I wrote before about my starting to work at another school. I'm teaching English, Math and Science (in English) to first and third graders. It's cool, I finally have an audience that listens to me – sometimes. In other words, along with their regular programming which I do not obligate myself to input into them, I present “a perspective” of the whole – at least the part/parts that I see. I did once find myself pushing the curriculum on a group of first graders and becoming upset when they continued to ignore me, but that won't happen again – meaning I won't become upset again because I’m not going to “push” that stuff into them. It's not that it's all wrong – scientists do ask and answer questions and study the world around them. What's not mentioned however is that scientists sometimes start with the “answer” and then formulate the questions to reach those answers; stopping there and reporting then their findings as though a definitive conclusion has been reached, when in reality they have simply limited their view of the world around them - to that which produce the most profit. How much of this will I be able to get across to first and third graders, I'll find out, and in doing so I'm going to make sure that enjoyment and self expression take precedence over memorization. For some time now, I've been trying to reach adults – including myself, and get them to consider a view of the world in terms of all of it being equal and one within/as each of us. I am not certain as to how much if anything that I've said has been absorbed by those that I've spoken with. However what I will say is that very little to nothing of what I say has come back to me from the mouths of those adult listeners. Thus, perhaps it is time let go of the adults and instead focus on assisting the children, and have fun in the process. Teaching children is probably one of most important. Yet it is also one of the most underrated jobs in this world - another consequence of everything being in reverse.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as cool to finally have an audience that listens or doesn't listen to me, and within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire an audience – one or more that listens to what I say, that I may convey information and knowledge and convert them to my side of the debate. Within this, I see/realize and understand that my desire to have a “captive” audience is me as ego seeking support as confirmation of my worth/value/standing in the system. Thus I commit myself to speak/teach from a perspective of participation in which all in the group have an equal opportunity to (in English) voice themselves, be listened to and participate in the direction of the discussion/topic/game/...
- I forgive myself that I have at times accepted and allowed myself to push an academic program as it is sequenced in a book, instead of adapting it to a standard that is best for all – as in participating in the opportunities to express self within a group. In this I commit myself to expand on the programs' perspectives so as to include balancing views so as to avoid programming the viewer to the limitations of a lopsided system perspective.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become agitated when it became clear to me that most of the students were ignoring me. Within this I see/realize and understand that if I am being ignored it is because I am not participating/expressing in a manner in which students care to participate, and or I am presenting information that students see as uninteresting. Thus I commit myself to monitor the students' participation and feedback so as to be certain that I am facilitating the self-expression of children.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become agitated when students do not respond or pay attention to that which I am attempting to input/convey. Within this I see/realize and understand that children have a right as life to decide what they allow to be imprinted on and into their physical / inter-dimensional minds. Thus I commit myself to present information and knowledge in a manner that facilitates children's understanding that they are in control and thus decide who and what they will be.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be critical of school administrators and within this not see that in a sense the higher one moves up in the echelons of the education system, the more difficult it becomes to maneuver within the system. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame administrators for not supporting children's rights to joyfully express themselves as life. I see/realize and understand that in many cases the best thing thing for an administrator to do is to insure that the students' primary teachers will direct themselves with common sense, realizing that the only value is life, and in this - prioritizing/safeguarding all children's right to express themselves as life. Within this I commit myself to practice what I have learned in regards to teaching children, i.e., the only value is life.