Today was basically an uneventful day and as far as it being a working day, I’m kind of thankful for that. There was one point when I spoke with the principal of the school. I spoke to him about the midterm exams that he wants me to write, but doesn't want to pay me to write. I found a solution to that by finding the exams on the publication's website; they can just print them out. However, as the principal was leaving, he reminded that he wants me to do some demonstrations in December. The backchat I had was the following: demonstrations are for advertisement and should be covered under the advertising budget; I'm not going to come to the school for three different evenings, do a teaching performance in front of parents, and only get paid on an hourly basis for twenty-minutes. I didn't say this to the principal because I have never agreed to do it; he just keeps telling me that I'm going to do it. I find this very strange because I’m just a part time teacher there; I don't even have a contract there. That's about it for the backchat – except once again I continue to see an education system cramming information into students. I'm part of it and it's very difficult not to be. I'm given way too much to teach in the amount of time I have with the students. I see the entire system as absurd and harmful. The students at some level also realize this and many just turn off. It's probably like in wartime when everyone's doing things that they wouldn't normally do – because they're being ordered to do it and their comrades are doing it. My teaching goals are give students opportunities to learn English – some Math and Science too, and impart unto them skills that may assist them in navigating through the system.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat about issues regarding work, and within this not realize that as I’ve already made my decision regarding how I’m proceeding in work (day to day), it counterproductive and harmful to participate within the mind chatter. Thus I commit myself to stop that chatter before it even begins, and within this give myself the opportunity to walk this working situation self honestly in the physical.
- I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge that I’ve been given way too much to teach, and within this not see that it's up to me to decide what to teach. Thus, I commit myself to continue to make time during the classes to communicate with the students, and to assist them.