Sounds within Sounds Without

Sometimes it feels like I’m on a roller coaster ride of outflows and side effects of mine. Take for instance my dreams. Recently, they’ve been oscillating between the types that I used to have as a child (and apparently still do) and those with more clearly defined symbolic significance or I guess I could just say symbolism. For example, for a while I had been having a lot of dreams about my family, including feelings of being left out and not counted or considered. Perhaps that comes to an extent from being in a family of six with no dad and a mom that I always felt I never got to see enough. Hence, one of the best times of my life, believe it or not was the year or so that I spent living with my mom a couple years after graduating university, working in the same company that she worked and commuting with her an hour each way to and from work. Anyway, in recognizing that these dreams were related to a point of indecision regarding going or not going to the USA this summer for a family reunion, I simply faced my uncertainties, made the decision to go and the dreams have dissipated, but not yet disappeared. Some points just have to be physically walked in real time.

While the symbolism of certain dreams is clear, other dreams seem not even of this reality. They are dreams I guess of my conscious perception of numerous levels or dimensions of reality - the point of me on different levels attempting to make sense of information. Imagine a world of information that doesn’t seem to abide by the boundaries of time and space. Imagine a world of constant movement of energy in formations (which I sometimes have picture interpretations for, but not always) moving along their pathways, always in my head and always making a racket or a symphony depending on how I look at it. I usually define it as a symphony. I guess it is simply the noise of millions, billions or trillions of neurons constantly firing. This morning while in awake in bed, I had a look for a moment at the scene in my head. It was like a bundle of clouds or fog filled with lightning hovering over the brain below. Add to this a high pitched ringing like millions of symbols (or those things they bang together in an orchestra, whatever they’re called) being struck together almost the same time, almost in sync but definitely not in harmony… and that’s what I hear every time I pause for even a moment to listen to the mechanics of what’s going inside of my head. But for the pumping of my heart determining the rhythm of the blood/information flow seemingly coordinating the entire flow of the noise of energies, I would probably define it as chaos inside of my head. Thankfully, as within so without, each of us have a heartbeat to keep the rhythm, like the rhythm of earth I guess. On a point that may be relevant, I was watching a YouTube video the other day of the sound of stars as received by radio telescopes. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but in looking back it occurred to me that the noise we hear within ourselves, inside of our heads is perhaps the same or similar - with a slightly different sound frequency signature or whatever you want to call it. Maybe! And for the investigative types, which I certainly am, you may want to have a look at the pictures that amateur astronomers are taking these days of stars. To me, they appear a lot different from what the misinformationists at NASA and the other so called space agencies have been providing us. The key point here has to do with the information provided in The Secret History of the Universe Series at Eqafe. It seems to me if memory serves me right (a big if), that what certain beings were describing of their view of existence, the circular shapes with light in the center surrounded by darkness surrounded by a membrane and so on or something like that may actually resemble what we call the stars. Maybe existence as it was is as it still is. And maybe what’s happening within each one of us is the same as the without in the stars surrounding us. Yea, it’s a lot of stuff to take in and consider, especially for the mind. So I’ll leave this here for now - with a plan to listen once again for the umpteenth time (a phrase I learned from my mama) to the secret history of the universe.

The funny thing is that when I look out there and question what it is that seems so far away (but apparently isn’t really that far away), I am certain, 100% that the answers are all right here within and as me, right here within and as my physical body. However, sometimes when I open my mouth to speak the words of understanding, there’s just this blank, as a part of me has been disconnected. Crazy! I’m like, where’s the rest of me.