Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Day 1: Starting over, again

Here I go again... The reason I'm starting this new Blog is because most of the others who are also walking this process have started new blogs, and as I've made a commitment to walk within the group, so I shall. I knew that this was going to take some getting used to, and I realize that this is just the beginning. Just the fact that I’m writing this (as though it's a big deal) shows me that I have a lot to learn regarding walking within a group. When walking by myself, I always know what's going on; but in walking with a group, I find myself uncertain as to which way or method to take. I want to be sure I move in the same direction as the group, so that I’m not being counterproductive. Yes, I have always wanted to do things my way; I've always liked shortcuts, and I’ve always gotten lost – more than anyone that I’ve ever known – not a joke.

It's cool, once again being in the Desteni I Process, doing mind constructs, etc., but still encountering resistances which I push through. Another point that I'm grappling with is the format (if there is one) for my new blog. Most people seem to just mostly write self-forgiveness as though it just flows from them. I prefer didactically writing myself out, and then doing self-forgiveness. So, in the absence of concise guidance to the contrary, I'm going to continue writing the sentences as they come, and then write self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements.

  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more suited for walking alone than I am for walking in a group, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/limit me to a personality construct of walking alone.

  • I forgive that I've accepted and allowed myself participate within and as resistance towards aligning myself to the group's way of doing things, and within this not realize that I alone have created/defined myself as having difficulties with groups.
  • I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to walk here within and breath - self expression, without the definition/limitations of a personality suit.
  • I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to do things my way, as opposed to another way, without considering both ways, to determine which way is best for all.
Self-corrective statements
I see/realize and understand that my resistance to walking in a group is just a program that I designed, and the only power it may have over me is the power that I give it. Thus, I no longer accept the definition of me that as being better/worse inside/outside of a group, and I commit myself to identify all of the personalities that I have defined myself as, and stand one and equal to them, so as to no longer be limited to personalities. I see/realize and understand that my tendency to want to do things my way is a design of and as me as ego. Therefore, I commit myself to stop my participation within and as the tendency/desire to do things my way – and instead go with the way that is most beneficial to all.

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