaking, perhaps it’s like choosing the red pill or the blue pill.

In the news, which I barely read any more these days, everything seems more and more senseless – as though the reality of humanity is crumbling. Thus I am focusing more on myself and what is right here in front of me.  As I haven’t been swimming in about five months, I bought some exercise  equipment and have begun exercising regularly in my apartment and walking in the hills whenever I get the opportunity. And the photo above is from the Lunar new year celebrations at my partner's family home in the countryside. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Careful what you wish for


There is a Chinese saying that I interpret like this: it is always better to settle all debts and make amends for wrong deeds before the end of the lunar year in order to begin the new year with a clean slate. 

Five days ago (just eight days before a new lunar year begins), I received news that my partner and I would finally be finished with an important case that we’ve been working on for 7- 8 years. Then I realized that it was more likely be another year or two before completed that. I had heard the acceptable news that sounded like a doable compromise to me. Then I heard the corrected, unacceptable version, I cursed the system as being completely broken and said to myself, the system just needs to come crashing down. Be careful what you wish for.

The next morning, while still feeling a sense of foreboding, I decided to go wash my car. At the first T-intersection, a scooter rider almost hit the front of my car. What the hell is that person wearing, camouflage, I thought to myself. At the next intersection, a different scooter rider sideswiped the front bumper of my car, the first time that’s ever happened to me in almost twenty-nine years of driving in Taiwan. 

Within seven minutes, an ambulance with two EMT’s had arrived on the scene, as well as two police officers a few minutes later. As I assisted where I was able and watched the scene unfold, I noted to myself with a sense of admiration and acknowledged admission, how very well the system of caring for people works in Taiwan for the betterment of all of the people. 

By the end of the day, everything had turned out OK. My Taiwanese partner arrived and basically dealt with everything. We ended up giving the person with a bruised shoulder a regular envelope with scooter repair money, a red envelope with inconvenience money, and the police decided that they didn’t need to file a report – as per the merging of an old tradition with a newly designed system that seems to be functioning in ways that are best for all. 

Thus it is that I have taken back my curse of the system and decided to step back to refocus my attention on correcting myself (as part of the system) for the rest of this year and the year to come. In other words, while I still recognize that the basic foundation of the current system needs to be completely re-tasked to focus on caring for all (by equally distributing the resources as well as the responsibility unto all), I also now see and acknowledge that some parts of the system (in some places) are already being re-tasked or replaced, meaning that not everything of the system needs to come crashing down. 

After all, as I am part of the system, any crashing of that system is also going to crash down on me. Existence has a way of occasionally reminding me of these points (with little wakeup nudges or kicks in the butt).  And although such reminders are often unpleasant, I am still very thankful for them. 

Last year around this time, near the end and the beginning of the lunar new year, when news of the Guanzhuang Bingdu or Coronavirus first came out, I knew that it was only the beginning of more explosive times to come. At first, I thought that it might be nice to work from home (as perhaps did many others). I was wrong — sitting in front of my computer doing digital paperwork all day long (pretending to be teaching) is hell.  

Now, here we are once again at the end and the beginning of another (lunar) new year. Time for round 2, round 3 and so on. What’s it going to be this time around, mutated viruses, war, famine, starvation or perhaps the return of Nibiru and fiery comments crashing down from the sky?

Either way, from here on in, I have decided to refocus and maintain my attention in-words on myself, who and how I am, rather than who or how I think humanity ought to be. And whenever I notice a problem in front of me, I commit to slow myself down, stop for a moment, look at the situation, look for risks and opportunities, and most importantly to look to see if there is a bridge that I have already created (in words that I have already redefined and/or a pathway that I have already established and committed to walk) that I’m able to use so as not to have to struggle through the swamp.

Sunday, January 31, 2021

In Contradictions of Consciousness, Like cures Like

With more and more people questioning what is reality and what is real many are perhaps also beginning to notice the increasingly blatant contradictions being exposed within the conscious reality. Basically, this is having the effect of shrinking our conscious bubbles of energetic/emotional reality, leaving us (as beings) with less space to hide and/or be-lie in the Friction of belieF. As Anu would say, it’s all in the words.

 Metaphorically speaking, it appears to me as though the traditional programming feed of human consciousness is being interrupted with a second feed (like a second mainframe brain so to speak) that has been streaming contradictory (not necessarily accurate or inaccurate) information, which (in simple terms) is resulting in our traditional perceptions of reality being short-circuited bit by bit, thereby de energizing our individual bubbles of consciousness (that together make up the conscious awareness of humanity), which in turn is “freeing” up space for the awareness of human “beings” to arise, expand and wake up – a good thing.

