Today was basically an uneventful day
and as far as it being a working day, I’m kind of thankful for
that. There was one point when I spoke with the principal of the
school. I spoke to him about the midterm exams that he wants me to
write, but doesn't want to pay me to write. I found a solution to
that by finding the exams on the publication's website; they can just
print them out. However, as the principal was leaving, he reminded
that he wants me to do some demonstrations in December. The backchat
I had was the following: demonstrations are for advertisement and
should be covered under the advertising budget; I'm not going to come
to the school for three different evenings, do a teaching performance
in front of parents, and only get paid on an hourly basis for
twenty-minutes. I didn't say this to the principal because I have
never agreed to do it; he just keeps telling me that I'm going to do
it. I find this very strange because I’m just a part time teacher
there; I don't even have a contract there. That's about it for the
backchat – except once again I continue to see an education system
cramming information into students. I'm part of it and it's very
difficult not to be. I'm given way too much to teach in the amount of
time I have with the students. I see the entire system as absurd and
harmful. The students at some level also realize this and many just
turn off. It's probably like in wartime when everyone's doing things
that they wouldn't normally do – because they're being ordered to
do it and their comrades are doing it. My teaching goals are give
students opportunities to learn English – some Math and Science
too, and impart unto them skills that may assist them in navigating
through the system.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat about issues regarding work, and within this not realize that as I’ve already made my decision regarding how I’m proceeding in work (day to day), it counterproductive and harmful to participate within the mind chatter. Thus I commit myself to stop that chatter before it even begins, and within this give myself the opportunity to walk this working situation self honestly in the physical.
- I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge that I’ve been given way too much to teach, and within this not see that it's up to me to decide what to teach. Thus, I commit myself to continue to make time during the classes to communicate with the students, and to assist them.
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