Monday, May 21, 2018

Continuing with Emotions

A common theme throughout my life has been my ability to bring out or elicit the best and the worst in people. I guess I would call it one of my talents; however, as with all gifts or talents, there is also  self-responsibility that comes with it. As this point applies to me, what I had been noticing in the past (in working with this point) was that whenever a person started getting emotional towards me or a subject that we’re discussing, my first inclination would be to antagonize so as to elicit more emotion, almost as though I was saying, if that’s the way you want to play, then so be it, you’re just going to explode.

In addressing this point and deciding to change myself in relation to it, instead of eliciting more and more emotion, I’ve gradually begun pulling back in such situations, controlling the pressure if you will, yet not solving the issues nor even assisting and supporting myself or another - which is what I am determined to learn how to do. Honestly, it’s been trial and error for me. For example, the last time I was in front of someone who started getting emotional, I tried to point out to that person the emotion that was being created and how it was important to slow down and breathe a little before continuing the discussion. The problem with this approach was that by not backing off myself, I was not giving that person the necessary space to slow down and breathe. Instead, I was in playing psychologist from a point of righteousness, I was actually reacting and contributing the emotional buildup.

Thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to other people’s emotions by by attempting to slow down the build up in them, therein projecting onto them blame instead of taking responsibility for myself by stepping back, breathing and giving us both the necessary space, assistance and support to slow down. Herein, I now see, realize and understand that, to really assist and support another during emotional outbursts sometimes requires stepping back to give that person some breathing space while also dealing with any emotions that may be coming up within and as myself. Thus, the next time I find myself face to face with an emotional person, I commit to step back for a moment to give that person and myself so breathing room for both of us to stabilize ourselves. Furthermore, I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to judge anyone’s emotions instead of immediately looking into me to see if and where I am reacting so as to correct/change so as to stand as an example rather than an agitator.

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