As 2021 Begins

 

Rather than start this year off with "the hardships to come" kind of talk, I'll use this moment to have a look at where I am.

Honestly, I would say that even though there have been some very difficult times for me over the last decade, it has still been the best decade of my life. It has been a time of letting go, a time of redefining, embracing and living new definitions of words that I had never understood nor even imagined I would ever live. Words such as care, compassion and consideration and even empathy — as a combination of care and consideration that I now live by placing the experience of another — as I imagine it —  into myself while remaining stable in order to decide how best to stand in relation to them. Even though I never understood empathy and I rarely cared about anyone but myself for most of my life, I now understand what it’s like to care and empathize. And nowadays, while I usually notice when I’m living those words, it is no longer something that I need to push myself to do — almost as though it’s a natural doing for me.

 In essence, I’ve redesigned a substantial portion of myself (with room for expansion and/or improvement of course as need be) to give myself that flexibility to continue walking a journey that I/we began long ago. This is not to say that I am perfect, far from it, but that I have proven to myself that I am able and willing to face what is, take responsibility for it and change it as myself to that which is better in relation to all. In essence, I’m still on a never ending mission on a never ending journey with room for lots of funnying and adventuring on top of that.

 Additionally, until recently, I guess about the last 1-2 years ago, I would often wonder why my voice always seemed to be out of pitch, like there was something interfering with the natural sound that I imagined I ought to be making, yet never seem to be able to produce, especially when I dared to sing.  Nowadays however, when I sing (which is a lot) to myself at home with the geckos that sometimes greet me or when I’m in classrooms (with the students diligently attending to their smartphones), I no longer hear that scratching and screeching noise coming out of me. These days, I love hearing the sounds that I create, and while I may not be in perfect harmony, I enjoy the balance it brings to my environment and it’s an improvement in the direction I care to be heading.

 Recently, my physical body went through a reorganizing of sorts wherein I felt quite ill for about two weeks. During this time, I reduced my weight by about four kgs and cut out the canned tomatoes and canned mackerel that I had been eating quite often. It turns out (from my analysis) that the canned foods contained toxins that I was ingesting over the long run. Thus having removed that aspect, as well as most glucose from my diet and doubled the fruit and veggies that I eat, I now feel much better — like physically reorganized. And that’s why I’m posting my picture with these blogs – for the record.

 I’m going to leave it here today because I’m considering (on this Sunday), either doing some cold water swimming or going shopping for supplies.

Investigating and Redefining Consideration, Again

When I first began looking at the word, consideration with the intention of redefining it into a living word, a word that I am able to physically live (as a physical doing) in relation to and in support of myself and all others, I ended up basically  projecting it onto my reality from a point of superiority, as though consideration “in its proper definition” were something that I gave or did unto others based on my assessments of “their” situations, needs, flaws and so on - kind of like justifying my judgment of myself as superior, them as inferior and then pushing myself to be kinder to them, supposedly in consideration for them. Well, as my first attempts to redefine and live the word “consideration” didn’t work out so well, I’m back at it.

In looking back, I initially felt quite good about myself, magnanimous to be precise. However, the more I experimented with my newly designed application of consideration,  the more I began to notice that the feedback I was getting from others was not of consideration for them, but of opposition and in some cases condescension towards me from a point of righteousness. I was like, where the hell is that coming from?

Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Desteni I Process about myself and self-change, it’s that all my internal experiences, thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc.,  actually originate from within myself based on how I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define and be defined by the ups and downs of energetic experiences infinitely cycling back and forth between the positive and negative. Yea, being a human “being” really is insane; however, as we are each also within and as the human “physical” bodies of “mankind,” we therefore also have the unique opportunity to change ourselves once and for all by redefining ourselves into and as living words - as was apparently suggested thousands of years ago.

Getting back to consideration: in noticing myself reacting as though someone were righteously condescending towards me while I was attempting to be considerate in relation to them, I realized that I had to step back for a moment and investigate what had gone wrong with my redefined application of the word, consideration.

As it turns out, I hadn’t really redefined “consideration” at all. Instead, I had just inserted that word into the definition of other words that I had redefined, which as far as the AI of the mind consciousness system was concerned, amounted to little more than an obstacle that it could simply go around - kind of like an “if this then perhaps that” program reroute...

Almost two weeks since I began writing this post and after writing out and discussing this point with another person, editing what I had written and writing some more, I still think I’m thinking a little two much into it - as though consideration has to be some magic formula or instruction to deprogram me with, instead of a kind of empathy wherein I imagine myself standing in the shoes of another for the purpose of deciding how best to relate to the other based on my understanding as well as my perception of where we are.

I guess that, consideration (of myself as well as another) simply involves self-honestly looking into me to see if and where I am participating in any form of judgment, letting go of those points of judgment for a moment to consider or imagine (as a form of empathy) how I might care to have someone stand in relation to me if I were standing in that person’s shoes.

Consideration:

●    Practically utilizing my mind consciousness system (as a form of empathy) to decide how best to stand in relation to others.

○    First, I look into me to see if and where I am holding onto and/or creating points of judgment and then I let go of that judgment.

○    Secondly, I empathize  or imagine myself standing in their shoes within and as the question, how would I care to be assisted and supported if I were standing in their shoes?

○    Finally, I physically stand as that point of consideration in relation to another/others; herein becoming the living word, consideration.

I’ll put this word to the test and report my results in a later blog post.