Again I ask, what
comes first: equality and oneness, or the realization of equality and
oneness? I'd say that within existence, they exist simultaneously,
because everything is already here as all the possibilities within
and as that which is here (where else would it be – in
another existence?). Perhaps only our forms and expressions
change/evolve so as to realize the possibilities/consequences, thus
we as creators of ourselves, our current forms/expressions have the
option of trusting that our our predictive capabilities
of the past as the programs we inserted into and as ourselves as
substance during our previous forms/expressions, are that which is
currently best for all in/as existence. Or we may choose to trust
ourselves in our current forms/expressions and direct ourselves here
and now. It's really simple: trust/direct ourselves in the moment
based on the accumulation of all that is here in this moment as us;
or we trust the decisions that we may or may not have made as
ourselves within and as our previous expressions/forms. I vote that
we direct ourselves here in this moment, take self responsibility for
ourselves as all, and do what is necessary to be done to insure that
ALL are cared for equally and equally afforded an opportunity to
express/live. This is the stance/expression that I have
decided/chosen to be and become. Yet, how do I live this stance to
be/become that which I am becoming? This too is a choice that all
must make: how to live so as to be/become that which one would
be/become. The answer again is in our words and deeds. Life, as that
which we are and that which we are becoming is seen in/as our words
and lived/expressed in/as our deeds. The words we create are of
life of the human-physical/substance that is here of/as earth of/as
the universe of/as existence... Regardless of if words are spoken or
written, they are of life and therefore alive, expressions created by
us – their creators. And here within/as existence, so shall they
(the words) remain as consequence outflow. From the laughter of a
children, to the cries of soon to be slaughtered creatures: words are
of life that affect/shape the whole / all of existence. We decide
who we will be, as lived/expressed in our words and our deeds. The
truth as what is here has always been here in plain view, yet perhaps in
searching for more than what is here, we missed that which is here as
ourselves, so plainly seen in/as our words, and expressed in our
deeds; no wonder we've searched for more, not realizing that the
“more” is here in/as ourselves to be created/shaped in form and
expression – not found through splitting up and searching. I realize that once I have placed a words and deeds into existence I can never
take them back. However, I can replace those same words and deeds so
as to redirect the consequence outflows of those words and deeds, to
an outflow that is best for all.
I've edited/cut this writing quite
a bit, and after letting it go for a couple of hours, I had almost
decided to come back and delete it or put it with the other
theoretical stuff that I often write, yet not post. The reason that I
wasn't going to post it is because immediately after writing it, I
went into a shift of sorts, as though a personality that I once knew
decided to drop back in. I just stopped it – after an hour or two. And
then I realized that I've once again been embracing knowledge and
information as though it's who I am as life – when it's not because
if it were I wouldn't have to read and or listen to it – I’d just be
it. I’m still going to post this because it's not about being
theoretically right or wrong at this point; it's about writing out
the point that I’m facing in the moment, and this is that point.
- I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my
words and deeds are irrelevant in deciding/directing the totality of
all that is here in/as existence.
- I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others, expecting to be told what to do to change me and
all as me to be and become that which is best for all in equality
and oneness. I hereby end/stop my expression of waiting to be told
what to do at each turn of the way, and within this I commit myself
to use all that is here to change what is here to an absolute
expression of equality and oneness, because I will not accept
anything less than absolute equality within and as “all” the the
parts within/as existence.
- I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that
the point of living is self-expression within/as oneness and
equality
- I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that
absolute self-trust is me in/as equality and oneness with and as the
physical, and that will only be realized at the point of me as energy, absolutely letting go of control and walking into and as the
physical. Within this I commit myself to – point by point, through
writing/speaking/walking/living; return more and more of me as
mind/energy back into/as the physical by stopping me as
mind/energy/consciousness, and within this – directing me in/as
physical to live in equality and oneness – mind/energy and
physical/substance, equal and one.
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize
and understand that knowledge and information that is separate from
me is not reliable, as I am not living it as a statement of
who I am as life, and within this I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to sometimes forget that the point of
change is the letting go of the past, to live/create the present. I
commit myself to continue asking questions, researching possible
explanations; and applying what I learn in a manner so as to
facilitate the process of standing equal and one to all that is
here.
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others
will see me as arrogant and or wasting time for posting my
interpretations, theories, etc., regarding existence. I realize that
my position in terms of my accumulation of knowledge and information
is as a grain of sand to the mountain – yet equal to all the
other grains of sand, just in different expression.
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to withhold from posting
theoretical writings because I perceived that some might judge me as
wasting time theorizing on knowledge and information that has
already been tested and provided to me by the creators of existence.
Within this I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to
fear judgment or that I am in deed wasting time, because I
see/realize and understand that it is not to suppress the nature of
my beingness, but to change it to the nature of that which is best
for all in equality and oneness. Curiosity doesn't kill the cat, ignorance does that.
I forgive
myself for accepting and allowing myself to project onto others the
reasoning for my reluctance to post much of what I write because I
realize that much of is incomplete and or incorrect. And within this
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that
others will read my writings, and
judge me as writing without understanding.
Here is a battled
taking place within me. On one side is me walking to live only in the
factual/physical/present/moment, and on the other is me in
the process of breaking out so as to express freely – me,
whomever I may be or am becoming... Perhaps it's not really a battle; more like a getting to better see/realize me.
