If
you don’t mind, I’d like to ramble for a little while. You see the problem I sometime
have has to do expectations of myself in relation to all of me. When I decide
to write about something, a subject or topic of that which I think has significance,
that which I should open up for consideration to understand and address, I also often begin to place
expectations on myself. Why? Because I am certain that I am able to write so specifically that all the words resonate within existence
as if they were of the wand of a magician casting magic spells to right me to
right the world. Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may still be, I have
yet to perfect my magic skills. Instead what often happens is judgment comes
out as to what I lack in perfection of the connection of words to me and
everyone else. Herein, perhaps it is for me to stop trying save the world (read
stop trying to impress upon the world my definitions of how we all should be)
and simply focus on myself from within, without judgments or expectations. Hence my idea to title more of these writings, Ramblings, which I guess is also just another outflow of self-judgment wherein I'm attempting to lower the expectations of myself in relation to everyone else so as to just be myself, lol.
From
the words above, it’s clear to me that I’ve imprinted within me lines of
judgment and expectations of what should be written and how I should write/right
it. I also realize that these are merely lines of code embedded into and as me,
a being with a mind consciousness system currently merged into and as a human
physical body. This concept (if you
will) is perhaps very difficult for many people to understand, that I/we, I
guess all of humanity are basically little more than organic robots each pretending
to live a life of some-body without seeing, realizing or understanding what it
is that every-body has already become, preprogrammed organic robots.
In
relation to these judgments and expatiations of my/mine/mind: as they are only
lines of code (as in the program by which I’ve defined me), I am indeed able to
write them out so to (as the programmer) see my program’s code so to then delete
the lines that are not what is best for all, and then rewrite those lines in
consideration of what is best for all, which is of course also what is best for
me. This is a secret that should never have been a secret. Even as organic
robots (imbedded with mind consciousness systems) called human beings, we as
beings of life are able to change our programs, thereby changing who we “think” we
are to who we care to be and become - which is simply our physical standings in relation to one another and all. In other words, within and as every
human being’s mind consciousness system's programming language is the command prompt that, in the English
language is simply call Self-Forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness
in terms of the command prompt of the programming language of human beings is
to put it simply, a programming command for the purpose of deleting lines of
code such as the lines by which we’ve defined ourselves as personalities of more
or less in separation of one another instead of equally as one with each other and all. For
example have a look at the expectations that I’ve projected onto those who read
my writings. They are but self-judgments by which I’ve defined myself (in fear
of others) by imagining what you will think of me when you realize that I just
exposed myself as being less than perfect. It’s a tangled web of definitions by which I have
defined myself in relation to all throughout existence – every definition as a
line of programming code by which I have separated myself from life due to not
realizing that words that I hold onto but do not physically stand as one with and equal to all life are but lines of code of the program of an organic robot. Herein
to delete these judgments one by one, I will execute the following lines of
code:
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others think of me in relation to the words I write, fearing in my imagination their imagination of me. Herein, I now see, realize and understand that my imagination of what others think of me is actually what I think of myself, self-judgments as definitions of being more or less than others, basically a form of insecurity.
- When and as I find myself judging my writing as right or wrong, good or bad in the eyes of others, basically projecting my imagination onto others, I commit myself to take a few breaths and bring all these points back to me so to give unto myself the ability to – in seeing the lines of code by which I’ve defined me unequally in relation to others/all, rewrite these lines to words that I am able to stand as and live equally in relation to all, in living words.
Honestly,
I do feel as though I’ve released myself of a slight burden, but this is only
one or two lines of perhaps billions or gazillions (who knows?) of lines of
code that I require to correct to rewrite to create me to live to my potential.
In me determining to right me by rewriting the lines of code with corrections
that I am now able to use as a guideline of how to walk the correction again
and again until I’ve completely overwritten it to the point of physically
standing as the correction, I am creating me as the life I care to become which
also happens to be the life I would have all be unto me. See, within the sea of
life, even robots are able to create themselves/ourselves as life.
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