My experience over the last few weeks in relation to such a diverse community, runs the gamut of the mind. Everyone seems to be out there in some form or another, but mostly it reminds me of being in a warzone with most of the participants just trying to survive by keeping their views alive. And me with the difficult, self-imposed task of avoiding serious conflict, refrain from triggering anyone or getting triggered and most of all, don’t harm or destroy. It’s like a virtual reality Game of Thrones with the money changers pulling the strings and tweaking things from the top in the name of social order just enough to keep the war simmering until the orders are given to wreak havoc upon humankind.
I tell myself that I just wanted to test my application of self-forgiveness and self-commitment in terms of living words, such as consideration, respect, honor and integrity - that I have been working with over the past several years. And I guess I was also somewhat curious to look and see more closely into the divide. It’s scary when you realize that all that information “out there” is connected to human beings, while at the same time, it’s all all inside of me.
Overall though, I would say that we (as a mixture of mankind) are making awesome progress. I wanted to educate, but it seems that I was the one that got educated about myself and where I am in my process. For the most part, I recognized and stopped the reactions that came up within me, but not always. Sometimes I ended up going so far as to backchat about someone or something before it occurred to me to bring that point back to myself and take responsibility for it. So I will continue to push myself to communicate with others, as I would have world leaders and policy makers do, too.
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