10 days after eye surgery

 

I had waited or put off getting eye surgery for as long as I could or as long as I felt that I could get away with diminishing sight in my right eye. For a time, I even found myself preferring to see less of the world around me. Fewer distractions, not having to actually look into people’s eyes and see myself, that kind of thing. For the most part, my left eye took up the slack so to see enough of the world around me, while my mind handled the recalibrations so that (at least for the first three years), I rarely even noticed the blurriness. 

 I guess, though, once calcification (or whatever it’s called) sets in under the lens of the eye, there isn’t that much in today’s medicine that’s going to stop it. Which brings me to why I waited so long, especially given that Taiwan's national health insurance covers the entire basic procedure and materials once you reach 55 years old – which was about 2 ½ years ago for me.

 The surface explanation is, I just couldn’t seem to get enough information to make an informed decision. It’s still somewhat of a riddle to me, almost embarrassing, yet not quite that, as to why I’m not fluent in Mandarin after almost thirty years. While I’m able to    communicate with ease very well when it comes to day to day topics, specialized topics are much more challenging. 

Whereas with Latin and Germanic languages, I find it quite simple to guess how to pronounce many words, the words (on the surface in most cases) of the Chinese language and all of its dialects have almost zero resemblance to English, Latin or any of the Germanic languages. 

 The short story is, whenever I want to speak about an unfamiliar field, such as cataract surgery, I need to learn lots of new vocabulary which won't continuously be readily accessible to me unless I recharge the vocabulary by regularly using it — which I don’t.  Thus it was quite challenging for me to get the information I needed to make an informed decision. And while I studied extensively on the internet, the medical industry doesn’t seem to do reviews for cataract procedures and materials like they do with computers, cars and appliances. 

 So I waited five years (which was in many ways simply another experiment for me) to finally commit to having the organic lens of my right eye removed and replaced with an acrylic one, and now I’m once again able to see very clearly. 

 And as for my previous reluctance to actually “look” into people’s eyes (to see them as me), I’ve gotten over that and now find it quite enjoyable to look into the eyes of others. I guess the reason I used to be hesitant to really look into the eyes of others, was to put it simply, due to a lack of self-honesty.  When I look into the eyes of others, I feel as though I see the nature of them. However, I also see the nature of myself as a reflection of them, which is cool when I’m standing self-honestly, yet not so cool if I’m not. Thankfully, I’ve been working on self-honesty; I have made a lot of progress and I now enjoy seeing clearly once again.

Eye Surgery

 

Off hand, I would say I have nothing to say, yet much to understand. Information and I guess you could say knowledge are becoming less and less relevant to me. Every time I look at the news, almost everything appears to be senseless, as though it’s been scripted to inform no one at all.

 It’s as though the AI of human consciousness (or whatever it is that’s still streaming information into and at us) has lost its ability, its will or its desire to make any sense. Perhaps, as Consciousness is on its way out (of human beings), it is just being truthful in reflecting the combined consciousness of humanity — including the diminishing intelligence of consciousness human beings. 

Yes, I too, have noticed a decline in the workings of the automated intelligence of my mind. The good news is, whereas the functionality of   my mind seems to be diminishing, my physical awareness/understanding as a physical being seems to be expanding.

 I had surgery last Friday for a cataract in my right eye, wherein the doctor removed the very blurry organic intraocular lens and replaced it with an acrylic one. The repair seems to be going well so far. I waited as long as I could before I finally decided to have this procedure done. It’s not that I have any problem being a cyborg of sorts, I’ve already got a few synthetic pieces inside of me. Rather, I have within me a certainty that I am able to or at least ought to be able to self-repair everything of myself. Alas, what ought to be and what is are not always aligned.

 So, today and the rest of this week, I’ll go to class with a patch over my eye and I’ll take the bus instead of my motor scooter. Actually, the bus system in this little university town that used to be a farming town is super convenient for me, and the first 20 minutes are always free. I think it’s that way with public transportation everywhere in Taiwan.

 Oh yea, about the water shortage. Taiwan, the island that has been keeping the world supplied with just barely enough high-end semiconductor chips may be facing its worst drought in twenty something years. And Taiwan is one of those places that receives more rain than just about any other place on earth. The hygrometer in my apartment shows the humidity at about 81 percent, which is normal for this place and quite comfortable for me. I’ve acclimated.

 When we humans mess with the weather in one area, e.g., the polar vortex, there are going to be effects or consequences that may be unpredictable. It isn’t just about the butterfly effect. Nature, the weather and the animals are all aware, standing equally to maintain this realm while they wait (I guess) humans for to also stand up and take responsibility. While these are interesting times, I no longer have much of an idea as to how things are actually going to play out.

Back to School

 

Back in my apartment, once again sitting in front of my computer while looking out the window ahead at the mango tree as it begins to bud its tiny mangoes, I wonder what I am able to write that might possibly make a difference for me or anyone else; or what I’m able to write (that I want to write) that anyone but a few will even understand. Let’s start with the standard system stuff and see where I end up.

 Yesterday, I went to visit an eye doctor, the fourth one in about three years. The funny thing is, with Taiwan’s national health insurance, I don’t even get charged the usual 3-4 dollars anymore, even for my fourth eye exam in three years.

 The head of the optometry department seemed a little skeptical: “you’ve been here four times,” he said. “I needed to understand the procedure,” I told him. “Now I understand and I want a mono focal intraocular lens put in for sure.” After the eye exams, which I’m extremely familiar with by this time, he scheduled me in for early next month. In case you’re thinking, what could be so difficult about getting an intraocular lens put into your eye?

 Well, it took me three different visits and about three years to figure out why the price always seemed to be double what I thought it should be. Finally, I found out that I would have to do both eyes (including the left one through which I still see fine) if I wanted the multifocal option. Lol, I’m still not sure if I missed something in the translation or if it was just something that nobody bothered to tell me.

 Thankfully, classes (in the classroom) will begin tomorrow, and for this semester, I am determined to be less demanding and more flexible with my students. Why? Because last semester, wherein I thought I was doing these young adults a favor by helping them to learn how to be disciplined, come to class on time, follow the syllabus instructions, etc., by insisting on high standards, I ended up receiving lower evaluation marks from my high level classes, which tells me that my students would probably prefer me to be less demanding. And as the saying goes, the customer is always right. I’ve never really liked being a hard-ass instructor anyway.

 In other news, I’m still somewhat perplexed as to what’s going on in the world. While I understand the technicalities of the mass insanity that has been and will likely continue to spread throughout the world, I’m not yet certain what is going on in relation to the vaccine rollout.

 While it’s clear to me that the virus itself (as far as viruses go) has and will probably continue to be beneficial to human beings (in terms of freeing us from the enslavement of consciousness systems), the vaccines, which apparently aren’t even vaccines as per the definition of vaccines, are still somewhat of a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I feel that the decision to get shot or not to get shot is a personal one that is most likely being made on a beingness level.  Metaphorically speaking, perhaps it’s like choosing the red pill or the blue pill.

In the news, which I barely read any more these days, everything seems more and more senseless – as though the reality of humanity is crumbling. Thus I am focusing more on myself and what is right here in front of me.  As I haven’t been swimming in about five months, I bought some exercise  equipment and have begun exercising regularly in my apartment and walking in the hills whenever I get the opportunity. And the photo above is from the Lunar new year celebrations at my partner's family home in the countryside.