Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Fear of Authority = a Lack of Self Trust

Authority is a point that I’ve been working on for a long time now. I have been making progress, lots of progress. However, I’ve once again come to realize that there are parts of me that this point is created of, that I’ve not yet completely dealt with. I’m not even sure where the fear of authority comes from, I only know that I’ve always feared being caught up or entangled in such lines.

These days, even though time seems to slowing, so much still seems to be happening - even in such a short time. While I still seem to be dealing with so many points.  As soon as I think I’ve dealt with one point, another one pops up and sometimes it’s actually of the same point. I’m not complaining though, for that would just be another point that I would have to deal with. Instead I let go of the desire to complain, cry or blame, and I just keep on walking my process from consciousness to awareness, often falling, yet always getting up and occasionally remembering to look back and say thank you to all that made it possible and plausible for me to walk through such points - even if I have not yet completely seen  them all through.

In terms of the point of authority (over me), I’ve been whittling it down, line by line to see, realize and understand that everything,  without exception, always eventually comes back to me. For example, wherein  I once viewed many of the situations that I gotten myself into, as though I were the one being victimized, I now begin to see through a different set of eyes, the physical eyes of self-creation, wherein everything that I am able to view (in the physical reality) is actually a point self-responsibility. Believe it or not, this way of looking at things, actually simplifies things tremendously. For example, when it comes to self-responsibility, I no longer feel the need to sift through all of the event lines in order to decide which ones are my responsibility and which ones  I can cast onto another by pointing my finger in blame. Instead, I now accept responsibility for them all. I know that this might sound really crappy to some; however, in taking self-responsibility for everything, I not only give myself the power to change myself in every way in relation to everything, but I also give myself the authority to do so.

Here is an important key that I now begin to understand in relation to changing myself. Specifically (as it relates to authority), in fearing authority, I have actually been fearing myself for lack of enough self trust to place in my hands alone, complet responsibility for who I am or how I stand in relation to everything else. Thus, the point that I had once believed was a fear of authority has actually always been a fear of taking self responsibility, for a lack of self trust = a fear of myself. Herein, I now see, realize and understand that the real point that I require to work on and develop is that of self trust.

When and as I find myself thinking about the future (in fear of the future), I commit to bring all points back to myself and, in taking complete responsibility always for who I am and who I will be, I commit to gift unto myself absolute self trust.

For more on the subject of authority, check out

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