Animals in my Dreams

Sometimes, sleep can be a nice and restful and sometimes it can be a struggle. There’s always something to learn though. The key to working with dreams, I think, is to understand that no matter what you see or where you seem to be in the dream, everyone, everywhere is always a part of you - which perhaps simply requires embracing. Lately in my dreams, it seems I’ve mostly just been running away from something, fighting when trapped and harming that which was asking for attention.

Last night, it was once again as though the programs inside of me in their suits and uniforms were out to get me. In recalling the memories of wandering through the crowded streets of people, apartment buildings and sometimes empty corridors, I wonder why some programs would define (or that particular perception point of me) as a threat in my own dream. Sometimes, in not recognizing me as a target, they would just ignore me. But as soon as I started speaking (just to make conversation), their attitudes seemed to change and I suddenly become a target. Metaphorically speaking, it was like, in their world, I was the virus and they were the antibodies. 

Searching for a safe place, the place where I was supposed to be or the place where my friends were,  I ran when I could, fought when I was trapped, but even the kind looking old lady that I thought would help me seemed only to want to hack me with an ax.

Switch scenes to another dream, perhaps another day; I’m trying to get out of somewhere, some kind of apartment or compartment. However, as soon as I’m outside the door, there’s someone in front of me handing me a huge black salamander. The salamander takes my arm in its mouth and even though it’s not hurting me, I’m frightened and I want to get away, but it seems to want me to stay. In fear, I ended up crushing the salamander in my hand. Thankfully though, I awoke with the memory still intact soas to consider the message.

According to Salamander Dream Meaning and Interpretations - Dream Stop:  the salamander is a water dweller and brings messages of emotions, spirituality, and how to move easily through the challenges you meet. She may come to ask if you use your time wisely. ... Salamander's appearance in your dreams is a message of transformation.

In that same dream, as I recall, I was once again attempting to get out of a room or compartment. As I walked out, a lion was there looking at me. I seemed to not want me to leave and it took part of my arm in its mouth. Sadly once again, as I did with the salamander, I also ended up hurting the lion in order to escape. On this note, although a part of me is saddened by the thought of hurting those animal representations within me, I also realize (by now) that different parts of me are actually communicating with one another in these dreams. And as all of me understand when it comes to dream symbolism, that I’ll simply type it into Google, it does make sense to use symbols that I care about.

To see a lion in your dream can symbolize strength, courage, assertiveness, and power. Lions can represent predatory feelings deep inside of you such as aggression, that is directed at people around you. ... Lions are considered the king of the jungle and represent authority over others. Source: Lion Dream Interpretation and Meaning - Dream Stop. For me this means that I’ve been suppressing aggression, specifically when it comes to speaking out on a certain topic to certain people - weighing on me a lot as of late.

And to finish off this post, there was a dog dream. As per  Dreams About Dogs – Meaning and Interpretation: A dog in a dream is a sign of self – defense. ... Dogs in dreams are a symbol of loyalty, protection, fidelity and intuition. This dream might symbolize you or someone close to you who has these qualities. Sometimes a dream about dogs indicates some forgotten or ignored talents you have.

Use my time wisely, transforming myself, suppressed aggression…?  I affectionately like to think of myself as Turtlewalker, wisely moving at a turtle’s pace, determined to eventually realize my destination, yet careful not to create expectations as to what my destination is or when I’ll get there. Dream translation: get off your ass and face these issues Thomas and use your ability with words to speak out from a starting point of honor, respect and integrity to get your process moving once again.

Symbols and signs, it’s amazing what you can find. The key, I guess is to determine where to focus and what to focus on. And on that note, after having done exactly that (including finishing this post), I noticed last night before going to sleep how I’ve just recently decided to begin looking closely into “the pain” of positive energies - which is kind of new for me.

Continuing to Work on Points that I've been Working of for several Years

Although I would prefer to write about fun subjects, such as the location and shape of Earth, the heart of existence, the design of existence, the merging of sound substance and energy, the programming code of existence, sound/energy physical symbolism of words, the design and purpose of consciousness, and the wonders of what may be beyond our sound file, as the chronicles of this sound existence, my understanding of the above points (as well as my ability to write them out) unfortunately seems to be correlated with the movement of my personal process of standing equally as one with what is here. Which is to basically say that my personal process (from the within to the without) apparently proceeds my understanding of all of the above.

