9-4-2020 Process Update

 

Lately my rollercoaster ride has begun to get bumpier. In the beginning of the summer, I noticed that my energy levels were mostly stable, yet tended to increase quite suddenly in intervals of about 7-10 days. Just recently though, my energy levels have begun spiking at increasingly shorter intervals, as though the moments between spikes are compressing at a quickening rate. In other words, whereas in the past, my emotional spikes of energy would have been quite regular with occasional blips, the intervals between spikes now seem to be increasingly getting shorter. It’s as though my consciousness-awareness is having to compress time/moments in order to have enough fuel to keep up with the pace of the physical reality, leaving me to have to deal with emotional spikes (at similar energy levels) at ever shorter intervals of time.

 Practically speaking, this means that I’m increasingly catching myself at the point of emotionally defining even the smallest of things. I say to myself, “no, I’m not going there” and a short time later I’ll suddenly find myself attaching energy to some other trivial point, and again having to stop that, too. I’ve even taken to physically squeezing the blobs of energy out of my abdomen and into my lungs to dissipate it, which is something that I’ve rarely had to do in the recent past.

 In addition, I’m sometimes finding it necessary to do what I’d call emergency writing (ranting and raving) just to manage energetic buildup that appears quite suddenly - which is something that I also haven’t had to do in quite a while. This all started just recently. Until then, I was having a quite relaxed summer. I guess it’s like a sign that it’s time for me to get back to work. At the beginning of the summer, I noted that there was going to be a lul for about two months. I think that the lull is now coming to an end.

 Other than the above (slightly out of the ordinary), I've been doing a lot of swimming, thus I’d say that I’m both mentally and physically very strong. I’m even able to do five pull-ups at a time and I bet I could do seven if I pushed myself more. I choose instead to constantly and consistently push myself with balanced intensity a little further each time.

 And I’ve been increasingly expanding my Facebook relationships. However, when I look at the communications lines, like roots extending out from me to others, I honestly don’t see very many of my words getting through or connecting with very many people. It’s like we’re all in our own little reality-show bubbles. Yet something is very different and/or increasingly changing in terms of reality. Q often asks, are you enjoying the show? Hell no, I say, but I am definitely seeing the programming that is obviously meant to be seen by anyone that looks. I guess this is part of the wake -up process that is also being externally impulse into/as the manifested collective conscious reality. At least as I view it; who the hell knows what others are perceiving?

 I’ll write some more on the “programming” notes (so to speak) coming through into the physical reality, and I’ll also post some of what I’ve been communicating on Facebook. In terms of the script or storyline of Consciousness, it’s very simple and easy to see, kind of like an action story that’s been purposely dumbed down for the cognitive levels of its readers. As Leonard Cohen would say, I have seen the future and it’s murder.

 I get it that there’s nothing that I can do to change what’s coming, because consequence must be walked through. And I understand that the best thing for me personally to do, would be to focus inwords on myself and my personal process, which I will also continue to do. That being said, regardless of what the knowing inside of me says, I’m still going to do all that I am able to (which may be little to nothing at all) to assist and support all as best I’m able. Why? Because I’m here.

Time, Story Time, Time for another Story, Perhaps?

Over the last couple of months at the end of each day, in looking back at my overall day as well as the week preceding it, I have been noticing somewhat of an anomaly (something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected) in terms of my experience and/or perception of time. While each day, from beginning to end seems to be going by quickly, the seventh day preceding each day of the week feels like a distant memory. Of course I noted this for future reference - as I note and categorize so many points or dots of information to form or create like a ground view picture of the state and progress of humanity. 

Days later while scanning the internet, absorbing information to keep tuned in with the global consciousness, I noticed a Q post or Q drop of a YouTube link to a segment of the movie starring Keanu Reeves, called The Day the World Stood Still. In deciphering this breadcrumb (as it’s called), the guy who produces the X22 Report for YouTube and Bitchute hypothesized that Q was conveying the message that people will only change when on the precipice of destruction or annihilation. I guess though, that there’s a little more to it.

