Monday, August 19, 2019

Dreaming of Potential



A couple nights ago, just before I was about to fall asleep, I asked the question, where am I now? Actually, it was more like a “Where the hell am I and what the hell am I doing here?” undercurrent experience of impatience or restlessness - kind of like the way an impatient child will ask  again and again, are we there yet, how much more time until we arrive? And with that question, I found myself looking at what appeared to be a somewhat spherical cloud-like shape floating in the center of me. As I paused for a moment to examine this thing, the point that I found most interesting and even somewhat concerning was its lack of any defining statement or position, like a nothingness just kind of floating in the center of me. I’m like, that’s it, there’s nothing more? And then I fell asleep and had a dream.


 
In the dream, I was on a bus with a group of people traveling through an area that reminded me of the countryside of parts of Central America. We had made a stop or something like that and somehow gotten involved with another group of people. Perhaps they were just locals, but in looking back, the scene reminds me of a rebel base in the fields with people who had lots of different kinds of guns that they would fire off occasionally just for fun.  As the night turned to dawn, some of us that hadn’t already left began heading back through the field, back to the bus I guess.

However, as we were climbing out of a small ravine onto the road, one of the people I was with put his weapon, like an Uzi submachine gun, but with a steel box attached to one side of it, out onto the road above him so that he could use both hands to hoist himself up onto the road. Thinking to myself, what the hell is he doing putting that weapon out there in plain sight, I said to him, “hey, what are you doing putting that thing out there for everyone to see?” At that same moment, a pickup truck screeched to a stop a half a meter in front of us as though to block any chance of escape.  As I looked around us at the bigger picture, I saw the entire area swarming with police or soldiers rounding people up. Immediately, I assessed the possibility of escape by visualizing two possible scenarios and even though my odds we’re very low, I knew from instinct that I had to go for it because it was probably the best chance would get. In other words, I knew that the best time to escape, when the odds for success are the highest, is always, always before you get captured. Then, I awoke.

And now after analyzing this dream again and again via many iterations of this post, I begin to see the significance of my question as well as the answer. The weapons symbolize the abusive use of words (the greatest creative force/power in existence used as weapons or swords to harm instead of tools in support of each one’s potential), wherein an aspect of me still fears abusing (as I have in the past) this tool that was specifically placed here for us to create with) or even accidently kind of messing things up. This is actually a point of self-trust that I’m working on or walking. It’s funny; it  just occurred to me, the reason I always want to scream out, “can’t you see the writing on the wall, right in front of us?” is of a desire to have others take responsibility where we fear to, which I guess is also a prominent point in most people’s personal processes. So I’m not going to go into my rant on the code of the words of the symbols of the sound of creation… Really though, if you look hard enough and investigate long enough, it’s so easy to see the deception as well as the extent to which we’ve separated ourselves from the source of ourselves to the point that it’s kind of scary, because no matter how often I rearrange the words, the deception in the form of symbols in formations of words sentencing me/us to that which we’ve created via the word is still right in front of me within and as the words I intend to write right. Hah! And this is why it’s not enough to just rearrange the words, why it’s also necessary to redefine them.

Moving on. As for the question, “what the hell am I doing here…” that I've often asked myself, while I don’t recall seeing very many cloud-like blobs, I  would answer it shortly in this way. I’m “here” and I’m also still “there” as a trinity of the mind/being/body universe in the process of understanding oneness, equality, what is best for all within and as my bubble of life/source/substance potential. It really is like the opportunity of a lifetime. Additionally, I would say that the cloudlike substance of blah or nothingness represents the source/substance of life within and as which we as beings of potential are able to design and birth ourselves as life anew.

It’s way cool because it’s like each one of us (equally as one creating the whole) have the unique opportunity to decide, as per each one’s design of self (via the process of self-creation) who/how each is going to stand going into this next stage, cycle, age (or whatever you wanna call it)  of existence. The thing is, I'm fairly certain that there’s a catch, like a firewall I guess you could say. I think Jesus referred to it as the eye of the needle. Just imagine what safeguards or failsafe requirements would have had to be designed into this existence (before in the beginning as “the word”) in order to ensure that no-one not standing equally for and as all the life of this existence would have too much access?  Even though Jesus referred to this point as getting through the eye of the needle (metaphorically speaking for people of a different era), I think we could perhaps update this metaphor in consideration of modern technology, automated intelligence and so on. 

In getting back to my dream, I guess I as life (except for this tiny speck or cloud of potential) do not really exist - at least not yet. And this is I also guess what I, as a possibility or potential of life was looking at, my state of evolution as life so to speak, as a potential of life. In short, the way I view where I am right now, is in the process of creating myself anew as life. Or at least attempting to create myself as a new (and improved) life form of an existence that we (as one) semi-automated a long time ago (going back perhaps to the origins of AI and consciousness as lifeforms of Automated Intelligence) so as to facilitate the creation process while also ensuring (as best we were able) that the life of existence as a whole would not be corrupted by (lol) rogue actors or programs - I guess you could say.

Well, I guess that last condition may not have worked out as well as planned. Or perhaps it did; either way, this is also why I guess additional contingencies were put into place to begin with before we entered into and as existence as a whole - before the beginning. I’ll write more on this, as from my perspective (of beginning to see/realize my own deceptions within and as my word) it really isn’t a secret anymore, nor do I think this point should ever again be. Have a look. In order to see what was as who or how we have been since the beginning of and as “the word”, look no further than what is as who or how we still are as the words we are still using (often without understanding) to create with. For the most part, I guess only the pictures have changed.  Yet, as I see it, this is now changing, too - for the better, maybe.

So in getting back, back to my dream, as the dream has only to do with my perspective, the fact that there were so many weapons (or harmful words) and that the last part of my dream entailed me going into escape mode tells me (in short) that I’m still not yet ready to hatch into and as life. Not because I don’t want to, but because I have not yet proven to myself (as the gatekeeper of my very own eye of the needle) beyond a shadow of a doubt that I (as I am currently standing) am worthy of standing equally as one with all life (with complete access to all life). It always comes back to self-trust because this is the one place from which no one is able to hide - ourselves. I am working on this point and I’m glad to see that I as various forms of awareness are cooperating much better than before, essentially I guess in the process of  understanding what is here and standing in all ways as is best for all - every awareness, everywhere.    

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