Yesterday, I wrote and posted a blog on something related to how we humans are creating the physical reality. However, this wasn’t the topic that I had written a note for myself to remember to write about. Instead, I was supposed to write on the topic of vulnerability. I notice that I do this sometimes when writing, sometimes without even being aware of it. Instead of writing on a point that I really need to open up or expand on, I’ll end up diverting my attention to a subject that, while fun, may also be irrelevant to self creation - which actually could be a follow up topic to how the mind diverts our attention/focus, thereby also distracting us or luring us away from our creative abilities - like I as a mind am doing to myself in this very moment.

According to Google, vulnerability is the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. So, how about I look at how I’ve defined and applied this word and redefine and apply it in a way that is supportive to myself and everything else?

The first point that comes up in relation to or when thinking of the word vulnerable or vulnerability is like a picture of me in a crowded place with many strangers all around me. And as I walk, I remain conscious of the threat that anyone of them could pose to me. So I remain vigilant while also being certain not to show any fear or let on that I have entered into a protective state. I remember this state so well, especially in relation to traveling. I wonder if there’s ever been a time in this reality when I felt as though I just blended in? Everything (except for animals and nature) is as though it’s always been foreign or had a foreign aspect to it in relation to me, even when I’m around people that look similar to me. Perhaps this is why I decided to live in on an island with a reputation as being one of the safest places in the world. Here there’s absolutely no way for me to blend in; so I don’t even try and from my perspective, I know where I stand, kind of like a guest in a foreign land.

Actually I have worked on vulnerability over the years quite a lot in terms of redefining how I stand - from that of a starting point vulnerability of a fear of others to that of the starting-point vulnerability as a humbleness in relation to others. Btw, my intention here is to move/change myself to an understanding of humbleness. 

In looking more at this point of vulnerability, I see images, e.g., me talking to auto mechanics, telling them what to do from a starting point of fearing that they might try to cheat me if they think that I’m weak or I don’t know what I’m talking about. That’s how I was a couple of weeks ago when I wanted my car brakes fixed. I went in there and told those guys what to do and made it clear that I didn’t want to pay a lot of money. They changed the brake fluid, charged me thirty dollars and today I’ll probably take the car somewhere else and try once again to get those brakes fixed. On the other hand, several weeks before that, I took my car in to the place just next door for a different problem, wherein I humbly waited (still kind of from a point of fear) while four or five mechanics worked on and tested my car’s engine. That ended up costing over a hundred dollars and didn’t fix that problem either. Yea, I’ve noticed the trend here with my car and I am already in the process of looking for another one. And that’s another fear, lol.

Ok, I do realize that the best way to actually get to the core of a point and deal with it is via writing out and sounding self forgiveness along with self-corrective statements to live in relation to that point, hereby targeting the mind directly with sound movements to replace the energetic constructs.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear being vulnerable as a fear of not being in control of every aspect of my environment, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that, as the starting point of my self-movement as the point of self-creation, I am physically actually able to determine the outcome (as in who I am and will be) of every movement I make/create and am therefore also responsible for the creation of myself as the outcomes of every movement I make. 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to fear being harmed by the actions, movements and even thoughts of others that were actually my own thoughts projected onto them, thereby abdicating my responsibility as the creator creating myself instead of embracing it by breathing, slowing myself down and standing hear in and as each moment as a point of self-trust humbly moving myself as best I am able in consideration of what is best for all = moving and doing in relationship connection as I would have all move and do in relationship connection to me.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to project onto others my fears of them as though it were their fears of me and from this point go on to judge them as being a threat to me, rather than take responsibility for myself completely by stopping the projection system altogether and simply moving myself as best I am able in each moment in consideration of their movements as co creators of my physical environment.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to attempt to define and control the nature of my physical environment, as though that nature was created by the nature of others, rather than see, realize and understand that, as my definitions of the nature of others has always been of definitions of myself (that I projected onto the physical reality), the solution has always been to look inwords into me and change myself from perceptions to physical standing equally as as one with what is really here. Herein, I see once again that it (as everything I perceive) all comes back to me, as though I’ve been experiencing myself inside of a bubble reality instead of equally as one of this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see, realize and understand that, vulnerability isn’t something to be feared, but embraced within and as each moment as an opportunity for me to face new situations unconditionally by moving myself in relationship connection to my environment as best I am able and in so doing change and create myself anew, because as no two situations are exactly alike, change from a starting point of standing as is best for all is a point of self-creation or self-expansion.

When and as I find myself at a point of going into or getting ready to attempt to control a situation or an outcome, I commit to breathe, slow down, let go of my perceptions of the nature of the situation or my environment, look without judgment at the physical movements/happenings of the situation or my environment and then move myself as best I am able to support myself and all that is here based on what is physically, verifiably here.