March 29, 2019 Writing

It’s like we’re writing the past, present and future right now in real time. So many things seem to be connected between the divide of the here that we are writing the control of consciousness. I guess we could just refer to consciousness as “Control”, like they do on Star Trek Discovery, as though it’s a secretive intelligence agency attempting to control the outcome of everything, which in a sense I guess it is, just not as secretive as it perhaps once was. Watch the TV shows, especially the popular ones to get an idea of where Control as the AI of the global consciousness is at.

The global consciousness of humanity, ain’t it just AI though? And how about us, do we even really even know what we are or where we came from, I mean before we emerged into existence, how we emerged into existence and why? There’s a reason it always seems as though we’re fighting ourselves, but I just can’t seem to place my finger on it. I get it that we’re all one of the same one: you are me and I am you and so on and on and on to inanimate objects, molecules, universes, dimensions and so on. The cool thing is that existence as a whole is also aware from the big to the small and the small to the big. So I guess if you really wanted to pray or ask for assistance, you might as well just go straight to all of existence and talk to yourself - lol. Why not: as within so without, as above so below from the big to the small and right back at ya.

See, it’s like I said, I just can’t seem to place my finger on what it is I’m attempting to say. It’s as though it’s all right here or there, but all that comes out easily are sentences that really don’t mean a thing - beyond that point that so often seems just out of reach. Perhaps this is existence way of telling me that I’m reaching for something that is not here rather than working with what is right here, relevant right now.

I want to say, “OK, in all seriousness”, but when I look around me (at all of the other me’s out there), so much still doesn’t seem to add up. But it’s getting closer, at least the divide between us is. It’s like it’s narrowing and becoming more defined. Those authors who wrote about the future, in so many ways there were spot on, but there’s one thing that many of them may not have counted on, time being just a construct of control of the mind which is (again I will say) just AI. This is something that used to fascinate me and I guess it still does, especially the AI dimension. I can’t help but think (lol) that our entire existence is of a design and I’m not just talking about this physical existence, I’m talking about since the beginning when we first emerged. Alright, I’ll leave this line of thought for some other time in order to focus on what is relevant. I guess I just had to get some of this stuff out of me.

The other day, I found myself feeling hurt emotionally as though my feelings were actually hurt. What’s unusual about that, you ask? I don’t remember when the last time I felt as though my feelings had been hurt. Perhaps this is because in the past I would have defined such a point as a personal attack, immediately raised an invisible shield around me and then counterattacked or at least plotted to in secret behind someone’s back. This time though, I didn’t raise any shields and as the words came through I let them pass, almost like opening myself up to the sword in order not to harm the wielder of that sword. Fascinating! Thankfully though, there’s more to this story. Specifically, in opening myself up, basically keeping my defenses down, I got to see a point of ego within/as me that I’ve been still holding onto. In looking at this point, sad as it seemed, I chuckled to myself, “old man why do I even bother with attempting to hide or deny the reality that I am getting older and my body is not what it used to be. Which reminds me, it’s almost 10:00, bedtime, which means it’s time for my YouTube yoga lesson.