So here goes. The legal case that’s been going on for about 5-6 years, involving the house that my partner and I purchased 16 years ago has moved into a new phase. Unfortunately, our roof is now being torn off of our home and is going to be replaced with another less expensive and perhaps lower quality type of tile. The thing is that, instead of simply having the roof tiles replaced as the other homes did five years ago, the person pushing the suit against us in the community (who apparently has a lot of control within the community) has somehow set it up with the community, the local government and the roof company to far exceed the legal mandate. So that not only are they going to tear down our roof, they’re also going to tear down part of our next door neighbour’s roof and they’re now saying we have to pay four and a half times the normal marked rate. Being on the receiving end of punishment for daring to question the status quo is not fun at all. Though perhaps it is a lesson that I will learn from and maybe benefit by walking through.

All told, that means instead of getting a bill for about six thousand dollars, we could end up actually being ordered to pay about twenty-six thousand dollars. Obviously (from my perspective) we pissed some people off; the thing is all we did was exercise our legal rights to “legally” challenge what we viewed to be an infringement on our rights as homeowners in the first place. And for our defiance and perseverance, we were targeted, and of course we in return we also targeted them with legal action. That being said, whenever I ask myself, whether or not I would go back and change everything if I could, my answer strangely enough is always no because all that has been, all that I have walked through, including the bad experiences up to the present assisted me in so many ways to change.

Thus, instead of bowing my head and feeling sorry for myself, I’m out there every 15 or 20 minutes taking pictures and video that may eventually be used as evidence. In seeing under our tile, as I have said all along, it’s absolutely clear to me that our tile was in excellent condition and would have lasted another fifty or more years. Regardless of whether or not we are successful with our legal cases, we’re going to see them through to the finish. In reality, this means that even though I have been wanting to sell and move out of this house for several years, we’re probably not going anywhere for awhile and we’ll perhaps also have at least another two more years of legal challenges and perhaps 4-5 more legal cases (added to the ten or so already processed). I always used to wonder what it would be like being one of those people that had to deal with so many legal cases. Now I kind of have an idea and thankfully it’s my partner who’s the estudious law student. She is one of those kinds of people who don’t run away and never give up. And by the way (for the record), having inspected (to see the underside of the roof) and taken lots of pictures of the removal of our roof, I am able to once against state with certainty that our roof was in “excellent” condition up until the moment they began ripping it off.

So what exactly is my internal problem that I’m facing in all of this, the problem that I feel the need to write out and corrected by changing myself? No, it’s not that the system isn’t fair, even though that is a major problem that needs to and is being addressed worldwide. It is that I’m still judging myself to an extent and projecting that judgment onto what I call “the opposition” as being a corrupt liar, cheater and a pathological thief who seems to just keep getting away with it. For example, even if the courts eventually decide that we only have to pay the marked price (as is clearly stipulated by law), the community may still end up having to pay the money out because they gave that one person the authority to handle this and so many other matters. Wherein the corrupt guy can then turn around and get his kickbacks from everyone that got payouts. It fascinates me how so many don’t seem to see this or just don’t seem to care. Which is I guess a story for another post.

On a slightly lighter note, I will say that even though I feel as though my hands are somewhat tied in this matter, after repeatedly checking into myself (as a matter of respect), I am able to say that I feel no desire whatsoever to go out and settle this man to man so to speak, which I will thankfully add as a point wherein I have in thought, word and deed changed in a very important way. Additionally, although I woke up this morning (now yesterday morning) with emotional energy churning in my stomach, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, certainly not as bad in relation to similar past experiences. And then while laying in bed this morning and noticing those exact same energetic processes innocuously  begin slipping building up, I immediately said “Not this time, no way! And I I stopped the emotional processes. Yes, unfortunately, there still is a tightness in my stomach this morning on the third day of the ripoff of my roof, which is why I’m still writing on this subject today.

