Breathing in the Benefits of Self Trust

I’ve been noticing a strange thing. Sometimes when I’m moving around the house or my apartment, I’ll get to a place that I’m walking to and suddenly not recall what I walked there to do. This isn’t the strange part though, because I’ve actually been doing this occasionally for as long as I can remember. What’s strange or should I say kind of new is that I’ve also begun to notice in such moments, that I have essentially two choices. One is to activate my mind, which always seems to be up in the right side of my head for some reason eagerly waiting for me give it the go ahead, and the other is to simply stop for a moment and breathe. Usually by the second breath, that which I had set out to do will appear as a word, image or a knowing more in the center of my upper body, slightly in front of me. Surprisingly, it takes quite a lot of self trust to do this and although I use the word, “simply” when referring to what is actually a movement of stopping for a moment - lol, it still requires practice and some getting used to. It’s kind of like really wanting to go for a short walk without your smartphone, but also really not wanting to risk being without it.

In noticing this and practicing it, I’ve also begun to realize some interesting aspects and benefits to applying self trust in moments by simply breathing it in, rather than looking to the mind to solve problems. For example,  last Sunday, in hanging out in my apartment, I had got up to get some tape out of a cabinet drawer, but by the time I got to the cabinet, the image of that which I was looking for was no longer up front in my mind. Of course in that moment, I knew that I could simply direct more energy or resources to my mind to go back and retrace my thoughts/steps, but instead I simply took an in breath, breathed out and by the next in-breath, I knew what I was looking for. The thing is that this time the solution or answer was a knowing rather than a return of energetic based images.

What’s the difference? Well, by initiating a search in my mind (essentially asking my body computer to “return” to me my reasoning for walking to the cabinet in the first place, I’m also agreeing to allow my mind consciousness system to resource from my physical body the energy necessary to carry out the processes to fulfill that request. It’s kind of like the difference between leaving lights on in the house or turning them off to save electricity. Although leaving them on for a short time doesn’t seem to cost that much, over time, it adds up.

In the past, I wasn’t so concerned with the amount of energy or physical resources that I was consuming of my body to run my mind. However, as I’ve been getting older (55 this month) and looking into myself more, I’ve also begun noticing the effects that thinking and storing memories has on my body. Little aches and sometimes big pains seem much more prevalent these days. For example, when it comes philosophising or thinking about existence, what is here and who I am in relation to it, I’d say that I’m kind of an expert. Meaning that I used to go for days and days, thinking about and writing out so many pages of theories based on information that I literally pulled out of myself. Yes, I’ve found that if I push or pull hard enough, I’m able to pull up information on just about anything.

The only problem I also found that the process of pulling the information out of me can be quite painful and tiring.  It just now occurs to me that, perhaps the reason it’s often been so tiring for me to pull up information out of me is because I’ve been using my mind as a tool rather than simply trusting myself and then breathing in the benefits. This could turn out to be so much cooler than just remembering that I needed some tape from the drawer. Thus I’m going to experiment some more.