My way of the Highway
That's my title for today, and it will probably change (it did) as I type and what really wants to come out begins to come out. This morning I woke up with a dream in my mind. I knew it wasn't something that was/is supportive – just consciousness keeping occupied, so I (tried to) block the pictures/noise. It's a battle sometimes where it seems that I have to “focus/direct” the mind to my breathing just to stop my participation in the noise of the morning's thoughts; and other times it's quite easy. This morning there was still yesterday's backchat – the same as always happens when someone asks me not to speak Chinese in the class. Actually, they didn't ask me that: I told them (the owner of a school) that I could teach much more quickly if the students had an idea what they were learning/saying... Anyway, I understand that this is my issue that I have to deal with – I am working for them. This backchat is a reoccurring theme of “my way or the highway,” and having spent most of the last year away from home, I'm not so anxious to hit the road just yet, so I'll do it their way – which is now my way too.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my way of teaching is the best way for me, and that I will not be as effective using other methodologies. I see/realize and understand that teaching is not just about how much English, students acquire; it's also an opportunity to participate with others in an environment in which all participate as equals.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in backchat of, “the education system in Taiwan is just about keeping the kids occupied and making money. I see/realize and understand that the system is not going to change by me back-chatting about it, or even stepping out of it. However, I do have an opportunity to as I participate in the system, do so in a direction that is best for all.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things / change to come my way, and when it doesn't come, think that perhaps it wasn't meant to be – as though the universe is supposed to initiate the change and then I just jump in. I see/realize and understand that change starts from within, thus for me to change is for me to direct the change at my level.
Consciousness is building a new ride
I pay attention to the news, and I've been noticing the innovations regarding AI – artificial intelligence, robotics and stuff like that. I put 2 and 2 two together, and an idea/picture forms as to where this is all going: consciousness is looking for a new ride. Interestingly, I have no objection to consciousness transferring it's awareness to the internet, robots, etc. I guess in this manner we really do get to see ourselves in action. This presents some fascinating pondering-material for the quantum mind. However, my goal is live the consequences, not think them through. Thus:
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form ideas about the intentions of consciousness to move from the human organic robot, into the non-organic network.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that, thinking about this stuff is not going to change me to be more prepared to deal with everything in general.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see the whole picture, before it's painted – thus imagining it in the quantum mind, instead of actually living it in real time.
- I commit myself to stop focusing on the future, and get back to being here in the present so as to live now in the present and in the future – when it arrives as the present.