There are times when I experience what I would only describe as dread, a feeling of dread coming from deep down inside. I guess it is just fear, perhaps of the future or perhaps of now. A few months ago, just before I awoke, I dreamt I was standing in front of my partner and I said to her, “I feel a sense of dread, the end is near.” Twenty minutes later, I called my friend to go for a bike ride and he told me his father had just died. Two days after that, my best friend Happy passed away. Lol: even when I attempt to be somewhat serious, I still seem to care more about poetry, cadence and the rhyming of words. I don’t really do it on purpose, but I don't try to avoid it either. I simply enjoy the sounds of the words as I read them and the rhyme. Sometime I even wonder, does anyone else see or hear what I’m saying or attempting to convey in the words - not that this is one of those times. No, this is simply me rambling to see if I can see something in the words that I’ve missed of me, a reason.
Ask the question, become the question so to understand the answer. Ok, here’s a question.
Why should I/we continue to push for change on this planet, for whom are we trying to help that refuse to help themselves. Answer, me! if I give up on them or anyone else, I give up on myself.
Question # 2: If everything is by design, what’s the sense in attempting to input something new, does it not risk messing up the design? Answer: in the absence of certainty of all being as per design and the design going as planned, the best one is able to go by is common-sense assessment of one's perspectives. I’m not actually satisfied with that answer; there’s also perhaps something inside, a part of me saying "just because I don't understand something right now doesn't mean that I won't understand in the steps ahead. It’s always only ever a question of taking the next step."
Question #3: Where does this new/ancient technology guy come form or more specifically, where’s his knowledge and information coming from? My guess is it’s an external perspective of physical reality.
Question #4: Why am I here? Really, sometimes I ask myself, what the hell am I doing here? I tell my students that my job or goal is to wake them up and in some of their eyes I do see or imagine I see flickers of consideration or realization. Then when I speak with my coworkers, my fellow instructors… Oh... There are no words that I care to use here to describe the care or concern that I do not hear in their voices or see in their eyes. So, back to the question, what am I doing here? To be as honest as I’ve ever been, I would continue to say, the only thing that keeps me here, that keeps me going is me. I don’t reckon there’s anywhere else to go or for that matter, any other place that I’d rather be. Strange!
On a final note of these ramblings that rarely get posted, one of the points that I picked up from listening to the new/ancient technology guy is that, with this technology will come the ability of those who wish to leave, to go to space, to do so, while those who decide to remain behind in physicality may also decide. Something to chew on…