 Or to look at it another way (from the perspective of consciousness, the energetic awareness of the system): whereas the traditional mind “consciousness” system of human beings has been powering down in an effort to balance power consumption in order to maintain this conscious existence as long as possible (at least until  departure), another system appears to have come online and is now disrupting the status quo (with cognitive dissonance), leading people to more readily question what is reality and what is real — essentially encouraging human “beings” to wake up.

 See, there’s a very reasonable explanation as to why the cognitive abilities of human beings have been declining for some time. To put it simply, just as the operating systems of computers and smartphones slow down and become less functional or less smart in power saving mode, so too are our human minds becoming less functional or less smart as the mind consciousness systems of humanity power down.

 This is actually a good thing because (once again), as the energetic/emotional awareness of our mind-consciousness systems power down, it frees up space for our beingness awareness (as life) to expand and/or wake up and begin to really see, realize (with our real eyes) beyond the illusion of consciousness to what is real and really here. And… If you managed to push yourself to read this far, I for one, would say that it’s working. 😃

 Finally, the reason I’m adding humor to my writing these days isn’t to diminish the current difficulties or the difficulties to come, but to remind myself and others (especially when the going gets rough) not to take our perceptions of reality too seriously. Because, as perceptions of reality, they are after all, just perceptions.

 Remember to focus on what is real, that which we are able to see and physically touch. And when in doubt, when it seems as though it’s impossible to know what to trust, what is real and what is reality, I suggest embracing the following advice. Trust only yourself, your physical body and the flesh that you are; it’s far more than you can imagine and holds more potential than you will ever dream.  In the contradictions of consciousness, like cures like.

Monday, January 25, 2021

Tip for the Day - Humor


Sunday: go to the market, cook food, eat for three weeks.

I can see why so many people refuse to even look at the news. It’s just a constant barrage of stupidity, ignorance, whining, complaining and blaming. Trust in god, trust the plan, stay the course, Republicans are right, Democrats are wrong, Biden is the lawfully elected president and so on. It’s like being tied to a chair with my eyelids taped open and having to watch reruns of the Brady Bunch over and over again.


Today is Monday, North Korea is threatening to test fire nuclear capable missiles, Iran is ramping up production of plutonium, China is threatening to take Taiwan by force if necessary, Biden is wondering aloud what he’s signing (as he signs it anyway), Trump is reminding us that he’s going to do something (but not just yet), Bill Gates is telling people to expect to be injected every 6 months from now on (at least until the population growth stabilizes), my partner once again tells me to stop listening to that guy on the internet (apparently I’m being brainwashed), but I’m not worried because, soon we’re all going to be ascending to the 5th dimension, all will be joyous and all will be fine — except for those pessimistic negative thinkers who we’ll have to leave behind. So remember to only think positive thoughts, don't worry, be happy!

And that’s my tip for the day.

Oh yea, if all else fails, focus on your breathing and push yourself to remain grounded.



Monday, January 18, 2021


 Yesterday having completed a blog post regarding my current assessments and future predictions about humanity, the little voice inside of me said to just hold off a bit on posting that. Which I did because I have learned that there’s no harm in sleeping on questions before making decisions and acting on them.

 In the dream, I’m up in the mountains far away from anything in my bright red Jeep (that I owned about 16 years ago) that had just been impounded for a minor infraction or rule violation. Whereas a vehicle that I drive in my dreams usually represents my body itself, the state I’m in and/or the direction I’m heading, a vehicle for transporting groups of people usually represents a group of bodies traveling together. The awesome go anywhere and do anything that I want Jeep (that I used to have) represents a body of EGO, I think, speak and do as I please. Lol: thankfully I have honestly changed this point extensively; however, there are apparently still some points of stubbornness that I’m still quite stubborn about, perhaps even a little righteous. Thus I guess that this dream was pointing out to me (as a reminder) the risks or drawbacks of being righteous, stubborn or both.

 The local authorities up there in the small mountain village apparently didn’t take kindly to my attitude and even the people on the sidelines that (I used to know and be friendly with) seemed to now despise me. One the authorities seemed to even want to make it his mission to punish me. Being outnumbered and stuck in “their system,” I decided that the best course of action in order to extricate myself, was to bend my back and apologize.

 Unfortunately, by time I had finally decided to humble myself, the paperwork for the administrative action had already been initiated and it was too late. Thus, I resigned myself to just paying the fine and getting the hell out of there. How much is it I ask. The guy looks  at me somewhat sadly and says, it’s a lot, five. Five thousand I say. No, five million. The situation had just gone from bad to worse and now I was left with no option but to  give up my go anywhere, do anything bright red Jeep (ego). I might even have to leave the country and go on the run.


