Lately, I haven't had that much in terms of reactions or energy participation that I saw an urgency to write about. Mostly it's just been thought projections that I’m still accepting and allowing – as though the little stuff is not so important. About three weeks to a month ago I noticed something within me that felt almost as though it clicked, like some sort of change had taken place or solidified. Whatever it was/is, it does “feel” as though the mind is being less demanding these days. There are sometimes personality activations that in a matter of seconds, make it from thought, to imagination, to internal conversation, and that's as far as they usually get. On such occasions, it's happening really fast, yet I am at least seeing the process. Most of the time it's just thought, sometimes a bit of imagination, and then I catch it. Also, I’m beginning to recognize different kinds of energy – like that of shifting from one personality to another. In doing the mind construct on “Work,” and studying the Heaven's Journey to Life Blogs (especially the one's on Time – TI(e)-ME) I have reduced the anxiety associated with Work and Time. Regarding breathing – being here in breath, it also seems as of late, to be a bit easier. One point did come up at work. I punched a time-card incorrectly and as a result, a part of the card is very difficult to read. The thought that came up was that the school would use it as an excuse to try and cheat me. The imagination was of the them doing that, justified by how I’ve defined their actions so far. The backchat was something like, “Even if it's only a couple of dollars, I'm the wrong person to mess with.” and that's where I stopped it. I'm stopping this post here because I’m writing a couple of others on the subject of Capitalism.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it's necessary to have thoughts, attempting to guess the future, based on the possibilities of the present and within this not realize that by projecting into the future – as a dimension of the mind, I sacrifice my physical presence – the here, for an illusion. Within this I see, realize and understand that thoughts of the future are rooted in fear of the future – thus the desire to predict it and gain an edge, all at the cost of the present – sacrificed for the illusion of control. I also realize that real courage is to stand in/as the moment as self-trust that each moment I will direct me for and as what is best for me and all as me. In this I understand that all is right here in as the present, and thus I commit myself to stand in the moment and direct myself here in the physical.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is the mind/consciousness being less demanding, and within this not see, realize and understand that it's not about the mind, it's about me accepting/allowing certain kinds of thoughts. In this I realize that I have an opportunity continue to push through and stop even the so-called little thoughts, as I see/realize and understand that all thoughts are consequential – of a starting-point of fear and separation. Thus I commit myself to in continuing to prevent my participating in/as energy, also stop accepting and allowing the little thoughts.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in some moments not be here and thus not realize until it's too late, that I’ve already activated a personality system – voices, judgments, what if scenarios, etc., and thus missed another opportunity to stay here. I see/realize and understand that the most effective way to stop the personality activations is to simply prevent all thoughts. In this I commit myself to stop allowing myself to use thinking as interpretation of what I am saying and or doing, stop thinking about the future, and just do it.
- I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the feeling of anxiety when approaching another person, is actually the result of switching personalities, and that as I now realize what this energy experience is, I am also able to stop it by remaining stable and not allowing myself to move into another personality when approaching another. Within this I commit myself to when approaching another, remain stable – breathing so as to not allow myself to go into or change personalities.
- I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge one of the places that I work, as being the kind of place that would try and cheat me, and within this not see the judgment within and as me that fears others cheating / getting more / pulling one over on me. I realize that my fear that another will get the better of me is the basis of my this judgment, and as it is me alone that created it, it is me alone that will stand equal to it and not allow it to move me anymore. Herein I commit myself to when and as I find myself at the point of judging that another may attempt to cheat me; stop, breathe, and let go of my insecurities – the belief that I must always protect the future me, and instead remain here within/as the certainty of what is physically here.