Last night, I ended up going over to a friend's house for the purpose of giving him some legal advice on a case he is perusing against a certain organization/business. My advise was simple: accept whatever their next offer is or may be and walk away. In the course of conversing with him and looking over what he had written, it occurred to me that his writing had improved substantially since the last time I saw him some 5-6 months ago. It also occurred to me that his writing style was somewhat similar to the style I use for persuasive legal arguments, and that he had in some ways, changed. He was calmer and a better listener then I had known him to be in the past. Later, I realized that what I was seeing was me in him, and that it was I that had changed. Perhaps he too had changed; it's sometimes difficult to say for certain because when I change the whole world around me seems also to change. Recently, I’ve been seeing this more and more: myself in others or others in me. It's a seeing or viewing that I welcome because it gives me the chance to see where I have changed and where I'm still not moving/progressing. My idea of oneness and equality is that, the understanding of all is equal and one, and within this, all will be free to express within and as that which is best for all. Obviously we have a ways to go, yet I would say that the train is moving. I would also say that I still have a ways to go before I am certain of the tracks/path on which to walk. In terms of the walking part (walking without or with fewer thoughts, feelings, emotions, Reactions...), I will once again say I’m making progress with my breathing, and in understanding and changing my mind/beingness/physical relationship. However, in terms of whether or not my actions/deeds are always what is best for all or even best for me, I’m sometimes uncertain if it's me as a being directing me, or if it's still my personality/ego.
- I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to participate within/as doings/deeds within which I was clear that I was directing me, yet unclear as to whether the my direction was supportive to/for me or another. I see, realize and understand that in letting go of polarity definitions of good/bad, wright/wrong, etc., I am left with just me to direct myself. It's interesting because in facing points where I have fallen before, there is the chance I will fall again, and/or see where I am standing and where I’m still stalling. Herein I commit myself to carefully explore the points wherein I am unsure, and to not allow myself to manipulate me into believing that I am facing a point when in actuality I’m just walking back into it.