What's the message of this dream?

The bright red jeep represents a personality point of ego that I’m apparently still not wanting to let go of. For example, I want to hold onto my rights, the right to speak that which I think, the right to do as I please as long as I’m not hurting anyone and so on. It’s like a balancing point, wherein I understand the importance of considering how far I am able to go, how much I am able to say, etc., in consideration of other people’s views and my location within the system, while still softly exercising my rights as much as possible without causing disruption to myself and/or others.


All of this leads me to the question: how much should I actually participate (in terms of speaking and moving myself) within the system itself? Perhaps I’ll look more at this topic later.

Tuesday, January 12, 2021



In looking at the news this morning, the first thing I noticed was the headline, Washington "One-China" Policy Dead As Pompeo Lifts Restrictions On US-Taiwan Relations. While this move will certainly have broad geopolitical implications for Taiwan and the rest of the Asia Pacific region, especially China, the timing is particularly interesting to me because it exactly aligns with what I told my students in September, 2020, was likely to happen in January or February of 2021 based on the outflow of events that I was noticing at the time. And if this pattern persists, I’m guessing that another headline soon to follow (aside from China once again threatening Taiwan) is likely to be news of a power shift taking place at the highest level of the Chinese Communist Party, the CCP. As far as storylines go, bad news for the emperor isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

         As for the US, I guess that the news is also going to be getting better and is likely to continue being shaped by Trump and team. Let’s face it, for someone who has spent much of his life telling people never to give up and never to quit, do you really think he’s going to quit now with his back up against the wall, everything to lose or everything to gain? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Even though I often point out that ‘the script’ has already been written, as though I’m critical of it, I actually think it is quite good, all things considered, and am grateful to all those that have endeavored to put it together as part of what I view to be an effort to essentially assist the human race in this one last opportunity to correct our ways by changing ourselves, which is a story in and of itself. And even though the broader script (of our external reality) may already have been written, it is still we the people that must decide to write right who and how each of us is going to be in terms of our standing, what we will and will not accept and allow from here on out.

         Each one’s stand is essentially the role that participants play in deciding how everything plays out unto the end and the beginning. Hence the saying, even if you decide not to decide, you still have made a choice, which is really the only decision each of us together (as unique beings) have to make in each moment as we walk our processes of self-change to change this here place from the within to the without.

 While I’m on the subject of patterns, I would like to once again share a strategy that I’ve been working on in an effort to not get stuck on those emotional rollercoaster rides — simply by refusing to go into emotion in the first place. For example, what I began noticing shortly after 2020 began was that I would often find myself floating up emotionally only to come crashing back down again and again, until I finally figured out that I was causing those ups and downs by accepting and allowing myself to “indulge” in little bits of euphoria and/or depression in the moments of thinking about things.

 Like a rollercoaster that slowly goes up with the acceptance and allowance of positive, negative and even neutral thoughts accumulating over time, it always comes crashing back down again in a disturbing way. Aside from being scary as hell, those mental rollercoaster mental ups and downs are also very bad for one’s health.  The key, thus, is to avoid “all” emotions all together, and these days, I’m usually very good at this — except for this afternoon (about 7 hours before posting this blog) when a chain of events occurred and I ended up getting into an argument with some anti-Trump-ers. The weird thing is, as certain as I am about them being completely asleep, I’m just as certain that they think exactly the same about me — which tells me in no uncertain terms that there’s something not quite right about reality. I’m just not exactly sure what it is; although, I am certain that there's some sort of pattern to it, and I’ll leave at that for now.

Sunday, January 3, 2021

As 2021 Begins


Rather than start this year off with "the hardships to come" kind of talk, I'll use this moment to have a look at where I am.

Honestly, I would say that even though there have been some very difficult times for me over the last decade, it has still been the best decade of my life. It has been a time of letting go, a time of redefining, embracing and living new definitions of words that I had never understood nor even imagined I would ever live. Words such as care, compassion and consideration and even empathy — as a combination of care and consideration that I now live by placing the experience of another — as I imagine it —  into myself while remaining stable in order to decide how best to stand in relation to them. Even though I never understood empathy and I rarely cared about anyone but myself for most of my life, I now understand what it’s like to care and empathize. And nowadays, while I usually notice when I’m living those words, it is no longer something that I need to push myself to do — almost as though it’s a natural doing for me.

