I
wrote this about two weeks ago, but just got around to checking it (before
posting it - as part of a rule that I have regarding posting/uploading to the
internet. Although I usually begin my Saturday mornings with the Desteni I Process by writing self-forgiveness
and self-correction statements, which I will also often sound out or vocalize
in order to see and hear how my new designs fit into the overall composition of
myself in connection with environment - as me, today I’ve decided to share a
change that I noticed in relation my personal process or journey to life as I
often refer to it.
This
change has to do with the sound of my voice or more specifically the
frequencies of energy that I have often ended up intertwining with my words
(from the within to the without) whenever I participated in energetic
definitions within myself while attempting to speak out. A little over a year
ago, it seems I was writing about how I was getting better at noticing such
energies - as they would rise upwards within me, wherein just before the point
of connecting and intertwining (within my vocal cords) with my sound, I would
(as a preventive measure) essentially restrict or prevent those connections
from happening, so as to basically stabilize the sound of my words being
externalized.
Although
has been kind of like walking through life with guards on my shoulders always
watching for energies from the within of myself (as though they were attempting
to escape through my vocal cords by attaching themselves to the sound of the
words that I sounded out), I’ve become quite adept at walking day by day just
like that - to such an extent that I rarely
even notice the guards anymore except in the moments their assistance is
required to stabilize (to an extent) the sound I externalize as the words I
speak out. This method of placing guards to the exit points of the sounding of
my words hasn’t always been 100% successful; however, with persistence I’ve
noticed consistent improvement to the point of a possible change perhaps
occurring, like something beginning to solidify within and as myself.
For
example, a couple weeks ago while speaking to my partner, I noticed that even
though I was experiencing physical discomfort (like undercurrents of
frustration) in relation to her questions, the sounds that I was externalizing
in communication with her remained stable from the within to the without,
without me having to forcibly stabilize them. This was quite interesting
because as I was speaking without hesitation, while also noticing physical
discomfort within me, the sounds that were coming out of me remained calm or
stable - without me having to enforce that stability - like it was becoming a
natural expression. And although I’m not exactly sure what all this means, I’m
thinking that it is perhaps indicative of the process of real change, wherein
even though the system is still producing certain undercurrents within my
physical body, I’ve begun to change the nature of myself as the system to no
longer be so reactive or defined by such undercurrents. Perhaps, this is an
example of what is meant in relation to standing within and as the system while
not being of or moved by the system.
So,
while not being completely certain what this means, I am at least certain that
it represents progress within my process. Perhaps (for the most part) in
constantly and constantly no longer accepting and allowing certain programs of
the mind to function as they had in the past, I’ve begun literally to rewire
the functioning of the mind to specifications more aligned to equality, oneness
as what is best for all. The way I view it now is, having worked much of my way
through and taken responsibility to a large extent for my conscious mind, moving
into the subconscious, I’m now beginning to address and redefine the
undercurrent experiences as definitions and so on from… Let’s just say other
layers of mine/mind.
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