Recently, I initiated some life changes beyond what I had
previously been focusing on in my overall process of changing myself. For the
most part, these changes are in relation to better caring for my physical body.
That being said, I have noticed a lot of beneficial changes, including the
rings under my eyes lightening up a little and my eyes often seem to be open
wider. This brings me to a point I spoke about in a vlog I did about a month
ago. When I look into the mirror, into my eyes, I see me, a being deep down in
there. However, it is like I am just there as a presence, aware. I do not see
any drive or determination to do this or that; it is more like I am just there.
This perplexes me to an extent because; I figured that, who I am as a being
would be more assertive, rather than just standing there.
Honestly, in looking at this point, I wonder who is running
this show. Sure, as a being, there is a certainty within and as me, but it
seems to be patient one, content perhaps to watch as history unfolds. Who is in
charge, I wonder. When I look into me, I do not see the internal drive so much as I do a
certainty that has no fear of or regards for time, which brings me to the point
of mind. As consciousness, I question everything, I search for answers and I
push myself change me in so many ways. I just wonder why I as a being seem to
move so slowly as though the story has already been written.
Who am I when I write? Am I the beingness or am I the mind?
Perhaps I am both and of course, I am the physical body, too, or is that now,
three cooperating as one? I guess this is what I get when I look into the mirror at me. I am not
sure exactly who is speaking right now; however, I am certain that, it is time
for the one inside of me to wake up.
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