I almost
always look over or what I’ve posted on my Blog and You tube.
It’s interesting to once again do video blogs. I still enjoy
(although not as much as I used to) watching myself on YouTube, and
the same goes for reading what I’ve written. It's not “All” ego
at play here; there is a consideration regarding the process of
change that I’m looking at. For example in watching myself, as the
main character in the last two Youtube videos, I see that the manner
in which I speak indicates to me that I’m still playing a
particular character that I’ve played for most of this life – the
little devil's still in there, having fun – or perhaps that's the
real me. I've also noticed that I state things as though they're
“true,” when in fact, they're just as likely to not be. I guess
that the main change that I’ve noticed in watching the videos, is
that I’m more honest than I used to be – regardless of the
accuracy/inaccuracy of what I’m saying. In looking at the question
of how to be more truthfully accurate within and as what I’m
speaking, I’m probably just going to continue to focus the point of
being self-honest. Just looking at the word, “TRUTH,” I see that
in one sense, we as a whole are probably as far from it than we've
ever been, and from another perspective nothing has ever changed.
Mind Constructs
I’ve recently just
about completed another Mind Construct on the subject of “Work.”
I once again see why I as mind have resisted doing these. Even when
I manipulate them – as I do to an extent, they still seem to bring
forth realizations. The main realization regarding this latest
construct is that, in compromising or giving in to demands of
another, while there is no compromise on the other side, I’m was
only compromising myself. In other words, compromising or giving in
to one-sided demands (even if it is giving in to a lesser degree), is
still giving in / compromising self. I had been projecting my giving
in, as a stand, but in reality it was more like a fall back and
stand, fall back and stand... which is not a stand at all, but a
falling back. So, quite a few realizations there. It's cool how upon
completing these mind constructs, aspects of my reality change as
though others have changed – once again showing me that the nature
of my reality.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the need/desire to check over my writing or vlog because I want to see how I sound to others, i.e., attempting to perceive how others perceive me, and in doing so not realize that I am judging myself – being an observer instead of the director. I see and realize that I am still participating in thoughts of how others will perceive me. Within this I commit myself to not allow myself to project onto others my reason for checking my blogs and vlogs, and instead simply read and abserver to see where it is that I’m still speaking/writing as ego.
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