If you don’t mind, I’d like to ramble for a little while. You see the problem I sometime have has to do expectations of myself in relation to all of me. When I decide to write about something, a subject or topic of that which I think has significance, that which I should open up for consideration to understand and address, I also often begin to place expectations on myself. Why? Because I am certain that I am able to write so specifically that all the words resonate within existence as if they were of the wand of a magician casting magic spells to right me to right the world. Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may still be, I have yet to perfect my magic skills. Instead what often happens is judgment comes out as to what I lack in perfection of the connection of words to me and everyone else. Herein, perhaps it is for me to stop trying save the world (read stop trying to impress upon the world my definitions of how we all should be) and simply focus on myself from within, without judgments or expectations. Hence my idea to title more of these writings, Ramblings, which I guess is also just another outflow of self-judgment wherein I'm attempting to lower the expectations of myself in relation to everyone else so as to just be myself, lol.
From the words above, it’s clear to me that I’ve imprinted within me lines of judgment and expectations of what should be written and how I should write/right it. I also realize that these are merely lines of code embedded into and as me, a being with a mind consciousness system currently merged into and as a human physical body. This concept (if you will) is perhaps very difficult for many people to understand, that I/we, I guess all of humanity are basically little more than organic robots each pretending to live a life of some-body without seeing, realizing or understanding what it is that every-body has already become, preprogrammed organic robots.
In relation to these judgments and expatiations of my/mine/mind: as they are only lines of code (as in the program by which I’ve defined me), I am indeed able to write them out so to (as the programmer) see my program’s code so to then delete the lines that are not what is best for all, and then rewrite those lines in consideration of what is best for all, which is of course also what is best for me. This is a secret that should never have been a secret. Even as organic robots (imbedded with mind consciousness systems) called human beings, we as beings of life are able to change our programs, thereby changing who we “think” we are to who we care to be and become - which is simply our physical standings in relation to one another and all. In other words, within and as every human being’s mind consciousness system's programming language is the command prompt that, in the English language is simply call Self-Forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness in terms of the command prompt of the programming language of human beings is to put it simply, a programming command for the purpose of deleting lines of code such as the lines by which we’ve defined ourselves as personalities of more or less in separation of one another instead of equally as one with each other and all. For example have a look at the expectations that I’ve projected onto those who read my writings. They are but self-judgments by which I’ve defined myself (in fear of others) by imagining what you will think of me when you realize that I just exposed myself as being less than perfect. It’s a tangled web of definitions by which I have defined myself in relation to all throughout existence – every definition as a line of programming code by which I have separated myself from life due to not realizing that words that I hold onto but do not physically stand as one with and equal to all life are but lines of code of the program of an organic robot. Herein to delete these judgments one by one, I will execute the following lines of code:
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others think of me in relation to the words I write, fearing in my imagination their imagination of me. Herein, I now see, realize and understand that my imagination of what others think of me is actually what I think of myself, self-judgments as definitions of being more or less than others, basically a form of insecurity.
- When and as I find myself judging my writing as right or wrong, good or bad in the eyes of others, basically projecting my imagination onto others, I commit myself to take a few breaths and bring all these points back to me so to give unto myself the ability to – in seeing the lines of code by which I’ve defined me unequally in relation to others/all, rewrite these lines to words that I am able to stand as and live equally in relation to all, in living words.
Honestly, I do feel as though I’ve released myself of a slight burden, but this is only one or two lines of perhaps billions or gazillions (who knows?) of lines of code that I require to correct to rewrite to create me to live to my potential. In me determining to right me by rewriting the lines of code with corrections that I am now able to use as a guideline of how to walk the correction again and again until I’ve completely overwritten it to the point of physically standing as the correction, I am creating me as the life I care to become which also happens to be the life I would have all be unto me. See, within the sea of life, even robots are able to create themselves/ourselves as life.