Recently while listening to an Eqafe interview called The Elitist Mind, I suddenly realized that I have been harboring and nurturing an elitist personality suit. I thought that I was eliminating my ego of superiority/inferiority in relation to others, but I was not completely correct. Perhaps, while focusing one point, I was amiss in not seeing that I was evolving another, the elitist personality within and as me.
In judging myself as not communicating effectively enough and not willing to accept responsibility for that, I suppressed the judgement of being less than perfect in favor of an elitist personality suit that I defined as humbleness justified by my perception that, I as more knowledgeable and intelligent than others ought to be kind to those who are less than me. Like squeezing part of a balloon: when I pressed down on one point, another point popped up, but because it made me feel better about myself, it was easy to ignore. Herein, like waking up from a dream while still in the dream, all I did was go from ego of desiring to be seen as more, to the ego of an elitist personality of silent righteousness veiled within an air of humbleness. Lol, once again I find the joke’s on me.
For sure, I am my own worst enemy; nevertheless, I reckon I am also able to turn my greatest weaknesses into my greatest strengths. Thus, I will continue to bring every point straight back to me, even when it means considering to realize that, the mountain I believed I had climbed was perhaps only a dream.
I am thankful for the assistance in seeing this point, and now I see what I have to do. For those who would like more information about the design of existence and the design of the mind, here is a link for Eqafe.