Here is the dialogue from one or the movie scenes, wherein I’ve underlined words that seem to stand out:

Professor Barnhardt : There must be alternatives. You must have some technology that could solve our problem.

Klaatu : Your problem is not technology. The problem is you. You lack the will to change.

Professor Barnhardt : Then help us change.

Klaatu : I cannot change your nature. You treat the world as you treat each other.

Professor Barnhardt : But every civilization reaches a crisis point eventually.

Klaatu : Most of them don't make it.

Professor Barnhardt : Yours did. How?

Klaatu : Our sun was dying. We had to evolve in order to survive.

Professor Barnhardt : So it was only when your world was threatened with destruction that you became what you are now.

Klaatu : Yes.

Professor Barnhardt : Well that's where we are. You say we're on the brink of destruction and you're right. But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. This is our moment. Don't take it from us, we are close to an answer. Source: IMDB.

Later in the movie, I guess when Klaatu (played by Keanu Reeves) realizes that there may be a solution that doesn’t involve the annihilation of human beings (dare I say, again), the conversation between Klaatu and a woman holding her child goes as follows:

Helen Benson : It's alright. He's here to help.

Klaatu : There's another side to you. I feel it now.

Helen Benson : [referring to large, black cloud]  Is that how it ends?

Klaatu : Yes.

Helen Benson : You can't stop it?

Klaatu : I don't know. It would come at a price, to you and your way of life.

Helen Benson : But we can change, you know that now. Please, please, just give us a chance.

Klaatu : I'll try. I must get back to the city. Source: IMDB.

I wish I could say for sure which comes first, the plan or the coming together of the plan; however, like the chicken and the egg, I guess they do both emerge and begin to manifest simultaneously. Which brings me back to about ten years ago (which once again feels more like a hundred) to part of a story I read involving two beings, one named Bernard and the other, Anu-Que or Qui (an Anu that apparently came before (perhaps in a previous cycle) the Anu involved in creating this physical existence). And as I recall, they too seemed to be planning something.

Even though I didn’t get to read the whole story back then, I’m still reading and writing it presently, because this story, our story, is ongoing. Each of us have a role to play or stand as, and the cool part is, each one is able to decide which part/place/location they will stand as and become in the chapter to come. All you’ve gotta do is make the decision and begin the process of standing in/as that position. However, it is also important to understand that the creation process works best for each one from a starting-point/intention to create with zero friction, equally as one with all, outcomes that are best for all.

Getting back to my story: as many of us humans have come to realize, it is indeed our nature that we require to change. Unfortunately, it is also only on the brink of destruction that we seem to find the will to take “self-responsibility” for the “self-change” required to change our nature as a whole, which means that in order to answer the question, is there something more, are we able to evolve, we are I guess going to bring ourselves to the precipice or brink of destruction.  

As fascinating an adventure this may be, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) is to alway look for and push myself to walk through the “first” door of opportunity (to change myself for the better), because with each missed opportunity, the doors become fewer and farther in between and more difficult walk though.

Which brings me to “The Storm” or that black cloud that’s been building for a long time and has now I guess arrived, at least the front end of it. What exactly is this storm, I ask myself as I look out my window at people walking in the park under the sunshine. I’m planning on going for a swim in an hour; I’ve gotta go back to school on Monday, classes are opening back up, my regular routine will once again begin. I feel a storm approaching, yet I also feel a sense of excitement, why?

To summarize: everything we need to change, as well as everything we require to evolve to live unimaginable expressions of life is, as the saying goes, here on a golden platter. Now all that’s left to do is to pay the price by standing up and walking through the storm on the precipice of destruction as the old gives way to the new. I don’t have much of an idea (beyond a guess of about 5 years to three generations or three lifetimes) how long all this walk through the storm is going to take. Nevertheless, I’m excited to be here, I am determined to continue changing as we require and I’m also certain that we will all eventually get through this and emerge into and as, the same existence, yet completely changed.

Oh! And as for Time, it does seem (from my perception) to be pulsating more than usual, stretching and contracting, perhaps destabilizing a bit.