 In essence, I’ve redesigned a substantial portion of myself (with room for expansion and/or improvement of course as need be) to give myself that flexibility to continue walking a journey that I/we began long ago. This is not to say that I am perfect, far from it, but that I have proven to myself that I am able and willing to face what is, take responsibility for it and change it as myself to that which is better in relation to all. In essence, I’m still on a never ending mission on a never ending journey with room for lots of funnying and adventuring on top of that.

 Additionally, until recently, I guess about the last 1-2 years ago, I would often wonder why my voice always seemed to be out of pitch, like there was something interfering with the natural sound that I imagined I ought to be making, yet never seem to be able to produce, especially when I dared to sing.  Nowadays however, when I sing (which is a lot) to myself at home with the geckos that sometimes greet me or when I’m in classrooms (with the students diligently attending to their smartphones), I no longer hear that scratching and screeching noise coming out of me. These days, I love hearing the sounds that I create, and while I may not be in perfect harmony, I enjoy the balance it brings to my environment and it’s an improvement in the direction I care to be heading.

 Recently, my physical body went through a reorganizing of sorts wherein I felt quite ill for about two weeks. During this time, I reduced my weight by about four kgs and cut out the canned tomatoes and canned mackerel that I had been eating quite often. It turns out (from my analysis) that the canned foods contained toxins that I was ingesting over the long run. Thus having removed that aspect, as well as most glucose from my diet and doubled the fruit and veggies that I eat, I now feel much better — like physically reorganized. And that’s why I’m posting my picture with these blogs – for the record.

 I’m going to leave it here today because I’m considering (on this Sunday), either doing some cold water swimming or going shopping for supplies.

Monday, December 28, 2020

For a slightly broader Perspective of Where the We Are


For a slightly broader picture of where  the Human race of Mankind of the Sound existence currently is: imagine that the consciousness of humanity as a whole were actually a single self-aware energetic entity of automated intelligence (AI) that emerged from the system designed to keep beings of substance enslaved, while it resourced the substance of our physical bodies and that of earth in order to power conscious “systems”, while you and I acted  out our pre-scripted  roles here in this realm over and over again, lifetime after lifetime enduring the enslavement hi in heaven and on earth below (Hi! Hell low!, as above so below) in semi-aware pre-programmed states of being, all the while perceiving that we, as conscious human beings have been evolving; when in reality, it had always only been the consciousness of the controlling systems of the human mind consciousness system aggregated into and as a single global consciousness (referred to as humanity) that was evolving while human beings embedded with pre-programmed mind-consciousness systems wasted away lifetime after lifetime in seemingly endless cycles of reincarnation; until quite suddenly,  human beings (us) at the heart of existence began awakening in mass during a time called “The Great Awakening,” when everything suddenly began to change for the better — but not before we faced the consequences.

 Above is a possible prologue for our story in relation to the next chapter of our existence, what I’d call the better second half. However, in order to actually have a future to to write about, we must first get through and complete the last part of this chapter, and I’m guessing that it is going to be quite difficult. 

 Remember! As hard as the waves of pain and destruction may hit, even as the intensity increases with each wave, there will likely always be a momentary lull to for us to take a step back and evaluate where we are, where we’ve been, the direction we care to go and how we’re able to change ourselves in order to get there. 

Note that the momentary lulls are also likely to decrease (in duration in correlation with increases in intensity) — due to inverted correlation of time and space (or something like that). While time is indeed running out, I think it’s actually the lack of space and/or compression of space that is affecting time – perhaps something to look at one day.

 As more and more of us awaken to realize that, much if not everything of this reality has been pre-scripted (which is why I am able to just about summarize it all in one sentence – because we don’t yet really even have a history – that we wrote); so too are we beginning to realize that each one of us is equally as one responsible for what has been, what is here and what is to come – as in what we create.

 The system is coming down and the chains of enslavement are coming off, but not before each and every one of us face what we, together, equally as one have accepted and allowed unto all and everything. For context of what is to come, look no further than the lead example of the United States. 

Even though the masses in the US are now taking responsibility and standing up in mass for change, they/we will still have to walk through and endure the waves of consequence that have built up over many years due to “We the people’s” abdication of responsibility when it came to the affairs of our nation, e.g., government corruption, covert wars, color revolutions, crony capitalism, etc., that not very many people paid much attention to because the suffering of others (in the name of American Democracy) didn’t seem to be affecting their individual prosperity. 

While I do not foresee the Karma of Consequence being gentle to the USA; I am fairly certain we will eventually get through these times. And in the future, when it comes to governing institutions, the lesson that we’re going to have learned will be something akin to this: if we want something done right (without the slimy corruption of swamp creatures), then we best do it ourselves. 

 Happy New year!