I have been noticing some changes in my mind consciousness system that I guess I should record - for the record. About 3-4 weeks ago, I began noticing some strange occurrences or perspectives. The first one has to do with time. It seemed to slow down to a crawl and for a while I kept thinking different days were days ahead of where they actually were. I’m not sure what brought on this memory lapse or forgetfulness. Perhaps it had a lot to do with the stress that I was going through at the time. Either way, as I was walking through those points, I also became aware of a large buildup of energy throughout my body. I seemed as though the energy was filling up my body to my forehead where I experienced a lot of pressure and heat. While all this was going on, I also noticed that I was becoming very irritable and sometimes argumentative. As I became more aware of these strange happenings in my mind/body relationship, I also stepped up my guard on my thoughts and my interactions with others so not to fall into (another) energetic possession.
As the days went by, I was in deed able to restore a degree of self-directedness. However, I also realized that something had changed in me. As I was speaking with my partner and others, I listened to my voice tonality and I observed how I was experiencing myself. Whereas over the past couple of years, I had been making progress in determining the tonality of my words, how I express and/or experience myself in relation to others, I suddenly noticed that my sound/physical interaction with others was stale - for lack of a better word. It is as though all of the changes (especially in terms of caring) that I have been directing and pushing myself to be and become had suddenly reverted back to square one, as though my mind had erased all of the new lines that I had written and rebooted to where I had been before I started this process - from consciousness to awareness.
Thankfully, even though the changes that I had been inputting into my mind consciousness system and walking physically to change my nature appear to have been deleted (for lack of a better word), I still retain the knowledge of the tools of self-change and the determination to continue changing myself. Additionally and perhaps most importantly, I remember how through changing the tonality of my words, how much more I had enjoyed myself in relation to others. In short, there is no way I’m going back to that staleness.
Listening to the staleness, disconnected, distant and uncaring sound in which I had begun to speak and relate to others for a very short time during these recent times disgusted me - to put it simply. Herein I realize that, even if my mind reboots a thousand times and even if I get caught up and possessed by it, I am always able to stand back up and continue walking to change myself as I care to be and become - and this is what I am doing, step by step.
In looking at this point, I am not one hundred percent sure what has been going on with me. My guess is that my mind just rebooted. For more on this topic, I’m going re listen to this Eqafe interview: Introducing Energy Keeping Systems & Your Awareness - Quantum Mind Self Awareness.