Saturday, September 1, 2012

Day 33: Self expectation


Situations are like waves that come and go, and the ones that scream for the the most resources always come when I least expect them. I'm talking about those moments when a problem/situation arises, and (as has often been the case) I as a personality/character immediately want to assume control. It's is unclear when such situations will pop up, yet what has become very clear is that the anxiety of dealing with such situations comes from within, and not from the situation itself, i.e., it's always me as mind justifying why I need to “concentrate” to direct this situation to an outcome that is favorable to me... I am at a point – and I have been for some time now that I realize that energetic responses to situations is just not necessary. The solutions when broken down into manageable moments do not require the mind's anxiety, fears, blame, etc. When all participants are taken into account and what is best/fair for all is calculated, it becomes a simple process each step of the way to calculate the direction, and proceed accordingly – to what is best for all. Thus, my expectation for me – my self-expectation is that I remain here, standing as an authority that sees the problem and directs the situation to a solution that is best for all involved.

Self forgiveness for self expectation
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to define “self expectation” as my ability accomplish anything, and within this not consider whether the accomplishment is or will be what is best for all.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that self expectation is not something that is for my benefit alone, but that which must equally benefit all, so as to be worthy of the expectation of life.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that self expectation is that which gives to all equally as one would have given, and in this we see self.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my self expectation was only considering me, and not all as me. Thus I realize that to be self respected is to give to all as I would have given to me. Life expects of me what I receive.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop fearing that I won't have enough, long enough to give to others that which I fear I will not have, so that the cycle of giving as one would like to receive may begin/continue. I see/realize and understand that I/we must begin/continue the cycle of giving to all as we would like to receive, building the momentum so that more may jump aboard.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious/fear that a problem will arise in which I’ll be left to battle the mind – just to stay out of the mind. I see/realize and understand that to prevent the battle is to change all parts of me so that all of me stand equally as one for what is best for all.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear mind attacks, personalities buried beneath the surface just waiting to explode. I see/realize and understand that as I created all that is of me as the mind, I will also direct me to stand as what is best for all – this is my self-expectation and will be my self expression.
  • I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to explore these personalities in depth enough to see them for what they are – pockets of energy, and completely delete them.
  • I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that because my characters are buried they are harmless. I see/realize and understand that that of me not seen is hiding, therefore it is for me bring all parts of me to the surface, and align all of me to that which is best for all.

Self Commitment statements
  • I commit myself to stop hiding behind the facade of “I can do anything,” and to simply walk in each moment for what is best for all.
  • I commit myself to no longer accept and allow personality/characters to intervene in my self-directing a situation to an outcome that is fair and best for all those involved.
  • I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself as the proctor to play a role in anything, as I see/realize and understand that characters of the mind only consider what is best for the mind.
  • I commit myself to no longer from moment to moment just think of myself, but to also consider how my movements affect all else, and within this – align my movements to the movement that supports all.
  • I commit myself to, when encountering a problem, direct the situation to an outcome that is best for all involved.

Redefine Self expectation
Dictionary definitions
Sounding of the word, expect
  • ex: out of, from, hence, past
  • pec/pic: to pick at, blame, find fault, judge, picture
  • t: the choices I make
Creative writing: self expectation
  • Choices that are based on memories of the past
  • Making present choices based on judgment of the past
  • Projecting self judgment
  • The choices I make, defined by the pictures of the past, so as to judge the present
  • Defining the present, based on the memories of the past
New definition, self expectation:
  • The self-will within/as standing as what is best for all, to direct a situation to an outcome that is best for all.
  • The self-will to stand as authority and direct a situation to an outcome that is best for all.
  • The will to direct self to stand for/as life.
  • Seeing the role within which self stands so as to direct situations to outcomes that are best for all.
  • The will within which one stands to direct a situation to an outcome that is best for all.
  • One's commitment to stand for and as that which is best for all

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