gOaLs

Recently when someone mentioned “becoming more goal oriented” to me, I thought to myself, how can I become more goal orientated when I don’t really even have any goals? Of course, I’ve got the standard stuff that I’d like to see, such as world peace, an education system that actually educates to the benefit of students rather than brainwashing and indoctrinating them, governments that really are of the people by the people and for everyone, a world free of GMOs, pesticides and pharmaceutical toxins, clean oceans, rivers and lakes, an equal money system, all beings coexisting in harmony with one another and of course unobstructed interstellar access for all.

So here I am back to this idea of becoming more goal oriented, which I agree is a point that I’m able and ready now to utilize in order to keep moving so to speak. Because even though I am still in the process of solidifying into and as a way of living the goals that I set some years ago as process points of self-change, I realize that I have indeed accomplished these goals to the extent that I am essentially in the living phase of manifesting or solidifying them into and as the substance of what I am.

An interesting note here that just came up has to do with the key to actually solidifying self- change. Even though I’ve essentially deactivated so many lines of programming (that had been running my life) and rewritten so many new lines of instructions as a guide for me to live, I still require to remain here directing myself in every moment. It’s kind of like driving a car through crowded city streets, even one lapse of focus can end in catastrophe.

For example, yesterday while in class with a group of first year students, I noticed them looking at me with these “what the hell is he talking about” expressions on their faces. With a classroom computer not working, an air conditioning that wouldn’t turn on and me just wanting to get the hell out of there for the three day holiday weekend, I ended up going into an energetic-mind hurry mode which apparently also opened the door for an irritation goo to ooze its way up around me. I could see that goo coming up, yet instead of just stopping, breathing and clearing myself of it, I continued to hurry.

Suddenly there like an ether inside of me and all around me and in that moment (in like quantum time), I was inside of myself looking at this dark gray fog  that had  already filled the space of my body and was ready to ignite “in anger.” Then in that same moment (that was almost like existence giving me a breath) of looking inside of me, I simply stated as movement or shift “NO” and I was once again looking on the outside of me, this time with the intention to slow down. This time, I just started speaking Chinese and suddenly (lol) the faces of these new students softened with relief. It turns out that most of them simply had no idea what I was saying. The moral of the story: by accepting and allowing myself to go into an energetic hurry mode, I had also abdicated my self-directedness to an extent, which opened the door for more problems to creep in - showing me once again the importance of remaining here, breathing all of the time. Honestly, I think it was the whales that helped me out in this case. Thank you whales.

So getting back to becoming more goal oriented, aside from the main ones, like remaining self-directed, here all of the time, for which I still require to remain vigilant all the time, I guess there are ways of living that I am curious about and would like to understand and change myself to become. For example, I wonder what it would be like to “enjoy” communicating  with people from the starting-point of really caring to see  who they are rather than simply assessing their personality designs as matters to be dealt with in a caring way. In other words, I would like to actually find everyone interesting, which I’m sure I’m able to do, because everyone is unique. And I’m certain that this point would be an honorable trait to add to the way I am because I’ve seen it in others whom I consider to be honorable for the way they appear to unconditionally focus their attention to others by way of listening to them, here to see them.

Okay, so this is the first goal: as a matter of self-creation, I’m going to push myself to “enjoy” communicating with people from the starting point of seeing who they really are by unconditionally focusing my attention to them by way of listening to them, here to see them when communicating with them. And I guess I’m able to do this in communication with everything. I think this is a cool goal; however, I probably need to specify it a little more.