Recently, I initiated some life changes beyond what I had previously been focusing on in my overall process of changing myself. For the most part, these changes are in relation to better caring for my physical body. That being said, I have noticed a lot of beneficial changes, including the rings under my eyes lightening up a little and my eyes often seem to be open wider. This brings me to a point I spoke about in a vlog I did about a month ago. When I look into the mirror, into my eyes, I see me, a being deep down in there. However, it is like I am just there as a presence, aware. I do not see any drive or determination to do this or that; it is more like I am just there. This perplexes me to an extent because; I figured that, who I am as a being would be more assertive, rather than just standing there.
Honestly, in looking at this point, I wonder who is running this show. Sure, as a being, there is a certainty within and as me, but it seems to be patient one, content perhaps to watch as history unfolds. Who is in charge, I wonder. When I look into me, I do not see the internal drive so much as I do a certainty that has no fear of or regards for time, which brings me to the point of mind. As consciousness, I question everything, I search for answers and I push myself change me in so many ways. I just wonder why I as a being seem to move so slowly as though the story has already been written.
Who am I when I write? Am I the beingness or am I the mind? Perhaps I am both and of course, I am the physical body, too, or is that now, three cooperating as one? I guess this is what I get when I look into the mirror at me. I am not sure exactly who is speaking right now; however, I am certain that, it is time for the one inside of me to wake up.