Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Seeing Where I Am by Assisting and Supporting Another

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Last weekend, I went to visit a friend that I had not seen in almost three years. In him or through him, in terms of my memory of how I was in relation to him in the past, I considered (through a form of practical comparison) how I am now, i.e., if and how I’ve changed in relation to him. What I noticed most was how much I listened, really listened without judgments and so on which I would have used in the past to rebuke what he had said. Instead, I considered how I could assist him to move past the same points it seems he’s been dealing with for a long time, ever since I’ve known him.


I was not aware of very much to say that would have outweighed the support of simply listening to what he had to say. I see that he and so many others are caught in the same current. So close to the assistance and support of a shore. Yet in not seeing or even imagining how differently their lives could be, they seem torn between looking for a solution out there, while refusing to see or acknowledge that it’s right here - the question and the answer within and as themselves.

The potential is there. Where, I wonder is the will to shift the eyes from searching out there to looking within? I was able to see this point in him perhaps because it’s a point that has been very relevant for me, the point of pushing myself to bring everything back to me even though it is often the exact opposite of what I feel like doing. I could see in my friend the potential or ability to change himself and his life for the better; yet I did not see the will, meaning that, it was his decision to be in that location and on some level he was aware of this.


As with “all” points these days, the sooner I bring them back to me, the sooner I will myself to resolve them. Thus, in terms of the first point of noticing how much I listened and considered how to assist, I note that I have in thought, word and in deed changed myself to better care for others, which shows me that I am also better caring for myself. Cool.


The second point, not completely seeing what to say to him or show him is of the realization of the reality of proces. In other words, in suggesting to him that he get a desk and begin writing, I was sharing with him the best tool that I’ve found for changing myself through writing out as patterns of acceptances and allowances to physically see the entanglements to write them right like a map to guide one’s self to change one’s living. Sometimes we change slowly and sometimes we change quickly. The key as I see it is to keep writing right the map of the plan of one’s life, so to at least have a plan. No one can do the writing for another; we are only able to do it for ourselves and this is cool because it's how we are able to see and be certain of the point of self creation.


The third point and this is an important one, has to do with not seeing his will to push through and face the realization that each one of us, ultimately is responsible for how we’ve been and who we are. As this point of pushing through various points, I’ve noticed that I’ve sometimes carried self-judgments into my writings of the map of how I thought I should be. This resulted me having to loop back to the point to have to face it again and again until I forgave and let go of the self-judgments so to see clearly where I was and wasn't aligned to my plan. For example, in recent confrontations or disputes that I’ve been involved in, I had judged myself as being manipulating for seeing or guessing the play outs and not coming up with and implementing a solution that would immediately end the disputes. However, what I didn’t immediately see was that, walking points within the system to create solutions based on the system that is here, requires practice or practical knowledge. In the bigger picture, this means that sometimes it’s necessary to walk these disputes through in the system while taking advantage of the opportunities to change one’s self in the process. In other words, sometimes the problem is part of the process and the most convenient route is not necessarily the best solution. I will write more on this in the future.

Finally, for this post, I would like to say that I really appreciate the assistance support that I’ve been receiving from Desteni, especially from the latest interviews on Eqafe.
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