On a side note, from my perspective, this kind of battle (that my partner are facing on a much smaller scale) is very similar to what is occurring around the world between those pushing for change utilizing the rule of law and those of the corrupt old system attempting to hold on to the corrupt ways of the past. And this is one of the reasons that I am determined to see this point through. This is in my view the direction of push for change that we all are able to push for keeping within and applying the rule of law to stand up for the rights of ourselves as well as others in the process of eventually changing the rules of the system on the path to completely retasking the system itself to stand (as a form of life) equally as one with all life, as is best for all. However, that is also part of another topic, too.

Sometimes when facing difficult points, I ask myself how I would like to review or remember myself standing when I look back at this point at various moments in the future - as a memory point that I occasionally set to review at a later time. After all, this is a point I’m facing in relation to the system and my being able to coexist with different types of people (as just one of many life forms) equally as one with them, as is best for all of us. At this point in my personal process, the question becomes, how well am I really living the words that I’ve redefined, such as respect, honor, integrity, care, consideration and so? Honestly, I’m still judging some as being courageous, some as cowardly, intelligent, a mental blob and so on - lol. So, I do still have plenty of processes to process out of myself as points to change to a standing that is best for all, and I commit to do exactly that until this process is done and everyone is standing equally as one, as is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and thereby tie my self-expression to my definitions of the external reality of my home, neighbours and the world system (especially the legal system), thereby accepting and allowing myself to be moved by my definitions of the external reality instead of living the word respect by bringing all judgments of what is really happening here back to myself, letting go of all judgements and/or definitions so as to clearly see and face what is physically here and then stably walk through the system of the external reality by responding (instead of reacting) only to that which I require to address and physically respond to. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself being attacked by others using the system to their advantage, thereby creating a point of blame within and as myself in relation to the world system, thereby tying myself to the system rather than looking inwords at how I define myself in relation to the system and change myself from within so as to no longer be defined by the without of the system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being victimized as though I were being unfairly attacked rather than simply being tasked with having to face points that I myself opened up by refusing to go along with the rest of the community simply because I didn’t agree with them. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what really happens in the external environment in terms of positive or negative definitions, thereby creating an external reality based on judgments and definitions of what is really here rather than letting go of the definitions/judgments altogether so as to simply face what is real (as in what will remain) and respond to it as best I am able. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being in danger of losing the war by being at risk of having to pay out punitive costs (as though such a payout would cause me to lose my dignity) rather than see, realize and understand that when it’s all said and done, the ups and downs of energy/emotion were nothing but that, leaving me far better off by only focusing on who/how I am in relation to this point. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being helpless to protect my home, therein judging my home as being destroyed rather than seeing, realizing and understanding what’s really happening - tiles being replaced with tiles, nothing lost except for the monetary value I place on the money. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being at risk of losing thousands of dollars rather than seeing, realizing and understanding that as long as I am still here, nothing that’s real can actually be lost. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  play the energy game of wanting to be a winner instead of remaining stable and focusing only what what is really, physically happening here = without attaching energetic definitions to what I see. When and as I find myself thinking that I’m losing a battle that I defined as being a worthy fight, I commit to stop, breathe and embrace to live the word eternal, wherein stand now as I would have myself standing a thousand years from now regardless of where I am, completely stable to see/hear and respond as best I am able to what is real and will remain. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what’s happening now, the tearing down of our roof as well as part of the neighbour’s roof, as another attack for which I’ll have no recourse, rather than seeing it for what it represents, having to pay a little money or a lot of money, a new roof and additional cases for my partner to practice her legal skills.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on my imagination of good and bad possibilities rather than that which is really here that I really require to deal with  in order to walk my personal process of self-change for the better. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as though I’m being abused and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, rather than seeing, realizing and understanding the plain and simple truth that I am still here and nothing harmful has actually been done unto me. From this point, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to embody a mode of impatience rather than patience and commitment to see this case through to the finish - as part of my personal process.

Nature, the Animal Kingdom and my Process in Relation to Them

Talk to the animals, walk with the animals… It’s a song from my childhood that was the first thing that came up when considering my relationship with animals and nature since I began walking with Desteni. For those who may be reading this now or in the future, Desteni is simply an expanding group of people who have realized or are in the process of realizing that in order to change the world and existence as a whole for the betterment of all, the only way to do it is by aligning ourselves to the principles of equality, oneness and what is best for all and changing ourselves one by one in relation to all things and everyone - herein changing existence as a whole. Overall, I’d say that this process within which many are participating is progressing faster than I had anticipated. However, today I’m just going to focus on how my relationship with nature and the animal kingdom has changed since I began walking the Desteni process.

