A Dream of Being Lost - Part II, Analysis

A Dream of Being Lost - Part II

From writing out part I of A Dream of Being Lost, I’ve been able to pinpoint various fears or energetic definitions of inferiority - that which I’ve been standing in fear of. For example, “out drinking” and “alcoholic” being at the beginning and the end of the dream indicate to me the primary fear that a part of me is pointing out to myself, which I am now in the process of facing by writing/righting it out of the mind to a more organized, more manageable view, my computer screen. In relation to alcohol, even though I’ve  moderated my alcohol consumption as I’ve grown older over the years, I am still  holding onto  a fear of falling back into a pattern of drinking excessively. Herein, an interesting point or lesson that I’ve learned in relation to fear is, that which I fear, if I hold onto it and keep charging it, will eventually manifest into and as my  reality. The reason this fear was coming up over the last couple of weeks had to with my plans to go to the Earthfest, Taiwan music festival for for the weekend. In the past, I had been to these kinds of festivals before and always ended up feeling like shit, driving home and for the next week because I had partied too much and burned myself out. Therefore, in pinpointing the fear, I considered how I was going to release it so not to manifest it as my  reality and instead, go have a fun weekend.

Having written out perhaps over a thousand pages of self-forgiveness and self-commitment/correction statements, I have realized one of many important points. Writing out and sounding self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements assist in releasing the fear energy; however, there is still the point of following through with the commitments in real time physical living so to manifest real change again and again as self trust expands to solidify the changes = self creation as the directive principle. Therefore, after sounding self-forgiveness and commitment statements in relation to this fear, I realized what I required to do was simply a matter of trusting myself to do as I had committed to do. It was actually quite simple: don’t drink too much and make sure I got to bed at a reasonable hour. This is exactly what I did on Friday night and Saturday. Then, on Sunday morning (today) as my old and new friends were having their beer breakfast, I was packing up my gear and getting ready to drive home, wash clothes, do some writing and take a walk. To sum it up, as with so many things I participate with in this world, including breathing polluted air and eating potato chips, not all of fun things are what’s best for my body. Thus, my goal is to manage myself in/as awareness of how I’m standing and this requires self-trust that I will in deed live my commitments as the directive principle determining in the moment who/how I am. In conclusion on this point, this weekend was a successful opportunity to do just that, build self trust within to create myself as the understanding that I am able to remain the directive principle even when surrounded by temptation.

There is still some more points to look at from this dream and I will do that in part III

Communication Creation, Feb, 11, 2017

So, I had an epiphany in relation to communication creation. Now it is a question of changing my knowing to an understanding. However, before I even post that sentence with the word, epiphany, I am going to check the internet for (let’s call it) a common understanding of the word. Then, I am going to check my own definition to see if they are both aligned in-order to communicate my intention as best I am able.  Not really as best I am able, but close enough for now.

Epiphany (according to Merriam-Webster): “a (1) :  a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) :  an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) :  an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b :  a revealing scene or moment.” Yes, epiphany is the word I will choose to use here, for now.

What was my epiphany about? Words and the communication creation process, that has been compromised by a lack of awareness of how we communicate to create from the within of ourselves to the without of the world system. At this moment, I am not in a position to verbalize clearly or type out everything I know, because it is still a knowing, not an understanding. However, I  will (over time) pull this knowing out of me, piece by piece to place it here and there to see where it fits as I rewrite and revise until it is right and all of the pieces fit into place.  

I had read that, Jesus said to become the living word or something like that, but, I did not understand the dynamics or science behind such a statement. However (and this is where my epiphany comes in), I am now beginning to see the science or relationship lines embedded into and as the words as the tools of communication, the tools of creation. Now, the process for me is to extract, for lack of a better word or technique as of yet, the essence of my knowing, so to change myself from a knowing to an understanding.

Do these sentences look scrambled? From my perspective, they are extremely scrambled; nevertheless, this is my method or process of extracting and unscrambling information from inside of me. Sometimes, it's like pulling relevant information out of the air, but most of the time it's like extracting a deep splinter that been embedded close to the bone. Thus, I often end up utilizing a lot of time and many words to write right, just one sentence to the point, that I am satisfied that my intention embedded into the sentence will be communicated clearly and not easily be misinterpreted or misrepresented. This is not to say that the sentence is complete, but that my intention embedded into and as the words of the sentence is aligned with what I intend to communicate/create in consideration of those to whom I am communicating.

For example, in searching for a clear definition of the word, democracy, I probably ended up writing fifty to one-hundred pages, often setting the project down for a while, then going back to it, revising it here and there, until I arrived at the following. Democracy is a form of collective decision-making, wherein the degree of democracy expressed by the collective is equivalent to the degree by which all members of the collective have the opportunity to participate equally in all of the decision-making processes that affect the collective. It sounds simple enough; so, why did it take me more than a year to come up with?

Why must one write so many words just to arrive at one clear, succinct definition of intention to then communicate one's intention? The answer (in short) is because, I/we have entangled ourselves into and as so many different definitions, embedded in our words, thereby contradicting or countermanding with unrealized meanings, the intent of our communication, which ends up compromising our communication, thereby creating unintended outflows.

Words cast in spells, mold the clay that form the world.

From the within to the without, communication-creation requires two or more. This is why redefining our words in order to be certain of our intentions - as the main ingredients embedded into and as our words - is an essential step in the communication/creation process.  However, even though one's communication may be of a benevolent starting-point, this does not necessarily mean that his or her communication will result in benevolent outflows. Why? Because the complete “meaning” of the words cast in spells, that molded the clay into and as the world, has not been understood.

This is perhaps another dimension of the communication/creation process, one that I intend to explore and perhaps unveil. That being said, the journey may take quite some time. Thus, I will include this renewed purpose in my personal process. After all, as communication creation requires two or more, what we create will never be anything more or better than the least each other's intentions, even the suppressed and/or hidden ones.   Hence, the importance of each one's personal process.