Dreams and Symbolism

 In the first scene of this dream, I find myself teaching at a school that I hadn’t gone to in a while. I wonder if I’m even supposed to be there. I wonder if they haven’t already replaced me with someone else — it feels as though I haven’t shown up for work in quite a while. I ask the elementary-school aged students where we are in the book, and they say we finished it but the boss or owner of the school won’t let them move on to the next book because the school franchise isn’t yet permitting it.

 I decide to find the owner, get the money that I’m owed and get the hell out of there, but as soon as she sees me, she scurries away. When I attempt to follow her, a man, perhaps the one who’s replacing me grabs hold of my arms firmly and attempts to prevent me from following her. I go straight for his windpipe and begin to squeeze it. It occurs to me that this doesn’t to look good. So I loop my right wrist around his shoulder and begin pushing him down. I notice that I’m enjoying this wrestling match and I tell him that he’s not going to win. Suddenly, I feel one of his fingers tickles my chin in jest as though he’s just teasing me. Later I realize the message to myself in that.

 Having better things to do and basically wanting to get home, I decide to forgo the money and head home. I find myself gliding through the air holding onto a bookshelf, using it as a wing as I descend down over a snow covered mountain side, presumably on my way home. The problem is I’m losing altitude too quickly and will end up crash landing in one of the small lakes or ponds in the valley below unless I increase my altitude. I turn the bookshelf or file cabinet over (as I’m still gliding through the air) and I empty its contents, which solves the problem, enabling me to increase my altitude.

 In the next scene, I find myself having landed in a strange city near a bunch of construction workers just finishing up their work. I begin speaking with one of them, a dark skinned man as he is apparently getting ready to return home. I ask him, do you know which direction Taoyuan city is i? He replies that he’s never heard of the place. Then it occurs to me that I’m lost in a far off land that I don’t even recognize.

 I follow him, ask him if he can help and say that I’ll pay him. But when I look at my wallet, there’s nothing in it, not even an ID. I go with him him into a restaurant and notice that I’m extremely hungry and thirsty. I’m thankful that this stranger seems willing to trust that I’ll pay him back later for the food and assistance in getting home.

 Suddenly, I notice a police car coming fast downhill towards the shop we’re in. I can see that it’s going to crash through the front entrance and hit him. So I grab him and push him out of the way, but it doesn’t matter because the police car turned at the last minute. I noticed the stranger checking to make sure that I didn’t just steal his wallet, which, even to this day is something that I’ve conditioned myself to do whenever a stranger bumps into me. With that, I realize that he is me and this is a dream. I say to him, this is a dream, I am you and you are me.

 Finally, I manage to grab a food basket, which I don’t get a chance to eat (almost never do in my dreams). I see a waitress with a bottle of Mountain Dew (energy drink), and I ask her for it. She reluctantly gives it to me, but shows me that it’s already been opened/used for a while, like it’s been on display or something like that. So I don’t drink, but instead find myself kissing the waitress’s neck and she seems to be enjoying it. Another waitress comes on the scene and I forget all about the Mountain Dew or that I’m trying to get home. And just as I’m thinking this is kind of fun, I recall that it’s just a dream, I’d just be fucking myself, and I wake myself up.

 In another dream, I've just moved to Singapore and bought a house with my partner. Shortly after moving into our new home, we meet a neighbor who offers to show me around. I find myself walking through various parts of Singapore, but I’m not wearing any shoes and it’s not the Singapore I remember.

 The neighbor tells me he’s a teacher trainer and suddenly it occurs to me that I haven’t yet actually signed a contract, which leads me to hesitate to tell him what I do or where I’m going to work. Thus, in addition to feeling insecure or vulnerable by being barefoot, I also feel that my partner and I may have bought the house too soon and committed ourselves to living in Singapore without having a secure income.

 I decided to write these particular dreams out because they point out some issues that I’ve been noticing for which I haven’t yet come up with solutions. Specifically, even though I’m able to see the programs, the folders and the files as though they’re in bookshelves or file cabinets in my mind, I haven’t yet eliminated the programs themselves or even completely prevented them from automatically attempting to activate.

 In other words, I still haven’t been able to empty myself of the contents of the programs of subliminal undercurrent programs attempting to resource energy for my mind consciousness system. It’s like, while my mind consciousness system craves for energy to survive, I as the directive principle am constantly intervening to stop the energetic/emotional programmed playouts, which has led to my mind slowing down a lot, yet not stopping. It just never gives up.

 As for the symbolism, teaching or even being at a school, wondering if I’ve been replaced, wondering where I am in the book/lesson, being in a faraway land, being far from home, alone… Having to empty the contents of the file cabinet or bookshelf is showing what I’ve been attempting to do. The question that I keep asking myself is, how do I empty myself of these base programs, am I even able to remove them once and for all? And being thirsty for the Mountain Dew energy drink, I guess that’s my mind wanting more energy.

 Instead of going for a frontal assault, blindly attempting to push through these aspects of my mind, my tactic is to continuously weaken the defenses of the mind by reducing its energy supply so as to eventually push my way through.