One of the things I’ve noticed about processing myself through the mind and into the physical reality is that it really does often feel as though I’m moving backwards in time to in essence return to an earlier point in time while carrying within and as myself better tools and abilities to retake, remake and correct that particular step. I guess this is why the term, peeling the onion is often used in relation to the personal process of beings. It’s as though we’re peeling off layers of ourselves to expose how we’ve been so as to see, realize and understand our mistakes as missteps to be remade or re walked to a state of correction, from which point one is then able and ready to take another step ahead.
My story today has to do with self-sabotage via self-fulfilling prophecies. I wonder: in looking into and predicting the future, do we also often end up tying ourselves to our predictions, in essence self-fulfilling our own prophecies without considering that we also have the ability to decide upon and change the predicted outcomes while we’re walking them? I think we do. For example, when I first began working at my current job, I said to myself that I would stay there for at least three years; if I stayed for four, I’d stay for Five and if I stayed for six, I’d stay for ten. I plan things out and I appreciate that about myself; however, I’m now beginning to see that some of my plans have also been quite limiting.
For example, recently I started noticing a recurring thought pattern: shouldn’t I push myself to move to other locations in order to challenge myself to learn more and expand; isn’t it necessary for me to change locations in order to expand myself and so on? This kind of “logic” had always made sense to me because it’s what I’ve always said to myself and what I had always ended up doing - moving in search of something better. Thus, in discussing this point with someone who’s assisted me much to see more clearly my often flawed reasoning called logic, it suddenly occurred to me that these thought patterns were actually automated processes of mind constructs placing the blocks as thoughts in front of me one by one for me to look at and latch onto as though I were directing myself and fulfilling my plans instead of living out the same old pattern of thinking and believing that change for the better was to be imagined, searched for and found somewhere out there rather than created physically right here.
What I’m talking about is the decision to give into the fear of missing out on imagined opportunities somewhere out there or face the fear and challenges of creating the opportunities and living them to my fullest potential right here. In other words, as I’ve begun to see that where I am as the path I am now walking is actually the sum or result of the path that I’ve walked, I’ve also come to realize that the only part or parts of me that require changing have always been right here within and as me. Practically speaking, this means that it’s probably best for me to say right where I am and continue to focus on changing myself right here rather than wasting time searching for better places to do the same thing that I’m already doing right here.
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