And… at the end of that movie, when everything stopped, including Time on the watch, what I guess really happened (symbolically speaking) had more to do with the flow  of energy and perhaps the movement of earth - hence the title, The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Finally, whereas the price, to us and our way of life, is to give up everything that we’ve ever held onto (and been helled by), the return for our effort will be the realization that we’ve given up and lost nothing at all to realize or regain everything (back) that we’ve always been.

The Life line of Breath

This morning (or yesterday morning by the time I post this), as I awoke around 4 in the morning with the usual thought boxes beginning to cycle in front of my perception, instead of fighting them, I went into a very determined form of breathing. As I was counting 4 heartbeat-counts in, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold 4 heartbeats and so on, I noticed something different.

Strangely enough, I noticed that I was actually doing it, breathing steadily without going into any of the thoughts that I could see (as a knowing) were there ready and waiting for me to be accepted. However, I just kept on breathing, playing with my breath. As it turns out, in the mornings, I seem to prefer longer breaths, like 6-8 seconds rather than the usual four. I guess this is because I have large lungs and am able to breathe slower when rested. Eventually I fell asleep again and when I awoke, I strangely enough found myself still breathing that way, yet with a memory of a dream I had just had.

In the dream, I was with two brothers at a home that I didn’t really recognize while the two of them were talking about a particular kind of watch one of them had acquired  and was suggesting that the others do the same. As they talked about that particular time piece (that showed up in my perception as a pocket watch),  I went for a walk to explore a structure a nearby building. Once inside, I found myself somewhat stuck balancing myself precariously on some weak, rotting pieces of wood in order to avoid falling into a deep dark abyss below.    Although I wasn’t scared, I knew that I was stuck and it was just a matter of time before I fell into the abyss.

Suddenly, I saw one of my brothers coming through the door.  He saw my predicament and immediately went back to get something something from my other brother. When he returned, I saw that he had very strong synthetic line, which he threw to me. As I was getting ready to use that life line to climb up, I woke up still breathing the 4-6 count breath. So I decided to get out of bed and do some writing.

Although, I don’t focus on or even attempt to recall most of my dreams, I find some of them are notable for the insight (I guess I could say) that they provide, especially the ones with easily identifiable symbols relating my physical reality. In this latest dream, the watch clearly symbolizes time - as in the clock is ticking. It’s like a part of me pointing to the wristwatch as if to say we gotta get moving.

Add to this the image of myself balanced or hanging precariously over a pit of dark abyss, holding on to old roots coming out of the side of the wall and the message becomes even more clear: with the clock ticking away, there is no more time to go exploring down every little corridor or conspiracy that pops up. On a side note, I’m starting to wonder if these conspiracy theories aren’t specifically tailored to myself and others specifically for the purpose of enticing us into the never ending mazes of abyss.

In looking at the  lifeline that was thrown to me just before I awoke still breathing the 4-6 count breaths, I woke up thankful for the message and I recommitted to better utilize the time that I have to focus on my personal process. And then when I went downstairs to make coffee and write this out.

Ahh! I just recalled where all this point recently arose. Yesterday as I was driving back home from my apartment near school, I was listening to an Atlantean being speaking about breathing. As she was explaining how even though everything in this existence, without exception, breaths as part of the design of this existence, it also retains a quantum point of absolute oneness and equality at the point between the in-breath and the out-breath (a quantum moment of the here of the completeness of pure life so to speak), I decided to see if I could identify that quantum moment, tap into it, hold onto it and expand upon it. The problem with holding onto that moment is that I’m only able to hold my breath for so long.


Therefore, instead of attempting to hold onto ever longer moments of being here, I decided to expand this point by aiming for “more” of these moments by focusing more on my breathing? Yea, I realize that I’ve attempted this many times throughout the last ten or so years. However, they always ended up being sporadic attempts that would eventually be interrupted and overwhelmed the overwhelmingness of my mind.

What’s different this time? I am of course. As I often say, life never climbing that gigantic mountain; rather it’s always only ever about deciding upon the next best step to take and then taking it.