Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Pillar of Resistance, the Rebel in Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically believe that I am this standing pillar of stability (unseen within, but known to be there as who I am), without fully investigating or even seeing from where this so called pillar originates and why I as this pillar resists/rebels against anything that challenges my identity as this pillar of stability that I had come to believe is who I am as life. For a perspective of how the human function, see: Heaven'sJourney to Life Blog

The more I learn/read/consider about the relationship of mind consciousness system, the beingness, and the physical human body, the more I come to see that I don't really know who I am, an where my thoughts and memories originated from – or if they are even of me as who I am as life, or if I am even life. Of course the thoughts and memories are “mine” as the “mind's”). Yet are they of who I am as an expression of life or are they the result of a program imprinted into/as an organic robot? What is trustworthy? Certainly not the mind – it plays tricks on you. Leaving me with beingness – that I am, and the human physical – that which I would become / am becoming. I see that my thoughts are not even of me as life and therefore the memories I have are also unreliable because I’ve defined them with thoughts, feelings and emotions which at the time I had no idea of how they were created. The statement I’m making is that I will no longer trust the memories that I have stored in the mind, and as for thoughts – they too (except perhaps for a few) are obviously not of me; how could they be if I don't even see their origins. This realization does not move me at all in terms of “WTF!” However, what I do find really interesting is that I/we haven't see this before, that so much / perhaps all of who/what I believed I was is as I now see it – most certainly a lie. That's what I find amazing, how ignorant I’ve been. How ignorant am I still? Nothing of me – my childhood, memories, thoughts, fears, love, happiness and sadness has ever been but a con. It is said that the physical is real and that access to the physical may only be obtained by walking through the I of the mind. I walk this path, without hope or faith, and I will see what is real and let go of that which is illusion.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that that which within me resists, is me as life and that is what I must hold on to. I see/realize and understand that from where I stand now, “absolutely” nothing is certain. Thus I commit myself to direct me from starting point of the principles (that I have chosen) of what is best for all, and within this to walk and express that which “I may be” and that which “I may be becoming.”
  • Personalities: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and be certain that that within me – the pillar of certainty, is in fact me as life. Within this I see/realize and understand that the only way to be certain that this pillar of certainty is in fact me as life is to let it go, let everything go (as I’ve stated before), and from that which remain I am and will become. Thus, I commit myself to let go of this pillar of certainty, the rebel that resists, and in this see what is here.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that the mind is the key to me in that it is the mirror that shows me the picture I project – the layers of the onion that I may peel to see/realize and understand what is / isn't real.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that the pillar within me that resist is the rebel within that fear. Let's see who/what I am without this resistance. I let go of the fear of loosing me, who I've defined myself to be. For that which is not defined, I choose to be.

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