In searching my memories for an overall assessment of my relationship with nature and animals,  I would have to say, even as a child I felt a certain connection with animals. Meaning that I would talk to them, try to get closer to them and understand them. In return, they would often, quite often, abnormally often, lol, bite me, sting me, kick me - anything along those lines. Whatever animals could do to a person in an attempt to get that person out of their sphere, they seemed to do it or at least try to do it to me. And all I wanted to do was love them or sometimes throw rocks at them if they were bees so that they would chase me. I’ve been bitten by so many dogs that I stopped counting. I’ve been bitten by a horse - just for trying to feed him. I’ve been bitten by gerbils, mice, guinea pigs, birds and even shellfish. I was stung on the nose by a tiny fly in Mexico that was so painful I wanted to cry. I even got bit on the inside of my nose by a dog. There was so much blood. And really, except for the bees, wasps and honeybees that I just wanted to tease and the cockroaches that I wanted to sent a message to (by stomping on them), for the most part, I really did just want to love and understand all things.

What I came to realize about my relationship with animals, even before I began process was that, even though I just wanted to connect with the animals, my starting point, in addition to wanting to love them, contained a certain amount of fear, which most animals would simply reflect back to me. In looking back at those days, I see the point of innocence that came thought in everything I did was also tainted with fear. I lost sight of that innocence somewhere along the line and replaced it with its opposite polarity and to this day I consider the loss of innocence of so many children brought into this world to be humanity’s biggest loss. That’s another story, which also connects somewhat with my personal process (in relation to nature and the animal kingdom), which for me really is a process of returning to a state of innocence, innocence redefined and lived as an expression of humbleness emanating from self trust.

Getting back to the animals and nature. They don’t seem to want to bite me anymore and I don’t even have a problem walking through swarms of bees. I while back, I even rescued one of those giant african wasps that a friend had just smacked out of the air - because he was scared. I told him to relax as I picked up the wasp from a puddle it had landed in. I blew it dry until it seemed Ok, enough to fly away, which it did. See, what I realize now about my relation to animals is that, as a human, I have the responsibility for changing who I am in relation to animals, not the other way around. Animals, insects, the fish, the birds and the bees were not the ones that embarked on a mission to exterminate humans. It’s us who have abused them; therefore, it is us who require to change our relationship to them.

Thus, I continue to talk to or communicate with animals, all kinds of animals, every opportunity I get. For example, when I see a fly  or a bee is trapped in my house, I talk to it, tell it how I’m going to open the window or door so that it can fly out and then I do just that. When it flies out, I pat myself on the back and say, good work communicating with the animals. Sometimes if it doesn’t fly out, I tell myself that it just decided to stay in. Either way, I do communicate with them and not always in words. For example, many domesticated dogs and humans alike are quite able to communicate with us and one another via physical movements and/or expressions. I guess I would say that spiders intrigue me the most. For them, I prefer to use a form of presence in which to communicate. For they (which is also for me), I open a door or window so that they can go out or stay in as they choose. One time, I communicated with some spiders (mostly by not being threatening or threatened by them). The next day as I entered the kitchen, I noticed a giant (I guess) female  spider just above me to the left, just kind of watching me. Nowadays, I’m fine with them coming and going as they please. After all, they do seem to manage the bug population in the house. There’s a short history of the existential role and emergence of the spider, The Consciousness of a Spider, available on Eqafe, along with so much more information about existence and other animals, how they emerged into existence and the role that they’re now standing as.

So to sum up my relationship with animals and nature, since I began process, I would say that, in better  understanding that everything is aware and in the process of aligning to the principles of oneness, equality and what is best for all, I’ve come to be much more considerate of nature and the animal kingdom. It doesn’t matter to me that animals and nature don’t speak in words back to me. What matters to me is that I continue to push myself to understand and communicate with them, eventually to understand myself equally as one with them. And on top of it all, I haven’t been bitten or stung in a long time.