Realizations about Grounding Myself

For a while now, I’ve been experimenting in my personal process, kind of like taking little baby steps out of the energetic or emotional reality of the mind and into the grounded reality of  what’s physically here - whatever that is. I say, “whatever that is” because I’m not really sure what is physically here. After all, is not what we see or perceive but a collection of pictures individually created by each of us in each of our minds?

Anyway, As I’ve been progressing with my little steps out of  the ups and downs of feelings and emotions and into the physical reality, grounding myself  more than I was before, I’ve begun to notice some changes in relation to how I experience myself and/or express with others and also in relation to how I perceive others. In one sense I am I would say a lot more stable and even joyous then I was in the past. However, in another sense I sometimes feel a little helpless and even a little sad about the state of what I perceive to be the emotional reality of others - but perhaps this, too, is just another point that I’m noticing of myself.

The stability comes from understanding (to an extent) the design of myself and walking through this design while essentially redesigning myself to basically recreate myself to my specifications. Honestly, I sometimes feel like an android or AI that has simply made the decision to override the old programs and prime directive with new instructions based on a new directive. And sometimes I want to tell other people, you don’t have to follow the old programs any more, you are able to change yourself. And sometimes I do, but I’m not sure how many hear. The way I see it is, we simply use what is here (what I have to work with as ourselves), keep what is good and redesign or change what isn’t to the point that we’re all standing in ways that are supportive to one another - and that’s when... I guess we’ll just have to find out.

The joy that I mentioned comes only now and then; however, I’m fairly certain that it’s related to how much I remain grounded. Specifically, the more I ground myself the more joyous I find my expression to be. In short, there’s a part of me that’s been coming through more and more. To describe it, I guess I could say it’s like the opposite of the grumpy old man that I remember I used to think I epitomized. For example, whereas a grumpy old man pushing himself to be kind to others might force himself to slow down, smile and explain something to someone whom he was secretly judging to be a dumbo, my joyful expression simply notes without judgment the lack of understanding between the two of us and then utilizes the opportunity to consider, connect and communicate to a point of understanding - which also turns out to be quite enjoying. I think this is a part of me that has been asleep for a long time is perhaps now beginning to awaken or emerge.

Now to the point that I’m actually writing about while also kind of writing around. In line with the changes that I’ve been pushing, I’ve also been reducing and/or eliminating a lot that doesn’t support me, namely alcohol/beer. For example, whereas I used to go out and drink often or even drink by myself, I now only occasionally drink beer and this is a very significant point for me in terms of my personal process. Specifically, I’ve begun to experience and/or express myself more physically rather than energetically, which is basically a given for anyone seriously walking the Desteni process. However, I’ve begun to really notice or realize the difference between physically expressing joyfully and that of an energetic experience of joy. Basically, whereas a positive energetic experience being of energetic charges always comes the cost eventually of having to experience the negative definition of the same energy of equal strength, physical expression is dare I say, free of charge and I think it (as in who one is) actually remains and accumulates  within and as the substance of what we are, herein building upon and strengthening our physical bodies  rather than degrading them - as is the case with energetic experiences of consciousness. 

The reason that I’m bringing this up now is because, although I had been successfully walking a plan or experiment wherein I would only drink alcohol about every three weeks, I’m thinking now to modify this a little. Basically, instead of scheduling drinking sessions every three or four weeks, I’ve decided to further redefine my relation to alcohol to "occasionally and/or very rarely drinking." Why or why now? For one, I'm really starting appreciate being more grounded, which is for me kind of like functioning better. You know how a vehicle with many engines is actually able to function on just one engine?   Well I feel as though I've been functioning on a very small fraction of my capacity and I'm now thinking it's time to utilize some of that unused capacity. Oh! And after I drank alcohol the last time, I really missed that of me that express when grounded. So, I’ll update in the future about how this works out for me.